Decisions?

Sometimes I find it incredibly difficult to make decisions. Let me clarify that statement. I can help you make decisions all day long, but for me, holy moly you'd think the world depended on what I pick. Are you like that? Or am I just some strange anti-decision making person? 

Heres my reasoning behind the difficulty... Fear. 

Bottom line...I don't want to disappoint God. I don't want to run full steam ahead of Him, and I for sure don't want to be caught sitting on my butt! So I let fear creep in and set up camp and I'm preoccupied with my fear of disappointing God.

I think, 7 times out of 10, we make the right decision. Mainly, because we want to do what's right. But I'm thinking we can have 10 out of 10. When we look back over our lives and the decisions made, even the ones we call wrong, made us what we are today in order to make the decisions that need to be made at this time. 

I've been trying to make a decision based on who I was 10 years ago. I am not who I was 10 years ago! I have grown from the decisions I've made no matter if they were good or bad. 

I have no idea what the out come of this decision is going to be. I've done it once, I'm hoping I can do it again. I know more this time around and I also know that satan isn't happy about this at all! 

But here's the deal: Is God calling you to more? More of Him, more of you? 
Is He wooing you to walk closer to Him through this time of trial?
Is there a thirst that is growing inside your soul? 

Yea, me too. I'm doing something about it. 
I'm saying yes to this calling again! 
I'm not who I was, I'm changed. 
I'm enough.

What decisions are you making?


 

Bumps in the Road.

It happens every summer, or maybe I should say that it happens almost every summer. We get a "Summer song!" Now, I know we are still in the strong holds of winter, but we have found our summer song! It's new but I'm sure if you love Despicable Me as much as I do, you have heard this song! 

Click Here!

It's Happy by Pharrell Williams and it's also the song from Despicable Me 2. Hearing this song makes me flat out happy! Preacher man and I downloaded it last night, and danced ourselves silly! You can not listen to this song and not be changed!

We should have things like this song in our lives to help us get over the bumps in the road. I don't want things in my life that halfway work, or show up for part time involvement. If I need help, I want help. No messing around! 

Right now, I believe I'll be listening to a lot of this song! Where we are right now is where the rubber hits the road, and it's hard. In all honesty, I don't think any of this journey is going to be a cake walk. Seems like the more you trust God, the more you need to trust God. Dah! 

Discernment is work, and it's work that requires all of you, and it wears you out. I feel like everyday, we start over again from scratch. I look at the insurmountable barriers that lay between us and a church plant… and I gasp. It's enough to make you take that job just so some money is coming in, even though you know that's not what is required. 

We are reopening A Workman Services. She has laid dormant for 7 years, while we were learning combat tactics. This is by no means the way we planned any of this ministry to happen…But God! We are grateful for His plan for our life. 

We are also in the process of discerning what our ministry is going to look like. It's crazy, really it is. How many people do you know that do this kinda stuff? We talk about listening to God and going where He leads, even if it's uncomfortable. So here we are.

So here's the deal: You gotta have things in your life that help get you over the bumps in the road. God has given us the ability to be moved by music. When you need some help over the bump that's appeared in the road, find that song, that summer song, and dance your feet off friend! There is a plan, you just aren't in charge!     

Oasis in the Valley!

Libby Landing on the Little Red

We have decided to call this place Oasis in the Valley, what do you think? Our reasoning is pretty simple; the name of our Non-profit is Oasis Ministries in Arkansas and we are living in the Valley. (It makes me think that rocket science can't be all that hard! Or is it brain surgery?) It's a lot shorter than Oasis Ministries in Arkansas on the Little Red River in the Valley! I'm lost just writing that much down!

Preacher man is out with Dad getting a load of firewood. We are going to have a few days of crazy cold weather for Arkansas, like lows in the 7's! So I informed the birds they needed to eat up and that I would not forget to put out the black seeds that they love so much! The weather service said we might receive some snow. I loved reading this, "Temperatures are expected to drop quickly and be significantly colder than this area has experienced in several years." Oh yeah, yet again the Workman's bring dramatic weather wherever we go!

