Random

So, did I tell you it's started?

Yes, we've been invaded by giant jars of pickles! Ok, not really, but the cuke's are starting to come on. Last week we had surprisingly cool weather for July. I think one morning it was 58 degrees, which, by the way, doesn't happen in July in Arkansas! Or at least it didn't use to happen. Just when the plants were kicking into high gear, it get's cold and slows everything down except the mosquitoes. I hope that everything recovers and we start kicking it again real soon.

I got a job,did I tell you? I'm a cashier at a convenient store. I have to admit this is the first job of it's kind for me and I'm excited to add it to the other 986 thousand things I've done to earn money in my life time. Yes, I'm over qualified for this but, what's a girl to do? I'd like to give a shout out to April and Anne..."You taught me everything I know about up selling!"

I ordered a new pair of running shoes on line yesterday. I know right! What am I thinking ordering running shoes on line? Well, it's like this, I can't find anyone to take my feet and go try some on! I was wondering why my feet were hurting me after I ran and then I looked at the bottom of the shoes... They are fixing to turn into work shoes.

Things have truly been calm around here lately! I think it's because my 20 hour a week job is working me close to 38 hours every week and all I can do is fall into bed at night and sleep. Through it all, this is still how I look at most things!

Burn Baby Burn!

Holy Moly Batman!!!

I don't say that lightly! Sometimes it's Wow! Today, I believe it's both for me. Almost a Beatcha-by-golly-wow! I just gotta say, Jesus is the only way!

He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver ~ Malachi 3:3

Can I get a witness? 

Preacher man and I are going through the fire. Not against each other, more like as a couple, which means it's getting pretty stinken hot around here. I opened up a devo book that I had laid down sometime ago, and Malachi was the scripture it had for today. Then it went on to say these words.

Our Father, who seeks to perfect His saints in holiness, knows the value of the refiner's fire. It is with the most precious metals that a metallurgist will take the greatest care. He subjects the metal to a hot fire, for only the refiner's fire will melt the metal, release the dross, and allow the remaining, pure metal to take a new and perfect shape in the mold.

A good refiner never leaves the crucible but, as the above verse indicates, "will sit" down by it so the fire will not become even one degree too hot and possibly harm the metal. And as soon as he skims the last bit of dross from the surface and sees his face reflected in the pure metal, he extinguishes the Fire. 

~ Pierson 

We are that precious metal. God is the refiner and He knows what He's doing. It is for our good and His glory that the dross (a waste product taken off molten metal during smelting) must come out. It's out junk, waste matter, refuse. It's so much a part of us that it takes a really hot fire to bring it to the surface so that it can be skimmed off. Without the fire, well, it stays right where it is. 

Do you know people who hold on to their bitterness like it was a precious metal? I have been holding on to my dross for dear life, but today, I'm done with it. God is refining me for more and I had forgotten that. The enemy of my soul had me blinded and preoccupied but no more. I remember it's Gods hand that holds me here and He is looking at me, expecting to see His reflection and I do not want to disappoint Him.

New Job?

Chloe in tyedye, Lily with hand on
head, Ava with smoke.

So, Guess What?!?! I got a new job! Another job?! A volunteer opportunity?!! The name of this new, whatever it is, is called; Walking the girls to school! 

Now that I think about it, it's all a blur, but I do remember going to the neighbor's Friday morning to either feed my chicken friends or something really important. I walked into the house, for some reason and mass pandaemonium had already ensued. The next thing I know, I was walking with the whole herd to the elementary school.

Momma Woo has to get Lily to 2nd grade and Ava to Pre-K between 7:30 and 7:45, the bus picks up Chloe at 7:40 this week and Ryan has to be taken somewhere in NLR by 8:00, I think that's right. So, I got to thinking, why don't I help by walking the girls to school.

We had gone to bed with our hair wet and bradded, so this morning, it was wild hair! We both had on cute dresses, huge backpacks and flashy shoes. Lily talked the whole way and Ava watched her shoes flash with each step.

Tomorrow, I going to take a picture of them and ask them what they are thankful for. 

Me, I'm thankful for the hugs I get when they leave for the day!    

Down Day!

