Again?

I have found that God deal's with me, just like he does everyone else... In a personal way. Think about it, what good would it do if he disciplined you in a way that worked for me? Let me give you an example.

Me and my sister!

When I was young and hanging out a lot with my sister, we would get into trouble. Now the exact trouble we got in escapes me, but the discipline does not. One such action on my parents part was to spank my sister first, if she did not cry, she caused the trouble. If she cried, I was hitting the road! 

It's hard to be disciplined. It's because we think so highly of ourselves you know. When we are disciplined, it hurts our ego but it strengthens spirit. Discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time. What's important is the outcome, are you allowing yourself to be trained?

We don't have to take God's discipline. We can rebel and run, cross our arms over our chest and stand on the firm sand of our own righteousness, stating that because of them we had to act that way. Really!?   

Are there areas in my life where God is working for change through the sting of conscience, remorse, and agitation? 

This was part of my devotion today, and I'm sure that if I'm having to deal with it, you have too. It hurts. I guess the question is, am I paying attention? 

Seek to live peaceably with folks. Try. It doesn't always have to be your way or the highway! Just breathe, calm down, and focus on God. There is always a bigger picture we are not privileged to see. Let go of the right you think you have to be upset and let God disciple you. 

Sounds easy enough, but it's so hard. That's why this life is a marathon and not a sprint. It takes us miles and miles to get it. But God is right there with us, every step of the way. So lift your head, drop your load and keep walking!

Peace out!

Oasis in the Valley!

Libby Landing on the Little Red

We have decided to call this place Oasis in the Valley, what do you think? Our reasoning is pretty simple; the name of our Non-profit is Oasis Ministries in Arkansas and we are living in the Valley. (It makes me think that rocket science can't be all that hard! Or is it brain surgery?) It's a lot shorter than Oasis Ministries in Arkansas on the Little Red River in the Valley! I'm lost just writing that much down!

Preacher man is out with Dad getting a load of firewood. We are going to have a few days of crazy cold weather for Arkansas, like lows in the 7's! So I informed the birds they needed to eat up and that I would not forget to put out the black seeds that they love so much! The weather service said we might receive some snow. I loved reading this, "Temperatures are expected to drop quickly and be significantly colder than this area has experienced in several years." Oh yeah, yet again the Workman's bring dramatic weather wherever we go!

When we moved from Rogers to Sherwood, the church didn't have anywhere to store their lovely furniture, so we had to sell ours. Hence, we now have make shift furniture. The pillows you see to the right is the couch. We have lawn chairs we are also using and when we have friends over, the chairs give the place a "I still live in a frat house" feel!

Needless to say, we are making progress on the unpacking and settling in. I just have to stop doing it ever now and then or I'm going to give away everything that doesn't fit in a place!

There have been interviews and chalk tests, yet we still feel God calling us to ministry. Do we know what it looks like yet? No, not really, but we know who does! All we can really do is pray and walk through the doors that He opens. We know something special will be happening here at Oasis in the Valley and we look forward to that with great expectation!

Through all of this the one constant has been God with us! Emmanuel! It was the only way to get us out of the UMC so that we could be in real, true ministry. Truly, God called us out! We are at a place where our faith is growing and becoming deep. We are learning that good things do come to those who wait on God.

So if you need a place to go and BE, you are welcome here at Oasis in the Valley, aka Alex and Kim's place. We'll keep the fire going for you and feed you some homemade soup. 

Peace Out! 

Transition

Being in transitions is a bit like being lost. You know you have to just keep going, or turn around. If we just keep going, we either come across something that let's us know where we are or something that says, "YO, your going the wrong way, turn around!" My transitions seems to be about going forward right now, what it isn't about for me is going back.

Going back is a lot like going home, and you know what they say about that…"You can never go home!" I think you can go back home, you just can't stay there anymore, cuz it ain't your home no more!

We are aliens right now in this place. People who don't belong, outsiders, not local. I can't even tell you how many times we have been aliens in different places. It's something that we have become pretty good at, however, it is always hard. Or maybe the word is difficult. 

One of the things that seems to sooth my soul is setting up the bird feeders. I know it may sound crazy, but it brings me great joy when we are "found" by the winged ones!

This happened yesterday! They found us and have been signing and scratching and eating in great number! We have been found! It's a sign to me that God sees us and will continue to take care of our needs. 