When we moved from Rogers to Sherwood, the church didn't have anywhere to store their lovely furniture, so we had to sell ours. Hence, we now have make shift furniture. The pillows you see to the right is the couch. We have lawn chairs we are also using and when we have friends over, the chairs give the place a "I still live in a frat house" feel!

Needless to say, we are making progress on the unpacking and settling in. I just have to stop doing it ever now and then or I'm going to give away everything that doesn't fit in a place!

There have been interviews and chalk tests, yet we still feel God calling us to ministry. Do we know what it looks like yet? No, not really, but we know who does! All we can really do is pray and walk through the doors that He opens. We know something special will be happening here at Oasis in the Valley and we look forward to that with great expectation!

Through all of this the one constant has been God with us! Emmanuel! It was the only way to get us out of the UMC so that we could be in real, true ministry. Truly, God called us out! We are at a place where our faith is growing and becoming deep. We are learning that good things do come to those who wait on God.

So if you need a place to go and BE, you are welcome here at Oasis in the Valley, aka Alex and Kim's place. We'll keep the fire going for you and feed you some homemade soup. 

Peace Out! 

Trials

The trials of life are sent to make us, not to break us.

~ Malthie D. Babcock

I came across this in my quiet time this morning and after it punched me in the stomach, it gave me cause to ponder… I don't know if I agree totally with the statement. Wait, yes I do.

What happens when you break? What comes to mind might be bones sticking out and blood going everywhere. But what happens when it's not physical? Or on the outside, so everyone can tell? So often we think that if your not bleeding, your not hurting. I mean, think about what we say to kids when they get hurt. Let me see, are you bleeding? No, your fine. Get back out there. Yet, maybe they are breaking inside. 

So how do we deal with this not breaking during the trials of life? Well, for me, I produce way too much acid for my stomach to handle, I don't sleep through the night (been up since 12:30 and it's 4 now), I loose weight then gain it right back and I seem to cry during the strangest programs on TV. But the question is, is this breaking me?

I believe that IF the evil one has his way, yes, it will break me. But when I think about God growing me, making me, so to speak, I see this as a test, aka trial. Maybe not just like Job, but so dang close it's scary at times. I haven't lost everything like he did and I'm not sitting in ashes with sores all over me, but let me tell you, it feels like it sometimes.

I have come to a point where I can't be like them anymore. 

Years ago (it just seems like a few days ago), I could let myself fall back into default mode. You know what I'm taking about? I'm going to get all up in your face and kick the living shit out of you! If I can't do that, then I'm going to secretly sabotage you. (I think I might have been a bully when I was in high school, at times anyway. This is not news that thrills me, but I am about being real, and I have warned you about that!)

So, what's different now? Well, I think it's about letting God make me into a new creation without letting myself break back into what I know, my default mode. Let me tell you, for an extraverted, strong willed, might have had tendencies to be a bully, this is hard stuff!

Just when I think I'm at the breaking point, I read something, or someone calls with a kind word. I want to kick and spit, but that's not who God wants me to be. It maybe where they are, but I don't have to wallow in their crap with them. 

Save me, O God,

for the waters have come up to my neck.

~ Psalm 69:1

  

Grace

 ~ My Grace is sufficient for you ~

2 Cor. 12:9

And nothing but the great trials and dangers we have experienced would ever have led some of us to know Him as we do, to trust Him as we have, and to draw from Him the great measure of His grace so indispensable during our times of great need. 

Difficulties and obstacles are God's challenges to our faith. When we are confronted with hindrances that block our path of service, we are to recognize them as vessels for faith and then to fill them with the fullness and complete sufficiency of Jesus.

~ Nov 15th devotional from Streams in the Desert, by L.B. Cowman

Does that sound awesome? I'm trying to answer that question myself. I mean, it explains a lot to me right now, it really does. Somewhere down deep though, I just want to spit!

But God…

Your grace God, not my understanding of the situation. 

Your grace God, to help me let go.

Do you remember jumping off the diving board for the first time? Daddy was treading water under the board, ready to save me. But I had to be the one to take the step.

In one of Indiana Jones movies, he's come to the un-passable abyss. He stuck his foot out into nothingness and as he did, the stone to step on appeared.

We keep going, it's just what we do. Your grace God! Your grace!