This is the first day I haven't had to get out my notebook and see what I have to get done today, in about a month, if not 15 day's. 

The Parsonage Open House was last night and we lived through it. Not everyone came and that's ok, it would've been nice, but I get it. Momma kept telling me we had too much food...she was right! She's always right. I don't know what it is in me that feels like when I put out food, I have to have enough to feed an army or maybe The Army, but it's in me! Could not have done it without my folks helping to prepare and the church ladies cleaning up. I think my knees are still swollen!

This day, I have nothing on my agenda and while that scares me a little, I'm going to live into it! I have a ton of reading to do for class and I've started back playing my Sax, so I might do that too. Sometimes we just have to take a down day, and today is mine! 

Ripped

Boy, am I glad I announced I was going to be posting more! I don't know what I was thinking, oh wait, I'm sure I wasn't thinking and I wanted to share that with you!

I went to Fort Smith on Friday in order to be at the monastery bright and early for class on Saturday morning. Had to drive through a horrific storm in order to get there and came to the conclusion that I prefer driving 80 in hard rain in a truck! The Mini did just fine, I on the other hand, was offered a scotch upon arrival.

While I was gone, Preacher man had a visit from a man that we have been waiting on all summer long, the tree take-her down dude! Both of the very old, planted too close to the house, pine trees, are now down. They are down all over the back yard and the dogs have no idea where to go potty, but they are down. 

I have been buzzed by Humming birds that don't know where to land in order to wait for other Hummers to buzz! Every black flying bug that lived in the trees are swarming and in a really bad mood. It smells like Christmas in the back yard and now we have to start cleaning up and there are not enough hours in the day!

Do you find that your day is too short too? That all you do is run from one thing to the next? Without taking time to slow down and just breathe? Do you find that every time you do sit down to breathe, you get buzzed? I am with you, but the really cool part is, God is with you too. 

I found yesterday, I just had to do some physical work in the yard. I now have close to 200 iris' ready to be replanted somewhere. The cool part is they aren't under my Crape's anymore! However, every muscle in my body is now buzzing me! 

There is just something that calms down in me when I pull things out of the ground. That ripping sound of roots being pulled from the earth, the smell of the damp dirt... it puts me smack dab in a Holy place. So yesterday, I got to play with God in the dirt and he showed me how even the worms are something he's proud of. When the day was done and I was cleaning up, I looked over what I had done. It didn't seem like a huge amount had been changed. Then I noticed, something in me had shifted. I was calmer and stiller than I had been in a long time. I don't know how long this shift will last, but when I start to get crazy again, I will go see about pulling something else out of the ground and allow myself to re-center on what really is important.

We need to remember that the evil one is out there ready to steal our joy, every day. When we don't take time or crave out time, to just sit and be with the Holy One, well, we end up being the ones being ripped from our ground! So take 20 minutes today to sit somewhere that you enjoy, and ask God to speak to you, then watch and listen. When you make time for Him, he shows up! 

  

Day 1

Well, today is the day that Preacher man becomes Senior Pastor at Sylvan Hills UMC. I guess it happened last night at midnight. I can tell you I did not hear anything "going off" as I didn't sleep worth a pooh. Preacher man, likewise did not sleep much, but who can blame us, we have never been this way before. We had everything in the world to worry about and at this minute I can't seem to think of any of them. One of the cool things for me was a gentleman came up to me after the service and said Your the first Pastor's spouse we have had in...well a long time! I love the fact that I'm not following a beloved Pastor's Wife! Thank you Lord!


Preacher man and I served communion together this morning. Now, this wasn't our first time serving together, but it was the first time we severed this church. We had our little name tags on so everyone would know what to call us. Preacher man had asked that everyone wear their name tags, however we found out this isn't a name tag wearing church! BUT, they all had stick-on name tags and we were able to call each one by name as they came up for communion. 


That's when it started for me, I was overcome with pure joy. It has been a long 6 years getting to this point. Not all of it was easy, but not all of it was hard either. But 6 years is a long time to be working towards something. To keep pushing on. Muscling by. Praying your heart out. To look into the eyes of every single person that came through that line and to love them without even knowing them. I started tearing up. It was an awesome moment, that's for sure.