One of the cool things we get to do out here in the valley, is burn stuff! I burned my first pile of leaves yesterday and it gave me a sense of letting go of what is dead and lifeless. I stood there and saw those leaves as being part of our life with the Arkansas Methodist Conference. It's dead to us now, as we are dead to it and in fact have always felt that way deep down inside. You have got to get those dead leaves out of the way so that the new growth can come in the spring! If you don't, nothing will grow there. (This house has stood empty for two years and it shows in the yard!) 

So we are in transition. We feel somewhat lost, as aliens always do. But God sent the birds to welcome us to this new place. God helped me see that old, dead lifeless stuff has got to get out of the way so He can spring forth with newness!

So we say with renewed hope, Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful!

Persecuted

I gotta say, yesterday blew me away! Let me explain, or at least try to.

Preacher man and I went to a service yesterday at "That Church". If Sherwood were to have a mega church, this would be it. We decided on the middle service and from the minute we drove up in the peking lot, we could tell, this wasn't like any other church we had been to in a long time. You could feel the Spirt, even out in the parking lot. People were excited about being there.

A lovely lady walked us into the church, showed us where coffee was, and the entrance to the worship center and off we went. I could tell Preacher man was taking it all in, lights, sound, hospitality people, all of it. It's something that ends up happening to you when you've been trained like he has.

The lesson started and guess what it was about? Being persecuted! I haven't been able to talk about it freely yet, but just know that we are being persecuted and I will fill you in very soon.

The three points were accept it, endure it, and embrace it; persecution that is. Jesus told his disciples that If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. It's so true and I guess I had forgotten. I keep looking for something we did wrong. It's that we have Jesus in us and that flat out pisses folks off! 

Jesus never said, IF they persecute you, He said WHEN. Paul tells us that when we are persecuted, we endure it. But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your heart honor Christ the Lord as holy… Have no fear of them. I have said it over and over, They don't hate us, they hate the Jesus in us!

Now the last part, embrace it, made me want to laugh. I don't want to embrace this suffering. I want to…yeah, you know. Peter tells us not to be surprised at the fiery ordeal, but to rejoice in the suffering of Christ. Rejoice and embrace.

The part that surprised me the most was this was the message both of us needed desperately to hear. We needed to know, beyond a shadow, that God sees us, knows what we are going through, and has us! It has given me reason to rejoice in this uncertain time. 

As hard as it is, it's for Christ! I will continue to accept it and endure it. I am going to start to embrace it.       

Trials

The trials of life are sent to make us, not to break us.

~ Malthie D. Babcock

I came across this in my quiet time this morning and after it punched me in the stomach, it gave me cause to ponder… I don't know if I agree totally with the statement. Wait, yes I do.

What happens when you break? What comes to mind might be bones sticking out and blood going everywhere. But what happens when it's not physical? Or on the outside, so everyone can tell? So often we think that if your not bleeding, your not hurting. I mean, think about what we say to kids when they get hurt. Let me see, are you bleeding? No, your fine. Get back out there. Yet, maybe they are breaking inside. 

So how do we deal with this not breaking during the trials of life? Well, for me, I produce way too much acid for my stomach to handle, I don't sleep through the night (been up since 12:30 and it's 4 now), I loose weight then gain it right back and I seem to cry during the strangest programs on TV. But the question is, is this breaking me?

I believe that IF the evil one has his way, yes, it will break me. But when I think about God growing me, making me, so to speak, I see this as a test, aka trial. Maybe not just like Job, but so dang close it's scary at times. I haven't lost everything like he did and I'm not sitting in ashes with sores all over me, but let me tell you, it feels like it sometimes.

I have come to a point where I can't be like them anymore. 

Years ago (it just seems like a few days ago), I could let myself fall back into default mode. You know what I'm taking about? I'm going to get all up in your face and kick the living shit out of you! If I can't do that, then I'm going to secretly sabotage you. (I think I might have been a bully when I was in high school, at times anyway. This is not news that thrills me, but I am about being real, and I have warned you about that!)

So, what's different now? Well, I think it's about letting God make me into a new creation without letting myself break back into what I know, my default mode. Let me tell you, for an extraverted, strong willed, might have had tendencies to be a bully, this is hard stuff!