Faith in Action

The chain fell off Lilies bike, or something tragic like that, and she's having to ride the three wheeler till the bike get's fixed. I believe she was going for the rickshaw look here. She was holding the umbrella under her chin, trying to keep it over her head without falling off the bike. I suggested sticking it down the back of her pants. The handle wasn't long enough so the umbrella was sitting on her head. Needless to say, she kept on riding the bike and singing some song I couldn't make out.

Sometimes, that exactly what faith in action looks like. It can start off by a challenging mishap that throws you a little off your game. Lily just learned how to ride a bicycle this summer. Before that, she was on this three wheeled contraption. The girl can flat out ride that three wheeler! But as most of you know, the turning radius and freedom of movement is greater on a bicycle. Our mishap happened (chain fell off bike) and we kept on going, finding something else (three wheeler) to help us with our goal (riding and singing).

While our faith is in action and we are doing our thing, feeding the hungry, loving on children, helping out at the local shelter, another road block jumps up and try's to derail us. It starts to rain! 

It is much easier to drop everything and run screaming into the house, as if the rain is melting us into the asphalt. Noticing an umbrella, and a red one at that, lying by the door was the perfect boost to our faith in action. This red umbrella comes in many forms. The Bible, a friends phone call, a nap, someone else with the same goals and road blocks. It helps us get back out there.

So, have you ever road a bike with an umbrella? I know, me too, but do you remember the first time you did it? Not real graceful huh? But you kept at it, trying things like sticking the umbrella under your chin, finding someone else to help you at the shelter, loving those kids anyway!

It looked so good in our mind when we thought about it. Riding a bike and singing a song. How did it get this messed up? Wrong bike, bad weather, ungraceful feeling...I mean, come on!

When we let go of what our picture looks like, and when we allow our faith to carry us into action, we need to remember who brought us to this place to begin with and we need to keep peddling.

Have you ever rode a bike in the rain and the joy over flowed in you until you burst out into song? Or walked, or ran or drove in the rain? 

Faith is action, it's like that. It's the action that keeps on going even when the picture changes some. It's showing up, even when you think your going to melt into the asphalt or your not feeling very graceful. Next thing you know, joy jumps in your basket and your off singing that song that no one else in the whole world knows the words to.  

       

Faith

Faith of the head or faith of the heart? Which one do you foster in your life? I think for me, it started with faith of the head. I don't know when it really happen, that I had the Nicene Creed memorized, but over years of saying it every Sunday, it got into my head and I knew what I believed even if I didn't know why. This is faith as belief. My head knows what it believes, it knows what is true. 

This has sorta messed with me as of late. Is it important to God what I believe in my head? As if 'believing the right things' is what God is most looking for, as if having the correct belief will save us. Believing the right things doesn't do a whole lot to bring about a changed live now does it? Look at it this way, you can believe the right thing and still be in bondage to sin, still be miserable, still be relatively unchanged, with very little transforming power.

What does faith of the heart look like? Marcus Borg in The Heart of Christianity, describes three qualities of faith that are rooted in the heart instead of the head.

Faith that comes from the heart is characterized by trust. To have implies a radical trust in God, a willingness to rely on God as "our support, our foundation and ground, as our safe place.

It's also characterized by fidelity or faithfulness. It's like the the faith we have with our spouse's; we believe that person will be faithful in their relationship to us. This kind of faith means loyalty, allegiance, the commitment of one's self at the deepest level.

Faith that is rooted in the heart is characterized by a positive vision of the world. We tend to see reality as life-giving and nourishing. To live in faith requires a radical centering of our lives in God which leads to a deepening trust that transforms the way we see and live our lives.  

Think on that for a little bit. I'll try to remember to talk about what I think faith rooted in heart looks like tomorrow. I'll give you a hint; it looks like action in service.

Stuck

How many times in your life have you been stuck? I mean any kind of stuck. Stuck in a jam, traffic, in the mud, on a problem, in a relationship, you know, stuck! Do you know that one of the main things that keeps us stuck is fear? Fear of failure, change, success, you name it and we got fear about it! What is the one thing that we say when you realize we have said fear? We say we're going to work on that, don't we? Here's my question to you if you are nodding your head... How in the world do you do that?