I'm not saying that everything is going to be rainbows and sunshine from here on out. In fact, I bet you a dime to a dollar that the battle lines are being drawn right now. I do know that the Gospel offends. I'm ok with that! The way I see it, if your doing something right, it will be tuff. When it's easy, that's when you should be worrying. I mean God open's the doors but He doesn't force us to walk through them. We still have to show up and do our part, and that ends up being work. I think a lot of churches have forgotten that. They are looking for easy, they have gotten soft. I think that's one of the reason's the UM church is in the mess it's in right now. We haven't done the hard work that is required of Kingdom work. Have you ever been on a easy mission trip? If it's easy, they call that a vacation! OMP, that's a hard working mission group of people right there. Our youth just got back and they are wiped out. Jesus work isn't for the wimpy at heart. Just listen to the news, we are under attack! So you might as well get ready people. It's time to get real, or stay home. Me, I'm rolling up my sleeves, putting on a ball cap and leaning in big time! Anybody with me?        

Busy?

Preacher man got home yesterday. I'm pretty happy that I didn't go to Annual Conference, cuz I would be sitting there thinking about what I could be getting done here. This is an example of what I've been getting done. I am starting to wonder, maybe I should have put this off a week? Naw! 


Went and got more boxes at The Creek and delivered some pesto to Nancy, who was pretty excited about it. I hate to get rid of all of it, but I don't think it's going to stay frozen after we unplug the freezer.


I'm washing everything I can get my hands on. The washer and dryer will be leaving tomorrow. I'm coming to a point where I feel like everything we have collected during our marriage has been sold off. You don't think you have attachment issues, get rid of some of your stuff and then talk to me!


The vet called yesterday to let us know that Yazi's remains were ready to be picked up. Some of you might think we're strange, but when you don't have kids, your animals mean the world to you. Sam and Gracie are still in every room I'm in. I walk out of the shower and Sam is laying outside the door. Gracie even wants to go out in the garage with me. 


The excitement of a new place is getting bigger in my sights, and the sadness that comes at leaving a place you've called home is also getting real. I find that I have an awesome peace about all of this every so often. Yet, at the same time, my heart is heavy with missed opportunities and friendships. God calls us to live in the moment, to be here and now. We are so good at running ahead, or falling behind, that we can forget to just be. It's hard to stand here and be ok with being right here, right now. We came here with such high hopes, so much excitement to be out of seminary and in ministry. It was all about what we were going to do. In the end, we didn't do a thing. God did to us a number though that won't soon be forgotten! Isaiah 66:2 says, But this is the one to whom I will look, to the humble and contrite in spirit who trembles at my word. It's been a long two years, but I think I get it now. It's about what we allow God to do in us, even if we aren't in a great and wonderful place, what we are willing to die to so that we can live fuller in Christ. Dying can be a messing thing, it has been for me, but the fullness of Christ living in my now, well, you can't beat that with a stick!  

Things!

I find things pretty fascinating sometimes don't you? What things, you may ask. Well, life things I guess. 


For starters, I think animals are a lot smarter than we give them credit. Yazi being gone has created a hole in our little family/herd and it came out in a sweet way last night. Yazi had this red blanket that he laid on at night as we sat on the couch. Since the selling of the couch, it has taken a spot between Preacher man and I on the floor. Let me say again, this was Yazi's blanket. No one else has ever even thought about using it. Last night, Sam walked up to it, smelled it an laid down on it, just like that. Yazi's cat box was in my bathroom, on the tile floor which Gracie love's to lay on during the summer. Yesterday while I was blow drying my hair, Gracie came into the bathroom, looked at where the box use to be, laid down in front of that spot, and let out the biggest sigh. I believe they both know he's gone and they miss him. 


Another fascinating thing are plans and how silly they are sometimes. We planned on taking the Chevy to Sherwood on Thursday, didn't happen. We planned on Lois taking care of the herd while we were at Annual Conference, she fell a few weeks back and is just now getting out of the house, so needless to say, she ain't herd sitting. We planned on this dude named John to come by yesterday to learn how to take care of the herd, he was a no show. So the plan changed and I am staying at home to herd sit and Preacher man is going to AC without me. Poor guy, he'll be so bored without me there.