Just when I think I'm at the breaking point, I read something, or someone calls with a kind word. I want to kick and spit, but that's not who God wants me to be. It maybe where they are, but I don't have to wallow in their crap with them. 

Save me, O God,

for the waters have come up to my neck.

~ Psalm 69:1

  

Grace

 ~ My Grace is sufficient for you ~

2 Cor. 12:9

And nothing but the great trials and dangers we have experienced would ever have led some of us to know Him as we do, to trust Him as we have, and to draw from Him the great measure of His grace so indispensable during our times of great need. 

Difficulties and obstacles are God's challenges to our faith. When we are confronted with hindrances that block our path of service, we are to recognize them as vessels for faith and then to fill them with the fullness and complete sufficiency of Jesus.

~ Nov 15th devotional from Streams in the Desert, by L.B. Cowman

Does that sound awesome? I'm trying to answer that question myself. I mean, it explains a lot to me right now, it really does. Somewhere down deep though, I just want to spit!

But God…

Your grace God, not my understanding of the situation. 

Your grace God, to help me let go.

Do you remember jumping off the diving board for the first time? Daddy was treading water under the board, ready to save me. But I had to be the one to take the step.

In one of Indiana Jones movies, he's come to the un-passable abyss. He stuck his foot out into nothingness and as he did, the stone to step on appeared.

We keep going, it's just what we do. Your grace God! Your grace!

Question One!

Part of my "official training" as a spiritual director had my path cross the path of Rev. Dr. Frederick Schmidt. Dr. Fred has done and continues to do so much for the Kingdom of God. On top of everything else, he is an Episcopal Priest. Dr Fred lost his brother in January to a brain tumor. His brother's name is Dave. 

Dave asked the hard questions about spirituality and the church. While Dr. Fred was one of my professors, he talked about writing a book called The Dave Test. It is now out and his blog is taking some time, in the next 10 weeks, to ask some question to see if it passes The Dave Test. So if I feel like it, I'm going to ask us to think about those questions too.

Taking the Dave Test during the Holidays

Question One: "Can I say life sucks?"

Illness, job loss, divorce, anniversary of the death of a loved one, these are a small showing for things that can and do happen around the holidays. Suffering doesn't take a holiday. These experiences are, by nature, isolating. They cut us off from what and who we have known. I mean think about it, how many people are going through a divorce in your church? Do you know? They usually stop going to church. 

During the holiday's we assume that everyone should be sweep along in the holly jolliness of it all. How many times have you heard someone say "Oh, get over it, it's Christmas!" "Can't you just get in the spirit of the season?" Hang on a minute…let me think about it…."Can I just say life sucks?"

Sometimes I think we forget Jesus was born in the shadow of Herod's raging paranoia! Children, baby boys, were being killed by huge numbers. But God...

Holiday celebrations that pass the Dave test are honest about those realities and people who can say, “life sucks” they are among the best to celebrate with on those holidays. Why? Well, why not? When we acknowledge that life can be hard, we open ourselves up to possibilities of seeing hope. Hope in the people who have suffered before you and lived through it. We might need to celebrate the holidays without ignoring life's realities. We might want to share our story with someone who needs to hear some hope.

So, can I say that life sucks? Well friends, right now it does. But God….. 

       

Weary!

Butterfly on flower!

I have a confession to make, I'm weary! It was less of a weight last week, but this week it's full blown heavy! Let me look that up real fast to make sure I'm using the right word. Yep, it's the right word. Feeling or showing tiredness, esp, as a result of excessive exertion or lack of sleep. For me this means; more than necessary physical or mental effort. I think I can throw in emotional and spiritual effort too. 

I found it very interesting that in talking with my spiritual director he suggested that I look at weary and ask why it's hanging around. 

Have you ever thought about doing something like asking your weariness why it's there? Well, up until a few years ago, ok it may have been months, I had never thought about doing anything but begging God to take it away from me. 

So I've been asking weary; What is your intent here? How long is the duration going to last? What do I need to do to make you go away!?

The answers I seem to be getting are: Invitation, as long as it takes, pay attention.

I'm going to do more asking. I'm also going to step back and see if the view is any better from back there.
  

Clean Heart

This is one of the scriptures that is speaking to me this morning. I'm a underlinen, highlightering, jot it downer! My Bibles (yes, as a Preacher wife, I have more than one Bible) are underlined and some have dates and situations written beside them. This is a record of my life. 

