Thursday, August 4, 2016

Check this out, I've moved!


I'm trying a new place out and I'd love you to drop by and tell me what you think.

Please go to

If it's no good, we come back. The deal is, a few have let me know they can't leave comments here. At wordpress it's very simple. 

I look forward to growing through this together, please keep me posted!

Peace out!

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Call to action

I'm not sure if it's only a handful of us feeling the pull to be somewhat in control of the turns our lives take or not, but I'm feeling really out of sorts all the way down to the core of my being. The turn this country is taking breaks my heart! The turn the church is making boils my blood. And I know deep in my heart that the vast majority of us really do care for each other, we are just so stinking' scared to do anything, afraid it will be wrong and we'll get killed.

I told preacher man I want to do something. I'm not sure what it should be, but I want to do something. Now hold on, not that kind of crazy, but maybe go to the square in town with a sign that says "I care, I pray and I hug". Just spend a hot July day out there in it. 

If it breaks my heart, I know it's breaking God's! Love your neighbor as yourself.... Or at least try. 

So, I'm not sure what to do at this point. I feel the call to action, but that action is about love. I wonder if anyone else feels the call to help heal the hurt?


Wednesday, May 25, 2016

What not Who!

The goal of spiritual living is not
to amass a wealth of information
but to face scared moments.
Rabbi Abraham Heschel

Have you thought about grief much? I'm sure that question brings to mind another question, Oh crap, who died?

Sometimes it's not so much who as what. I mean think about it, we know about the 5 stages of grief. We talk about finding ourself working through stages at different times and staying in them as long as we want. There's that part of me that says, OK, here's the deal, I want to go through all 5 stages by 4:30 pm today because I got shit to do! It never really happens that way, does it?

It's a process. I tell my directees this all the time. I tell myself this all the time. So in knowing this, I want to look at the grief we go through when it's a what and not a who.

Show of hands, who has ever lost a job or had to quit one? It's a loss of a what. This what holds a place in your life, so when it's gone, you grieve the place it held in your daily life. Bear with me... These are somethings you think about...You don't have to get up at "that" time every morning. You also won't be having lunch with the gang anymore. For me, it's the hole that is left when you loose a what that is so hard to deal with.

I will be losing my what this Saturday. My range of emotions are wide and the tears seem to be coming too easy. In the twilight time before Saturday gets here, I reflect. What have I learned? Why did you put me there? Who, what, when, where, and of corse why?! God's voice calls to me saying Look upFace this moment. Take this in and just be with it. 

Facing scared moments... even when they don't feel so scared, is allowing God to work. 
Not an apricot tree.

There's an apricot tree in the back yard. I know this because the fruit is starting to ripen and fall to the ground. From a distance, you really can't see the fruit. As you walk toward the tree, you start to see. 

When we take time, we can see the fruit in our tree. Right now, at this moment. That's when it becomes a scared moment. This is the goal of spiritual living, turning to face scared moments.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016


Grace allows us to risk loving. 
To be unafraid of a life that can be messy. 
To make a space for something less than perfect in ourselves and in one another. 
To offer kindness or compassion in a glance. In a word. In a touch. 
To create spaces--sanctuaries--where healing and hope are offered. 
To believe in goodness after harm. 
And to know that this love will always spill to the world around us.
~ Terry Hershey

As I walk around the house this morning, the boxes are calling to me. They're empty right now, some of them stand in broke down form, but they are ready. They are always ready.

I feel like I'm at the point where I can't make sense of it anymore. I'm tired...I keep searching for the rhyme and or the reason. 


That's what I keep hearing in the back of my mind when I start going down the road of I gotta figure this out. 

This is stressful. I'm not saying it to get pity, I'm saying it cuz it's true. 

There is no rhyme or reason. 

There is only God. 

We are not where we should be so, yet again, we are moving. No, we don't know to where. But I want very much to be unafraid of it all. I want very much to be Christ like.

My lemon tree is loaded with blooms. The Bee's just can't stay away. God continues to show me to bloom where I'm planted. Even if it's in a pot and not in the ground. It's doesn't matter where I put you, I am there.   


Somehow, I think this might be right where God wants me. Spiritually wanting and spiritually blooming.

Do you know what I mean?


Wednesday, March 30, 2016


The more things change the more they stay the same... Naw, that ain't it. More like everything I ever needed to know I learned in kindergarten.  Today, I think I have to give some credit to the exercising industry, let me explain.

I have a tape that I try to do at least 4 times a week. In one part of the work out she says, "Don't forget to breath! Breathing is so important." At first I thought, Well duh! No breathing = death. It's not that she thinks we will forget how to breath, it's that when we workout sometimes we hold our breath, which I guess can also = death. 

It's important to breath correctly. I find that when I don't pay attention to my breathing when I'm running, I will get a side ache. When you start a move you breath in at the beginning and exhale at the end. It's the same with your spiritual life.

I guess I had forgotten that...

Sometimes we get so wrapped up with being in the 8th grade we forget the important things we learned in kindergarten. Or so wrapped up with being spiritual that we forget how important breathing is.

I invite you to breath with me. To pay attention to your breath as you inhale and exhale, for 5 minutes. My Spiritual Director reminded me of this today so I felt that maybe you might need to hear it too.    

Monday, March 7, 2016


I just want to start out by saying, I have lots of good excuses...

I went and brought home a puppy. I know right!! What is wrong with me?!! 

Why do we do it? Vow not to get another animal when this one crosses over the rainbow bridge. Within 6 months, if we wait that long, we have another one running around chewing on everything. 

She's really cute.

I think I'm in a season of holy discontent. Before I wrote those words out I looked up discontent  to make sure that was the word I wanted to use. Yip, it's the word.... a restless desire or craving for something one does not have. Ever have that? This one is hard to explain, because I can't just say it's about all holy stuff, cuz it's not. I still love Jesus and while my faith is challenged a lot, I do still have hope. It's more like this huge hunger. It's confusing. 

Found out last month that they sold the house we are living in. They would like us out early. We are trying to find a place and the excitement of moving again has lost it's luster.

So it's raining! We need it. Work is always slow when it's raining. I came home early and got some work done. Need to take the crew outside to potty. That's another thing, when we get puppies, we start all this crazy talk about going potty and stuff! 

I told you, I have lots of good excuses!

Sunday, January 17, 2016



I'm struggling with all of this right now. 

Do we all strive to belong, to something, to someone, to some program or group that seems to have it all going for them? Or at least seems to be like us? Or maybe just wants to know us for us. I don't have these answers, but I do struggle with the questions.