My last fascinating thing for the day has got to be list's! I asked Preacher man before he left what he wanted me to do while he was gone. I know what your thinking, Crazy woman, why did you do that?! I know right! Anyway, here's what the list looks like:

Wash dog beds

Walmart

Sam's

Pack Kitchen

Pack jewelry

Clean out freg

Pesto to June and Nancy

Check out freezer to see what goes

Is that crazy or what? Can you tell where Preacher man started getting involved? I'll give you a hint, right after Sam's! If I get all this done before he get's back on Wednesday, I might blow something up! Who know's,  may not even take a shower!

So these are the life things that fascinate me today. I'm pretty sure that I'll have a new list tomorrow, or maybe a revamped list of today. Either way, I bet a dime to a dollar, not all of this is getting done.

Monday Monday!!!

1/2 of the Yard Sale

Holy Moly Batman! What a weekend of craziness! It's a dadgum good thing I don't have a real job! We moved the couch, chairs' and ottomans' out in the driveway for our sale on Saturday. If you look hard enough, you can see the furniture in the shade. By the end of the day, we had dropped the price so low, and still no buyers. Then we moved it back into the garage and this young couple pulled into the driveway. Long story short, they came with cash on Sunday for the couch and chair. We also are giving them this huge deal on my washer and dryer. We dropped the price, I keep it until we move. Hoping that's a deal. The long and short of it is, we sold everything but 3 small boxes! Gave a lot away, but the important thing is we aren't going to have to move it!

This is now what our living room looks like! So if you come to visit, you better bring a chair to sit on!

This is what the garage looked like after the furniture left. The sad thing is, it never stays that way for long. Preacher man climbed into the attic to get down the stuff from up there. Found 3 boxes of crap we should have sold, all my Christmas stuff, cut glass, moving boxes and other odds and ends. 

 This is now what's in that clean corner! The garage has now turned into what Preacher man is calling the staging area. We are really getting serious about all this! 


Mom and Dad will be coming up Thursday to help us with a flying trip to get the Bike and Chevy down to Sherwood. My plants, or most of them, will be making the trip and my plant setter, Rachel will be in charge of not killing them! 


Got my toes done today and go to the dang Endocrinologist this afternoon. Trip to Roaring River to spend the afternoon with Pat and dinner with Janice and Bob tomorrow. Followed by dinner with Anne on Wednesday, then Mom and Dad show up on Thursday, while I go see Sister Rachel in Ft Smith. Flying trip to Sherwood Friday and a Natural's game on Saturday! Next week we head to Ft Smith for Annual Conference, which I'm sure will be a thrill a minute. 


All this to say, my postings maybe strange until we get down to Sherwood for good. I find it insane that we have been here for 2 years and now people want to have dinner or lunch with us! (except Anne) 

On a sad note, this might be Yazi's last week here. He is existing, but that's about it. Preacher man is being the strong one and the smart one about this, cuz Lord knows I could keep him alive for another year or 2. It's about quality not quantity. He has been a great cat for 15 years.  

Do you Linger?

What does it mean to linger? Looked it up and found: To remain or stay on in a place longer than is usual or expected, as if from reluctance to leave. Do you find that you ever do this lingering thing? Just staying a little longer after the show is over. You know when the credits roll after a movie? Sometimes those are the best missed shots of the whole thing! I have sat through shows before that moved me so much that I found I could not leave.


Do we ever do that after a church service? I mean really? Has it ever so moved you that you just sat there, not listening to your stomach, but just trying to take more of it in? We are so busy with our own lives and filling them, that we don't take the time to linger, maybe ever.


I find that I'm lingering lately. We will roll out of the driveway at 3903 W. Olive in 25 days. Something that I have waited a long time for! Yet I find that I'm lingering in the time left. I'm saying yes to lunches, even on short notice because I want to sit with these people. I'm looking at the yards when I run pass them in the mornings and if someone is out there, I say Good morning! I'm looking people in the eye and smiling at them, in order to remember them maybe.