I find that I work too stinkin' hard on stuff that I shouldn't even be messing with! Look at fear, what does God say about fear? It ain't  from Him!!! So who would it be that brings us this lovely fear? That's right, the evil one! So if we are holding on to fear, what are we really holding on to?

Here's the deal: When we let go, when we choose, when we risk, we just might find that we are braver than we ever thought possible and stronger than we would have guessed. Why is that? Maybe because we are letting go, choosing, risking it all and that would require wholeheartedness on our part. Cuz you can't let go just some, that's called holding on. What if we were to enter into life fully, all in, all or nothing...ready to be surprised, forgiven, loved, trusted, to engage, to add to someone's life, to be counted on to forgive ourselves and move on? What if?

BUT IT"S SCARY!!! I know dear heart, it is. But the pure glory of it all, of letting go and surrendering, gives you this freedom, this lightness, that you will want again and again. 

I'm so done with workin hard at stuff I have no business workin at. I'm ready to risk, I'm ready to run through the flowers of life and smell everything I can get my hands on! 

I want to think again of dangerous and noble things.
I want to be light and frolicsome.
I want to be improbably beautiful and afraid of nothing,
as though I had wings! ~ Mary Oliver

Don't you want to come too?  

Wide Place

Once a month I get the privilege of talking with my Spiritual Director. He would rather be called a Spiritual Guide, and I get that! God is the real Director and we just walk beside each other pointing out things. I am constantly blown away at how God uses other people to speak to me. Let me give you an example.

I'm doing something I've never done before, I'm truly being a Preacher's wife, in the all and nothing that it entails. My main thing is to take care of the Preacher, his home and all that goes with that, which includes mowing the yard, watering everything I can get my hands on and cooking meals, blah, blah, blah. I wasn't made this way, or maybe I should say I wasn't raised this way. Yet, maybe I was, I say that because I have the skills to do all that I just named and they had to come from somewhere! 

Two weeks ago, Preacher man told me he wanted a prayer team. I straighten up and took note of what he might have in mind. That's up to you he told me. Now this is something I went to school for...So two ladies came to mind, I asked, they said yes, we have said prayer team. We came together for our first meeting and I was so excited I could have started a brush fire. These ladies really wanted to be in prayer for the church and I was lovin' it! When it came time to pray, I said I would start and close out, but for them to jump in there when ever they wanted to. At the end, I was the only one that prayed and my heart sank.

I told this to my Spiritual Guide and he asked me what was God saying to me through that? What came to me was that God is everywhere and with everyone at whatever place they find themselves. I want to experience what I experienced in prayer at Asbury! Yet, these people weren't at Asbury and shouldn't be held to my expectations of what prayer looks like. In fact, this is just what prayer should look like... two or more gathering and communing with the Holy one in the way that they know how!

My Guide asked where are you now? I am in a very wide place right now! I have been in a very confined, controlled place that didn't allow for me to experience any of this wideness of God. Those gates have been taken down and God is calling me out into a very wide place, that is so different from what I know that I'm flipping out. 

So my heart soars at the thought of meeting with the prayer team again and being with them and God in the way that fits us! This is a new place, and we are about new things. And you know what? It's good!       

Stretching

Life has a way of stretching us, have you noticed it? When we're being stretched, we think it's only us that is being pulled on in that way. I have found that when we share life with others, we find that we have either been pulled that way just days or weeks before, or look out, it's just down the road! 

Sometimes we are pulled to a breaking point and I have been thinking about that lately...why do we resist? What is so ingrained in us that we have to hold on with both hands as we are being ripped from end to end? It's crazy! It's painful and you know what else? It's usually where the growth comes from.

We all have anxiety in our life and we all deal with it in different ways. There is a large amount of our lives that are all about the uncertainty and what the future holds, and it can cause us to freeze, or break.

I have been waiting for years for someone important enough to notice me and my giftings. I have taken enough classes and spent enough time at the feet of great teachers to be one myself, however no one has seen that light that has been shining on me...not even me. Now Preacher man has and that's one of the reasons he sees me as a partner in ministry with him and not just the Preacher's wife. I do like hiding under that title though, it offers a great surprise factor!

