Trials

The trials of life are sent to make us, not to break us.

~ Malthie D. Babcock

I came across this in my quiet time this morning and after it punched me in the stomach, it gave me cause to ponder… I don't know if I agree totally with the statement. Wait, yes I do.

What happens when you break? What comes to mind might be bones sticking out and blood going everywhere. But what happens when it's not physical? Or on the outside, so everyone can tell? So often we think that if your not bleeding, your not hurting. I mean, think about what we say to kids when they get hurt. Let me see, are you bleeding? No, your fine. Get back out there. Yet, maybe they are breaking inside. 

So how do we deal with this not breaking during the trials of life? Well, for me, I produce way too much acid for my stomach to handle, I don't sleep through the night (been up since 12:30 and it's 4 now), I loose weight then gain it right back and I seem to cry during the strangest programs on TV. But the question is, is this breaking me?

I believe that IF the evil one has his way, yes, it will break me. But when I think about God growing me, making me, so to speak, I see this as a test, aka trial. Maybe not just like Job, but so dang close it's scary at times. I haven't lost everything like he did and I'm not sitting in ashes with sores all over me, but let me tell you, it feels like it sometimes.

I have come to a point where I can't be like them anymore. 

Years ago (it just seems like a few days ago), I could let myself fall back into default mode. You know what I'm taking about? I'm going to get all up in your face and kick the living shit out of you! If I can't do that, then I'm going to secretly sabotage you. (I think I might have been a bully when I was in high school, at times anyway. This is not news that thrills me, but I am about being real, and I have warned you about that!)

So, what's different now? Well, I think it's about letting God make me into a new creation without letting myself break back into what I know, my default mode. Let me tell you, for an extraverted, strong willed, might have had tendencies to be a bully, this is hard stuff!

Just when I think I'm at the breaking point, I read something, or someone calls with a kind word. I want to kick and spit, but that's not who God wants me to be. It maybe where they are, but I don't have to wallow in their crap with them. 

Save me, O God,

for the waters have come up to my neck.

~ Psalm 69:1

  

Accept Responsibility!

I've been thinking about some hard stuff lately. I don't know why I do this to myself, but since I do, I'm going to do it to you too!

Do we accept our responsibility in matters? What matters, you maybe asking. Well, the matters that you have a part in. Or do we play the victim? I was sinned against! I AM the victim! You don't know what happened to me! OK, true enough, I agree and have said these things myself. But what about our response? What about the fact that we learned to hate, or resent, that we hold onto that bitterness, or escape into an unreal world?

We may say My folks never told me about sex, and I grew up and went out into this evil world, innocent and ignorant, and got into trouble. That 's the way it happened the first time, but what about the second time or the third time, whose fault is it then?

Loom and Shuttle

Wise Dr Seamands from Asbury says Life is like a complicated tapestry, woven with a loom and shuttle. Heredity, environment, all the things experienced in childhood, from parents, teachers, playmates, all of life's handicaps - all of these things are one side of the loom, and they pass the shuttle to you. But remember, you pass the shuttle back through the loom. This action, together with our responses, weaves the design in the tapestry of our life. 

We are responsible for our actions! We will never receive healing until we stop blaming everyone else and accept our responsibility.

  

Wounds!

I read something pretty profound this morning! It's not new so much as it's timely for me. I always try to stay open to what the Holy Spirit might be saying to me through the things around me, this is what he said to me today:

The wound is the place where the light enters you!

~Rumi

Have you ever thought about it that way? So many times, it's about quick, clean it up and get a bandage on it so it will start healing. Yet, no matter how well we take care for our wounds, they leave scars. Some are bigger than others, some go deeper than we think, and some are where we don't see them and sometimes we forget that we have them until someone helps bring it to our attention. 

Some wounds are seen on the outside, like the one I have on my left knee. I remember how I got this bad boy like it was yesterday! We were stationed in Hawaii and I was at GirlScout camp somewhere up in the mountains. We were taking a hike down to the ocean and I some how slipped on some rocks and fell crashing to the ground and got a nice sized rock jammed in my knee. The leaders cleaned it up and I got in the salt water when we got to the ocean, but to this day I have a scar, which reminds me that acting a fool and running on rocks down a steep hill will get you hurt. So now I make sure that I act a fool in a rock free area!

The wounds I'm really taking about are the ones that we don't get scars that you can see. The ones that come from being told I don't love you anymore. Or from act's of betrayal, divorce, being bullied, lied to, the loss of a loved one, abortion, being made fun of, or even being told you'll never amount to anything. These are the wounds that if we let Jesus, he will enter our lives through those places and clean them up in the most surprising ways.

 Now, don't think that they go away or that you forget about what happened to you. What happens, IF we LET JESUS, is forgiveness, reconciliation, and an ability to help others let Jesus in to heal them. This is what is known as The Healing Ministry. This is part of the ministry that God has opened for me, in fact, if you have let Jesus shine his light on your wounds, this is a place of ministry for you. Our job, as Christians, is not to keep that light to ourselves, it's to allow it to exit our wounds and to help in the healing of others! Isn't that just like Jesus?