These two years have been my deepest growing to date. I have learned about abiding, lingering, waiting, being, staying, and surrendering. I have immersed myself in the stillness of God and what he has in mind when he says Be still and know and it has been amazing. 


It could have only happened here, in this place that didn't see me, didn't really care what I had to offer. I was seen by a few, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't what I thought it was going to be and now, I'm glad. I have grown so much because of it. My root have gone so deep, but you can't tell from what stands above the ground. 


So I linger. I remember and hold close to my heart who was here for me, how I was treated, what true hospitality looked like, and I smile. Not because God is good, because he is, but because this was His plan all along! So I will linger for a few more days in the glow of what He showed me, that could have only happened here.  

What are you Willing...

Wow! It rained! We got 9/10's which is as close to an inch as it gets. My heart wanted to go for a run, but my legs are needing that rest/recovery time. When I ran yesterday it was 74 at 6:00, today it's already 70 at 9:00 but it seems cooler. That is until that sun gets up there higher in the sky and drives the humidity up! 


I had a come to Jesus meeting this morning with Me, Myself and I. I was glad everyone could make it, though Me was not paying attention like she should have been! Myself called the meeting because she was unset with the bad self talk and depressing attitude that seems to be going around lately. All three were very vocal on their feelings and why they were full of negative self talk, with the move and all, who can blame them?


And Jesus! Sister Rachel said when you say "But Jesus", you limited him. When you say "And" it's like, what's next!? So, And Jesus took the floor and asked really only one question... What are you willing to do about it? Me, Myself and I looked at each other and waited to see who would speak first, but no one did. They just sat there and thought.

Chocolate eclair cake!  

How often do we find ourselves is a situation that we aren't happy about and all we do is cry about it. I'm fat, and don't fit into any of my clothes!
What are you willing to do about it?
I'm stressed out, and no one is doing their part!
What are you willing to do about it?


See, I think we deal with this at two different spots.
1. The self defeating, give up. 
2. Work harder than ever, make it happen. 
Both are all about us and what we can do or can't do. So how's that been working for you? Me, Myself and I...not so well! I believe both of these thoughts are what keep us stuck in our spots. Giving up, doesn't help anyone and only makes those around you want to shoot you. Making it happen, cuts all the other people out of the process and only makes those around you want to shoot you.


So, What are you willing to do about it? Well, today I'm going to drink more water, eat a huge salad for lunch, and keep my corn hole shut with negative talk. Tomorrow I'll do my second run of the week followed by another day of rest. I remember it didn't take 6.4 days for me to get in this shape. 


Me, Myself and I are satisfied with this list of things and will call a meeting in a week or two to see who things are going. Jesus smiles, See you then!  


  

Stuff

I'm finding that I'm in the mood to trash it! In going through the "stuff" and preparing to pack, wait, how do you prepare to pack? You either do it or you sit down in the sun on the back porch and think about it. Now that's settled. 


Two years ago, when we were packing and yard-selling, I could not bring myself to trash much. I mean, we did sell what seemed like a lot of stuff, yet we moved a lot of stuff too. Now, I'm going through the same stuff, looking at Preacher man and saying things like, I haven't seem this in 2 years! Why do I still have that? Why am I keeping these? Who does this belong to? I can't even pull those over my thighs! Which I think concretes that saying that someone smarter than me came up with, If you haven't worn it in two years, pitch it! 


It's so true! We hold on to stuff way past it's drop off date, and I'm trying to figure out why. My Grands holding onto stuff, I understood (now, anyway) having grown up in the depression, but me? Is it in our genes? Are we programed to stock pile? 


I really have no excuses, being raised in the military and moving ever three years. The funny thing about that, is I thought for a long time that everyone moved like we did. That Daddy held on to my blanket, or what's left of it, is to tell you where I get my holding on to things from, cuz if it get's dust on it, Momma is throwing it out!


I think we hold on because we don't trust. We have such a small amount of faith in such a huge God, so we think we have to provided for ourselves. God let's us, don't get me wrong. He will let us hold on to whatever it is that's giving us comfort, I think mainly cuz he loves us so. But if your closet is so stickin' full you can't get another thing in it, how are you going to stay on the cutting edge of fashion? You know as well as I do, that some of that stuff very well may come back into style, but are you going to be the same size when it does?