I Skype Sister Rachel about starting on my Practicum. I had filled out all the forms and wrote down everything I've done and learned. She looked at me and asked the greatest question ever... What are you waiting on?

So I encourage you to stretch with life, there is probably a really good lesson behind it. Don't let it freeze you up or put you in a corner. Try bending a little, like the old trees in a wind storm. When they bend, they don't break so easily.   

Will of God

I came across something from Evenlyn Underhill today and I was so taken by it, I want to share it with you. This is where we find ourselves so many times trying to find God's will. Let me know what you think.

How are we to know, or find out, what the Will of God is? I do not think that any general answer can be given to this. In clear moral or political issues, we much surely judge and act by the great truths and demands of Christianity; and if we have the pluck to do this, then, as we act, more and more we shall perceive the direction of the Will. That choice, cause, or action, which is least tainted by self-interest, which makes for the increase of happiness - health - beauty - peace - cleanses and harmonizes life, must always be in accordance with the Will of the Spirit which is drawing life towards perfection. The difficulty comes when there is a conflict of loyalties, or a choice between two apparent gods. At such points many people fell unaware of any guidance, unable to discern or understand the signals of God; not because the signals are not given, but because the mind is too troubled, clouded and hurries to receive them. "He who is in a hurry," said St Vincent de Paul, "delays the things of God."


Those words from St Vincent de Paul really rocked my world today and I believe it's in light of Preacher man! 


I am the one that wants to take the bull by the horns and run with all the gusto of a crazy person being chased by said bull! At times, I have gotten my cart in front of the horse, and in rare occasions, there hasn't even been a horse to pull or push within miles! This is conflict of loyalties which ends up being my way verses the highway, with God being on the highway!


We get in such a hurry to have things done, completed and set right for all the world to see. We forget that God is still in the business of setting our cart in the right direction, with maybe a goat pulling instead of a horse pushing. We forget that He's been doing this for a lot longer than we have and in fact, has seen the likes of us all through history. Nothing really is new under the sun.


This get's back to being...surprise!! When we stop trying so hard and we let God be in control, things may take longer, but they are so much better!!


Peace out Friends!   

I did it!

I got an email from Sister Rachel today, of course it was after I sent her one telling her that I had passed my class and was now a certified Spiritual Director. What follows are her words to me:


Congratulations, Kim! You are one amazing woman. You remind me of St Mary Magdalen who went to the tomb to anoint Jesus' body; She had a passion to find Jesus and she hung around the empty cave until it happened. You have hung in the journey even when it felt empty and now look what you have for yourself. GREAT GOING.


To hear this from the woman who has walked beside me as my Spiritual Director for almost 2 years and who was my teacher through the spiritual exercises, well it meant a lot to say the least! 


The weekend was awesome on so many levels and yet I walked away feeling that I hadn't experienced what the others had. I think part of me got more than they did mainly cuz I've been through the spiritual exercises and Joe talked to that at a few points this weekend. 


See, I have been struggling lately, with so many things, and other peoples issues that I don't think I've really been hearing from God. Part of me hasn't really wanted to hear from him and part has been screaming out his name. The cool thing that Joe pointed out was that I wasn't depressed, (and I knew this) I was in desolation. Some of the words that describe desolation are: deprivation of companionship; loneliness; sorrow; grief; abandonment. Looking around me, I thought; Well of course, I have forgotten! 


The main difference between depression and desolation is you can feel the weight of depression. It's dark all the way through. There's no hope, joy or light...anywhere. Desolation is different because under it, is hope, joy...Jesus. I had not been abandoned by God! I had gone through the spiritual exercises and I was trying to make what had worked continue to work when I wasn't in the same place. God was opening the door for me again!

It has felt like I've been waiting at the empty cave for months. I'm still waiting, but I'm starting to see the light, to feel the hope and to know where my joy comes from. I'm a Certified Spiritual Director, and I'm pretty pumped about that!    

In-between

For those of you who have been following this blog for awhile, are my friends or just read to creep me, thanks for yesterday! Every now and then I snap! God is well aware of it and has dealt with me about it. I'm good and ready for something different to talk about today! In other words, it's safe to read on, you won't get anything on you! Maybe.