I use to think that I had a spiritual life and a regular life. I kept them pretty much separated. Somewhere along the line, they started going together and meshing. Only God can do those things! 

Here's an example: To speak the words of Psalm 51, at first, it's a very noble thing to say. Why, yes Lord, give me a clean heart, a do over kinda heart. So, it get's underlined. Then, sometime later, the words something thats not right in our hearts get's written above it.

The words of the this Psalm, start changing in our minds. If, you say these words, out loud, is this not a request of God? 

For me, I come to these points in my life where God and I take off the gloves and we get real with each other. Truth be known, I'm the one getting real, cuz God always is! I have this conversation with myself about really wanting a clean heart? Wouldn't it be better if you just changed all them Lord and straighten them out?! 

So here I am...hanging out with The Word, and God shows up and I start to see my need for God to make a clean heart in me... This is something that ONLY God can do! Our part in it all? Be open and available, pay attention, be aware, and finally... let God have His way.  

It's Hard

Do you ever have one of those day's, that turns into one of those weeks, and before you know it, it's one of those months? Wow, I seem to be there and for some reason, can't seem to do much about it. It's like my train has jumped the track and I'm still going in the right direction, just off the track and making a ton of noise, throwing up dust and rocks. I just can't seem to jump back on the tracks. Or am I just loosing it?

The month started out good enough with a discernment retreat for practicum class. Good news, God is still calling me to spiritual direction! By the time I got home, our world was already changing. Preacher man and I are back into youth ministry, which has turned out to be a blessing. 

Went to an Enneagram conference and found out I'm a 3. The Enneagram is an ancient personality tying system that identifies nine types of people and how they relate to one another. It's a power tool for explaining why persons behave the way they do, and why motivation is largely determined by personality.

Was in charge of church pictures. What a trip that was, and still is.

The hardest thing we've done this month was saying good bye to Sam. Words are so hard to come by to explain the hole a beloved pet leaves when they die. This past year, we've also said good bye to Yazi, but Sam was a Golden Retriever, and theres just not anything closer to a Jesus dog than a Golden. 

It was getting harder and harder to get Sam in and out of the house, as his hips continued to fall apart. His breathing was so labored and he just couldn't get around like he wanted to. His last morning, he was laying in the back yard and I went outside with his leash. He struggled to jump up and was so excited to be going on a walk. We went through the gate and had it not been for the bushes, I think he would have fallen. Preacher man was at the truck, and then Sam knew he was going for a truck ride. Sam loves to go! His eyes were so bright and his tail wagged so hard... It took both of us to pick him up and place him in the back. He struggled to his feet and was ready for a ride. As I stood in the yard watching them drive down the road,with tears running down my face, I could see his tail wagging.

Love is hard sometimes. I bet Jesus understand that.

I know Jesus was there to welcome my Sam home, with Yazi and Shyela beside Him. I know he's better off, but I don't want to hear that, so don't say it. It's hard to get up in the morning and not hear that tail hitting the floor in anticipation of me coming down the stairs for a morning belly rub. It's hard not to see the "Happy Dance" that he would do just because you were talking to him. It's hard to watch Gracie wonder where he is and when he's coming back. It's just hard.   

Emptiness!

I've been somewhat sick for about a week. It's hard for me to be sick, I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about, so let me explain! I have stuff to do... important stuff to do! I get paid for a few of these things that I do, but mainly it's just stuff, my stuff. Working out is a good example of some of my stuff, blogging is another. Anyway, all I've been able to do for a week is sit around and try to breath! OK, your right, I did work the Arkansas Flower and Garden show last week, went to dinner with my parents for my birthday, rang handbells in church, got my hair done, had spiritual direction, went to vision cafe, centering prayer and got finger printed for concealed hand gun license. Maybe if I had sat around and tried to breath I would have gotten well sooner, you think?

We are afraid of emptiness. Flat out scared to have space in our lives! This, that I just shared with you, is a perfect example of how fearful we are of empty space! We like to occupy-fill up-every empty time and space that we might have in our life. Look at your calendar if you think I'm making this up! We have filled our empty spaces before we even get to them!  

I'm going on a silent directed retreat this weekend at the beloved St. Scholastica, where I will try to allow emptiness to exist in my life. Emptiness requires a willingness not to be in control, a willingness to let something new and unexpected happen. It requires trust, surrender, and openness to guidance.