When our hands are holding on to "stuff", when the blessings come, they just roll off the pile. Think about that for a minute...God gives you a blessing...and you let it fall to the ground...cuz your hands are full..of..your stuff. We just don't think about it that way, but it's how I think it works. Our hands can only hold so much, our day is only 24 hours long, you can only pay attention for so long. It's like when the ground is flooded and the down pour comes, there's nowhere for it to go, but down the road to a drier place. 


Seek to be that dry and thirsty place. Open your hands, your closets, your pantry and get that stuff out of there! Make room for blessings to come into your life. We don't really need all that stuff, we hold onto it cuz we're scared that God won't provide. Fear. That is something that doesn't come from God!           

Shock!

Buell

I think I'm still in a state of shock. I was able to ride a motorcycle! AND pass the driving test! Got to do the written one tonight, but the big shocker came when I put my feet on those pegs and it was me and that crazy, don't want to run right, Buell! Now, it's like I told my Momma, I ain't ready to get on I-540 for probably, like, ever! but I got on that thing and rode it! I now have a totally new respect for driving in general, and will be looking for motorcycles in a whole new way. 


I'm thinking that's how God deals with us sometimes too. He teaches us something new and then watches to see if we really get. That's what has been going on with me lately. I've learned so much these past two years, and now God is watching to see if I really learned the lesson. 


Do you ever have that happen to you? You learn something, understand the importance of it, only to be tempted to revert back to the good ole way of dealing with it. This has been my time to revert, but I've been so busy paying attention to how to ride a motorcycle, that I haven't had the time to respond in like manner. So just this morning I got it, so to speak.


See, I really can't help anybody. If you don't want to be helped, hear the truth or be changed, I just don't have much for you. Jesus is who changed my life. Not self-help books, even though I've read my share of them. Not friends or family, even though some have stood in the gap for me. When I did get help, I tried to tie it to a person, but the Godly ones knew and passed on the praise to the real healer. 


My thinking is we all need help, healing, and understanding. We need someone to show us the correct way to do something, and it always helps if they know more than we do. 


I have learned so much these past two years in Rogers that I would not, nor could not have learned anywhere else. I was brought into a unfamiliar place and it was nothing like I had expected. In thinking back, I was probably warned by spiritual mentors, but I was going to be different! I was different, so different that I really didn't required a second glance. This put me in a place spiritually where I needed to be to become a spiritual director, and grow into this person that I'm just now getting to see.


I'm more than I was two years ago, heck, I'm more than I was Saturday before I got on that Buell and rode! I know who has all the answers to the questions. It took me two years in exile to be able to hear the answers, but I'm hearing them now, and I can't wait to see what the next chapter brings in help, healing and understanding. The more I learn, the more He shows me. That's why this life is a marathon and not a sprint.          

Narrow Road

Wow! I really get blown away by God when I sit down and think about it. He, like, so has it all together and I so like, don't! I am rolling on the floor amazed at God today that is for sure! 

I'm thinking back on my life as it was, say about 20 yeas ago. For those of you who didn't know me than, just know that God was protecting you. For those of you who did, Bless you hearts! I bought into the lie that more was better! By golly, if it was out there, I needed it, or at least wanted it! I had rooms full of the stuff I had to have, the stuff that made my life complete! When it came time to move, I just moved it all with me. 


The problem is, we can't grow in our spiritual walk if our hands are already full! When we hold on for dear life to our stuff, God can't gifted us with what He wants to give us. Well, He can, but we don't get it, or can't take it cuz we have too much we are holding on to. Let me tell you from experience, it all can be justified too! I might get back into those size 6 pants! Those tee shirts from 1983 still mean a lot to me! I am holding onto those grudges and hurt feelings because if I let them go, who will remember? 


Bottom line, God is not going to rip that stuff out of our hands, it's not how he operates. For me, He showed me the narrow road. I looked at my stuff, and than at the road... it was not going to fit. So slowly, I started to drop a few things, and I didn't die! In fact it started to feel pretty good. As I was getting room in my hands, God dropped a blessing or two and I was able to hold on to it! Then He asked me if He could have the grudges and hurt feelings! What!? What are you going to do with them? Rain down fire burning hail on the people that caused them? Can I watch? I'm going to take it away so you can heal. What? I'm fine! Won't you give that to me? 