• Preacher man is heading home as I write. 
• The American Idol final party was fun times! Made even better that Philip Phillips won! Called that one! 
• Baby birds are starting to fly into the window, shutting blinds down some.
• Went for a run today and didn't die!

Found something interesting today and thought about it for awhile. I want to share it with you. Carl Jung said, If you get rid of the pain before you have answered its questions, you get rid of the self along with it. We all have to walk through pain. In this day and age, we are so over medicated for everything that we are popping a pill and watching as we float down the preverbal river. Why are we doing that? For me as a runner, when I feel pain, something is wrong and I need to check it out. I need to stop, survey, assess the situation and do what needs to be done. If I pop a pill to get rid of the pain, is it really gone? But I have changed, I have gotten rid of part of myself, the self that can learn from the pain.


We are so afraid to be in pain! When I pulled my hip flexor, I knew pain! A pain I couldn't get to in order to make it feel better. I remember when I played co-ed softball, I was a hell-of-a third baseman! Could use my body and glove to stop almost anything that came at me. Running though, I'm in it for the long haul, not the fast finish! WHEN I made it to first base, I was always so surprised! Preacher man use to call me Little Wheels, cuz I look like those charters that move their legs real fast, but never get anywhere. Anyway, I never wanted to go to second base. I didn't have the faith in my ability to get me there safely.


How often does this happen in our faith journey? We get safely to first and don't want to step out and run to second. We're safe and happy right where we are. To step out might cause us pain, or we could get thrown out! Yet, faith happens in the in-betweens, the interruptions, the thresholds, the pain. You've let go of one thing and haven't yet latched onto the other.


This is where Preacher man and I are living right now. This is also where some of my friends find themselves, in the in-between. If you aren't there right now, some pain or personal loss, even humiliation, will come across your path sooner or later. Will you justify staying on first base? Do you see what a surrender it is to step out there and head towards second? Only God can lead you on that path! If it's up to us, we are staying on first!


We need to, heck, we must listen to the questions that pain offers us. Then we can move through the pain, into truth and onto second base, with more faith that we left home with!


  

Stuff

I'm finding that I'm in the mood to trash it! In going through the "stuff" and preparing to pack, wait, how do you prepare to pack? You either do it or you sit down in the sun on the back porch and think about it. Now that's settled. 


Two years ago, when we were packing and yard-selling, I could not bring myself to trash much. I mean, we did sell what seemed like a lot of stuff, yet we moved a lot of stuff too. Now, I'm going through the same stuff, looking at Preacher man and saying things like, I haven't seem this in 2 years! Why do I still have that? Why am I keeping these? Who does this belong to? I can't even pull those over my thighs! Which I think concretes that saying that someone smarter than me came up with, If you haven't worn it in two years, pitch it! 


It's so true! We hold on to stuff way past it's drop off date, and I'm trying to figure out why. My Grands holding onto stuff, I understood (now, anyway) having grown up in the depression, but me? Is it in our genes? Are we programed to stock pile? 


I really have no excuses, being raised in the military and moving ever three years. The funny thing about that, is I thought for a long time that everyone moved like we did. That Daddy held on to my blanket, or what's left of it, is to tell you where I get my holding on to things from, cuz if it get's dust on it, Momma is throwing it out!


I think we hold on because we don't trust. We have such a small amount of faith in such a huge God, so we think we have to provided for ourselves. God let's us, don't get me wrong. He will let us hold on to whatever it is that's giving us comfort, I think mainly cuz he loves us so. But if your closet is so stickin' full you can't get another thing in it, how are you going to stay on the cutting edge of fashion? You know as well as I do, that some of that stuff very well may come back into style, but are you going to be the same size when it does?


When our hands are holding on to "stuff", when the blessings come, they just roll off the pile. Think about that for a minute...God gives you a blessing...and you let it fall to the ground...cuz your hands are full..of..your stuff. We just don't think about it that way, but it's how I think it works. Our hands can only hold so much, our day is only 24 hours long, you can only pay attention for so long. It's like when the ground is flooded and the down pour comes, there's nowhere for it to go, but down the road to a drier place. 