God wants to dwell in our emptiness. But as long as we are afraid of God and God's actions in our lives, it's unlikely that we will offer our emptiness to God. 

Come Lord Jesus, and fill our emptiness with you.

Forgive!

Do you have unforgiveness in your heart? Is it justified? How long have you been holding on to it? 

I'm going to bet that if we are truly honest with ourselves, we have to answer yes! I feel like I'm always in a state of forgiving, or at least trying. When you think about it, facing responsibility and forgiving people are really two sides of the same coin. 

The reason some people have never been able to forgive is that if they forgive, the last rug would be pulled out from under them and they would have no one to blame. Think about that for a minute. If we forgive, who do we blame for our short comings? Our attitudes? Being over weight?

Facing responsibility and forgiving are almost the same action; in some instances you need to do them simultaneously. Jesus made it very plain that no healing occurs until there is deep forgiveness.

Does it happen overnight? Is it easy? If it were easy, everybody would be doing it! In fact, I don't know that we do it, we allow Jesus to come into our lives and do it through us. We allow or ask Jesus to do it. I have said on many occasions: Jesus, I can't forgive them, but I want to! Help me! Show me how, or just do it in me! It starts to happen. When we allow the true healer to do his work in us, we are truly healed.     

Walk like a Penguin!

The last word you heard from me, I had worked out with Jillian. I would like to report that I am able to move more like a person today instead of a penguin. Yes, that's right, I have been so beyond sore since Monday that I really thought about using the wheel chair from the church to get around in. The problem being it won't fit in the Mini and we live in a tri-level house! 

I went out and got a massage yesterday and that helped so much that I soaked in a hot tub of Epson Salt when I got home. Low and behold, I am moving much better. I'm not kidding, I was walking like a penguin. Dang Jillian! I might try it again tomorrow!

I'm thinking about changing my web site up. I'm not getting any comments and Preacher man says it's cuz it's hard to do on this site. Is that true? I know one or two are reading this thing and surely I'm saying something that you can comment on! You know, if you find this commenting thing to be true, would you drop me an email and let me know? kimer.workman@gmail.com is my address.
Also I'm thinking about changing the title, take a look and let me know the one or two you like the best?! Here's the list:

• Little Wheels
• Preacher's Wife
• Pickles & Sauce
• Kimba's Calling
• The Call
• Healing Heart
• PW Wisdom (Preacher's Wife)
• Broken
• Oasis Mystic (Oasis is the name of our non-profit)
• Woman at the Water Pump
• Not Prefect
• Enough

Do you have an idea? Let me know your thoughts!
Looking forward to hearing from you!
Peace Out!

Working out & Letting go!

Once upon a time, a longer time ago than I really thought, I was in shape! I remember going to the Deep In at seminary, the sun hadn't even thought about getting up, and working out for at least an hour. Today, after about a 30 minute walk with Preacher man and Gracie, I got the "30 Day Shred" out of the box, popped it in the machine and within 20 minutes flat was, so close to death that I thought I was going to have to lay on the floor all day! Dang Jullian Michaels! 

Have you ever thought about how tired we get just from carrying our stuff around? I got to thinking about it this morning before I had my near death experience. I'm pretty amazed that we have downed sized and gotten to the point where we carry more than ever before. 

When I was growing up we had tapes, aka, cassette tapes. We had these huge boxes that we kept them in and the boxes took up at least one persons seat in the car. Our music was and is important to us, hence we carry it with us. Now, it all fits in a smart phone, which also fits in the back pocket of a pair of jeans!

I ran across this story and want to share it with you:
  
Two traveling monks reached a river where they met an attractive young woman waiting to cross. Wary of the current, she asked if they would be willing to carry her. One of the monks hesitated, but the other promptly picked her up into his arms, transported her across the river, and put her down, safely on the other bank. She thanked him and went on her way.

As the monks walked toward the monastery, one brooded, stewing in the toxic elixir of self-righteousness and envy. After an hour, unable to hold his silence, he spoke. "Brother, our spiritual training teaches us to avoid any contact with women, but you picked her up in your arms, held her very close and carried her!"

"Brother," the second monk replied, "That is all true. But on the other side of the river I set her down. It sounds to me as if you are still carrying her."