That's when it started really happening for me, the narrow way became the way of choice! My burden and my load is so much lighter than it was. My healing and recovery is so much bigger than I thought it ever could be, and the coolest part is I can walk beside you and show you it can be done in your life too. There is a light heartedness to my life now. I have an emptiness in my hands, a ego that has shrunk down to a proper size and a humble receptiveness to my heart! It's awesome, and there is so much less to move!    

Stillness

Something I think we all find hard to do, or at least challenging, is being still. It's so hard to just be still, isn't it? We have a ton of things that need to be done, and people we need to see, food to pick up and cleaning that should be done. I have found a few things challenging this week and one of them was being ok with being still.


I find it easy to keep the boob tube off until about 6:00 in the evening. The quite from just me and the herd is pretty quite. I wouldn't say that it's driving me crazy, but it is different. I find that I'm seeing more and hearing deeper. I get the sense that God wants us to hear him more often but we just don't give him the chance. We don't turn things off! Some will say they need the noise to keep them from going crazy. I would suggest that is just an excuse. The noise keeps us from hearing and thinking deeply. I would go so far as to say we fear the silence. 


I remember when we lived in Hawaii and I was about 7 or 8, I got to have a room of my very own for my birthday. Now the crazy part about this, so did my sister and she got her own room at a younger age than I did! ANYWAY, I had shared a room with my sister for my whole life, all 7 or 8 years and there are certain things that you just get use to when you share a room with someone. The sounds for one thing become something you almost rely on. There was safety there and comfort from that safety. When I got my own room, it was strange and had weird sounds and I wasn't all that comfortable nor did I feel safe! So what did I do? I got a radio and I turned it on so I would have some noise to feel comfortable by. It gave me something to listen to so I wouldn't have to listen to the silence.  


So silence is something that I am learning to enjoy. By nature or birth, I'm a loud person, however, I'm getting a little quieter lately and I'm finding that I'm ok with it. I am finding that God fills all the area's that we will allow him to fill, even the silence. He is closer than your very breath, if you will but listen for him.       

Organized...Not!

Packed Boxes! By Me!

I have a confession to make, I'm not very organized, like at all! I know this might throw some of you into a hysterical fit of laughter, but it is so true. If it weren't for Preacher man, I would, well, I don't know, sit around and get nothing done?


Preacher man left this morning for a mission trip in Rio Bravo, Mexico. The group is from our Northwest District and I believe there are 15 of them going. They will be building a school, a process that different mission teams are doing at different times during the year. It has done my heart good to see him get excited about doing mission work again. However, this is the first mission trip that I haven't been able to go with him and I going to veto this ever happening again!


Now, on with my lack of organizational skill. Last week, I packed 3 boxes, all by myself! I even have proof! OK, that's only 2 or the 3, but I really did 3! Here's is how these 3 boxes got packed. I sat down in from of a book shelf in the spare bedroom. This book shelf has my books on it and some notebooks that I filled up in seminary. Oh, I love books and some of these I had forgotten about and had to go flipping through them and the notebooks. An hour later I texted Preacher man and said, Houston, I have a problem! Preacher man replied, Put down the books and just pack the top shelf in the closet! Closet? Oh, yeah, I see that, OK! See, I have issues, but at least I know about them. I need direction and a set goal placed before me and I can get it done. Left to myself, I get side tracked and follow Alice down the rabbit hole! So people, when I say I've got 3 boxes done, it cause for celebration!

Now, I have all week to pack boxes! So, I walk into the room and I look around. I nod my head and I take a drink of coffee. I walk out to the garage to get a box and come back in and walk out to the porch and see that I need to fill the feeder and change the bird bath water. The dogs need rubbing and I sit down to enjoy the morning. The birds are singing up a storm this morning and as I look up at the trees to check the progress of their leafing, I see squirrels jumping from tree to tree! I love to just watch them...Crap!!! I was doing something wasn't I? I get up and get back in the house, and think on my way to the room, I should check emails before I get involved with this project. 