Seek to be that dry and thirsty place. Open your hands, your closets, your pantry and get that stuff out of there! Make room for blessings to come into your life. We don't really need all that stuff, we hold onto it cuz we're scared that God won't provide. Fear. That is something that doesn't come from God!           

Wait with Patience?

Do you wait with patience? Do you hate that question as much as I do? Why do you think it's so hard to wait anyway? When we're young we can't wait for Christmas, summer, our birthday or ice cream! When we're older, we can't wait for nap time, snack time, dinner time and bed time. Yet as we get older, time starts to pass faster and we find ourselves saying, "Wait for me!!" So how well do you wait and are you patience or do you fidget your way through it?


Here's a thought, how are you at waiting on God? We should be waiting with patience, but is that a passive waiting? I don't think so, if it was we would never get anything done. Waiting on God isn't like waiting on a bus, the rain to stop or bed time. It's being active to the fullest of our ability in order to see where God is. We should live every moment in active anticipation of finding God in our waiting.


Do you know that our word patience comes from the Latin verb patior which means "to suffer". Does that mean that waiting patiently is to suffer through the present moment? To taste each moment to it's fullest, to stand and watch as a plant grows? This is a little gross, but the Christians that had to go to the lion's den, they had to wait to be eaten. That would have made me crazy, but I'm sure I would have been the one to run in a circle and scream at the top of my lungs, "Lion!!!!" Enough to confuse the lions and maybe even make them sick as they watched me run in a circle. 


Think about it, to wait with patience as God shows himself and his plan to you. If we aren't waiting and watching in an active state, then we miss God all together huh? That, my friends, is what I am learning now-a-days! Along with all the sin stuff from the spiritual exercise, this is one of the hardest things ever. I also think the more we know, the more God calls us to know. He calls us and then we wait. We think we see him moving and doing only to wait some more. It's almost like playing chess...you plan, think, count out your moves, then get blocked right as the 'check make' is one move away. 


I am not very good at waiting with patience, however, I am better than I use to be! Sometimes, I think God is fine with this slow progress, because it's progress and it's waiting on Him. I would much rather yell out "Wait for me!" than get a head of God and try to climb out of that pickle barrel.      

Faith

I'm pretty excited that today is here. I begin my seven month journey today. Retreat in daily life. It's like starting a new class that you sorta know what it's about but actually you don't know squat about it. I'm also in my 4th week in my Bible study at Central in Fayetteville, Voices and Choices. It's been GREAT!! Things are just going according to God's plan.

Had the Vessels for the Lord here this past weekend and the Holy Spirit showed up and rocked some folks! I walked away with a few things that I knew, but needed to be reminded of. We each have to step out on our own faith. Just because Preacher man has the faith to move a mountain doesn't transfer to me cuz we're married. I'm responsible for building my faith. So when God shows us or tells us about the Promise Land he has for us, it's our own faith that get's our butts off the couch and get's us on the road to cross that Jordan. Sometimes we just want to look at the Promise Land and wait for someone to usher us by the hand into it. A lot of times we expect this to be the Preacher. I see the Preacher like Joshua, in Joshua 3, when he stood and was still. The Preacher, your friends, your family or that person on the street that yells out "Repent the end is near!" can all show you the promise land. They can draw you a picture, describe the fruit and give you step by step instructions. But we each have to be responsible for walking it out, daily! Not just on Sunday for an hour, that time is when we should be coming together to celebrate, to worship, to be in awe of the one who made us!

Sadly this doesn't always happen cuz we are sitting back waiting to be taken into the Promise Land. We believe it's someone else's job to sing and celebrate, someone else's job to tithe, someone else's job to stand up and do something! We get stuck and I think when this happens it's up to the Preacher to upset our apple cart and get us back on the path! I do not go to church to have my ears tickled, do you? I go to hear about how I can build my faith, to learn that I'm not in control, and to gain knowledge that might just be hard for me to swallow. I go to hear God speak to me! God spoke to me this weekend and I'm just glad I was there to hear it!

Take time to listen to the birds,

the waves,

the wind.

Take time to breathe in the air,

the earth, the ocean.

Take time to be still,

to be silent,

to allow God to fill you up

with deep peace and love.

Maguire, The vision of Peace