Here's my question: Are you being owned or possessed by the things you carry? Or are you able to lay them down and walk away? Do others help you remember that you need to pick things up that you have laid down? 

In a way, it's like carrying all those tapes around when we have a smart phone that holds more than the box ever could! When we lay things down, we are freed up to grab a hold of a new freedom. So I guess the question is, do you want to carry your burden or grab for freedom?

A prayer for you is that you determine in your heart and mind to go into 2013 free and determined to take steps towards walking in the footsteps that only you were designed to walk in.
Free up your hands so that you may waive them in victory over something that has been binding you up in the past.
Free up your heart so that you may love and receive love the way you desire.
Free up your mind so that you are clear about the direction your life is taking.
Free up your time so that when opportunity comes, you are ready to walk in it.
Free up the limitations you have imposed on yourself and walk boldly towards your heart's desires. ~ Terry Hershey

New Self?

So, is time getting away from you too, or is it just me? That's what I thought! My time away from home this past weekend, sent me into a tail spin yesterday with making list's, going to store's, the post office, starting the cooking craziness and being overall flat out stressed. Then, when I took a minute after I received a call from my Daddy, I started putting things into order in my heart. This meant pulling out a prayer that just might end up being my mantra for awhile! I'm a gona' share it with you right now!

Searching for Our Self

Good Shepherd, who finds the lost one,

the "me" I have known has disappeared.

Will I ever recover the person I have been?

Will I find who I am, and who I am becoming?

Protect me in this great vulnerability.

Assure me that I will come home to myself

even thought my "self" may be different. 

Silence my impatience. Calm my worry.

Restore my joy. Dispel my negativity.

Help me to befriend my new self with hope.

Isn't that cool? It's not a bad thing to become someone new, however, it can be scary. The more I change, the more I look back and say things like, Wait! I didn't like that about me anyway! This new joy is so much bigger than the old joy! We need to change and grow, we need to become uncomfortable with where and who we are. We need to take a deep breath, invite the Holy Spirit to come over us, and just be. I know it's hard, but if you will do it once, you will be able to do it again. The next thing you know, you are digging this new self you are becoming.

God takes us as we are, but He doesn't leave us that way. This is what is known as change! 

Ladders and Walls!

I spent the better part of three hours reconnecting with a friend yesterday and it opened my eyes to a ton of things I had either forgotten, or dismissed. One of which is how women need to remember how to be women.

It's really pretty funny, cuz I was a huge feminist growing up. Trying to prove all the time that I could do anything a guy could do! After I found out in climbing the ladder to success, my ladder was leaning up against the wrong wall, I fell rather fast to the ground and had to start rethinking my live and what I was really after. So many of us just stay on the ladder, even when we see that it's not working out the way we had dreamed. I'm thankful for my fall, now, not so much when it was happening.

I started to learn something about the way we women are made and don't think I've shared this before so here we go with a few things we know as women, but might have forgotten!

We were made as caregivers! It is something that comes as easy as breathing. Now, some of us are better at it than others and that's fine. We are social and want to connect everyone to everything and in the process we care about others. When I fell off my ladder and started getting real with myself and God, I found out I was pretty dang good at this caregiver stuff. I found this out very quickly after I started working at the soup kitchen. I got to looking and low and behold, 95% of my volunteers that came in and cooked and cared for the people, were women. The 5% that were men, were my board leaders, food pick up and maintenance.

Another case in point story. I was completely blown away one day when I had cleaned the parsonage, played in the yard, and had dinner ready for Preacher man when he got home. The look on his face when he walked through the house and smelled dinner, was worth an amount that I still can't put a price on! I had shown care for him by doing what was becoming my job. In all honestly, it has always been my job. I had balked against it for so many years, cuz I was a woman with more education than you could shake a stick at! Anyone could take care of a house, I wanted to climb that dang ladder that was leaning up against the wrong wall! 

This has been part of my wake up call from God. My job is to care for my husband, AKA Preacher man! Because I am saying ok to this God given design, He is blessing me with a ministry! I am freed up enough to be able to sit down with others and listen to where they are on their spiritual journey and walk beside them. Just in the past week, I have shared in tears of joy, calmness that has come straight from God, frustration that has been self made, and rekindled a relationship that I believe will turn into something so much bigger than either of us can get our heads around right now! All I really did was be available to listen, which is a God given gift (those of you who know me, have seem the change!). 