Pray for me!
       

Leap Day!

Today is that day that only comes around every 4 years, so what are you going to do different today? I was reading Seth Godin's blog and he had some pretty good idea's, so I thought I'd share.


Forgive, forget, relax, care, stand out, speak up, contribute, embrace, create, make a ruckus, give credit, skip, smile, or speak the truth in love.
Just pick one and do it today. I want to warn you, you may enjoy it and it could turn into a habit!

So why is this day different? From what I know without a lot of research, this day was added by Julius Caesar way back in his day. The strange thing that happens on this day is women ask men to marry them aka Sadie Hawkins Day.   If you need to know more, you can always Google it.


This is also Preacher man's last day of vacation, which I think always goes by too stickin' fast. We might go to a baseball game or Crystal Bridges don't really know as yet. 


My last days at the Creek are fast approaching, like tomorrow and Friday. It will be yet again a time for me to figure out without driving everyone around me crazy. Mom doesn't think this will last, cuz I've always worked. I've been thinking about that lately and believe that knot in me is starting to come loose. I have always thought that, I was who I was because of what I did. I am seeing that just ain't so! 

I am a beloved child of the most high God! He does not love me more because I sell clothes anymore than he loves me less when I feed the hungry. What I do is not who I am! Who I know and who has control of my life, Jesus, is who I am know for. 


I am giving up my day job to spend more time with Jesus and to listen in a different way to what he is calling me to. I am to be a help mate to Preacher man, which by the way is fun, even if it has long hours. I am to be! I am to live out of my true self, not the gal that I've made up along the way. I have more questions than answers, but I'm thinking thats how we learn, by askin the hard ones.  

50!

From an early age we are taught to celebrate our life and it all starts with our birthday! We half expect everyone to know it's our special day because we have a certain glow about us that comes from getting a year older, I guess! Now with Facebook, before I even got out of bed and got on the computer I had 31 birthday wishes. It's become so easy to be present in others lives without actually being there. I find that cool and sad all at the same time! 


I still believe that cards should come on your birthday, either by mail or hand. It's easy enough to count backwards so the thing shows up on time, or even early! We just don't take the time to be that personal anymore. I find that very sad.


So what do I do about it? I don't know, really what can you do about it? You hang on to the people close to you, you make a difference in their life and let them know they matter in yours. You take the time to do things that are important, while you can. I'm 50 today! That blows my mind on so many levels I get dizzy thinking about it. I've lived more life than I have left! I have deeper friendships than ever before and in all honesty, I'm really looking forward to the 50's. Someone said they were the new 30's and I have no idea what that means. I don't want to do the 30's again! The 40's were growth for me and I'm hoping to step out in a new and different way of being, in the 50's! 


We are leaving to go to Big Red Sir Cedar today and we have wounds to heal and plans to make. Life just keeps going. I have the privilege to be married to a man that spoils the breath out of me and I love it and him! I am becoming wiser with my years and know that's how God planned it. 


People matter, birthday's are but once a year, and life get's shorter the longer your around. Live the life God gave you with purpose and convection! Don't have reasons in your life to say your sorry, but when they come along, be the first to say it! Thanks for sharing in my life! Happy My Birthday to you!

Be

I was going through my morning, like I usually do, when I can across something that made me smile. Now the reason it made me smile is because it brought back a memory that gave me cause to stop and know that I am seen. Not just when I want to be seen, but really seen and held dear to the heart of God. I have a friend that said I was like the Skin Horse in the Velveteen Rabbit. I had never read the book, so they found one at the Peg retreat I was at and I read it. It still brings tears to my eyes.
The Velveteen Rabbit
At times, I feel that I have an old soul, one that knows more than it should at this stage of my life. I see that God is meeting me right where I am, daily! The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius compare nicely with the Skin Horse.
God is calling us all to BE. To be real and authentic and to let go of the stuff that isn't really us, it's of the world. It's hard cuz we all want to be liked, loved, special and really the best at whatever we do. We need to stop at the word be. Just like we need to read over and over again the words 
Be Still and know that I am God !
Be Still and know! 
Be Still!
Be!