To think it all started when I fell off the ladder that was leaning up against the wrong wall and I allowed God to reshape me into the woman he had planned all along! 

Different Place!

I'm in a really different place than I've ever been in before and I can tell I'll be here until I learn the lesson. What's the lesson you may ask, well if I knew, I'd be moving on now wouldn't I? 

Haven't you ever been someplace like this before? Where you know your way around, yet nothing is happening like it use to? You look in the mirror and know that person, but the things that are going on inside your head are a little on the right side of center. Then again, it wouldn't surprise me if I really was out here on the edge, alone!

I found myself sitting in a room with some people who are trying to learn more about the Bible, or at least 3 of us are. Some words were spoken that really have given me cause to think long and hard about what I stand for, or won't stand for. 

I will not stand with the world on it's views! I am called to be in the world not of the world! I want to be different than the world. When you look at me and line me up with the world, I want to stick out like a sore thumb! While I am human that doesn't give me the excuse to be like everybody else! 

I get that you don't want to judge! I have a news flash for you though...every time you get into your car, you judge. Or maybe you don't and that's why you don't have a car! 

I have written about the whole God is love, Jesus loves you thing before but I feel compelled to say once again... This is a great place to start, but they are so much more than just love! You can't just stop there and hope we will all love each other and get along. I mean, how's that working for you? Jesus didn't come so we would all get along, in fact, he said he came to cause a ruckus, paraphrasing by me!

Here's the deal, for me and maybe you. If you can't stand up for Jesus now, do you think when it's get's bad and we're persecuted, it's going to be easier? If you don't take the opportunity to study and grow deeper and wider now, do you think when stuff starts hitting the fan, your going to have lots of time to do that?

We need to love each other and call each other into account for our actions. We need to stand up for Jesus, spend time with Jesus and walk in the shadow of His cross. It's not the easy way of going about doing things but for me, it's the only way!   

Saved

I'm trying hard to remain full of joy and hope. Tomorrow is a big day with the election and all. But in the world I live in there are saints to bury and people to love, no matter how they vote. I have BBQ sauce to make and label, a house to clean, people to hug and a Preacher man to support, so forgive me if I don't stop everything to bitch and moan. I will vote tomorrow and I will do it as a right of living in this country and I will listen to how God is calling me to fill in the blank. I found this today and thought it might be nice to share! 

           Before I vote, I'll remind myself of Daniel Berrigan's "Credo."

I can only tell you what I believe; I believe:
I cannot be saved by foreign policies.
I cannot be saved by the sexual revolution.
I cannot be saved by the gross national product.
I cannot be saved by nuclear deterrents.
I cannot be saved by aldermen, priests, artists,
plumbers, city planners, social engineers,
nor by the Vatican,
nor by the World Buddhist Association,
nor by Hitler, nor by Joan of Arc,
nor by angels and archangels,
nor by powers and dominions,
I can be saved only by Jesus Christ.

So, Yeah Jesus!

Ripped

Boy, am I glad I announced I was going to be posting more! I don't know what I was thinking, oh wait, I'm sure I wasn't thinking and I wanted to share that with you!

I went to Fort Smith on Friday in order to be at the monastery bright and early for class on Saturday morning. Had to drive through a horrific storm in order to get there and came to the conclusion that I prefer driving 80 in hard rain in a truck! The Mini did just fine, I on the other hand, was offered a scotch upon arrival.

While I was gone, Preacher man had a visit from a man that we have been waiting on all summer long, the tree take-her down dude! Both of the very old, planted too close to the house, pine trees, are now down. They are down all over the back yard and the dogs have no idea where to go potty, but they are down. 

I have been buzzed by Humming birds that don't know where to land in order to wait for other Hummers to buzz! Every black flying bug that lived in the trees are swarming and in a really bad mood. It smells like Christmas in the back yard and now we have to start cleaning up and there are not enough hours in the day!

Do you find that your day is too short too? That all you do is run from one thing to the next? Without taking time to slow down and just breathe? Do you find that every time you do sit down to breathe, you get buzzed? I am with you, but the really cool part is, God is with you too. 

I found yesterday, I just had to do some physical work in the yard. I now have close to 200 iris' ready to be replanted somewhere. The cool part is they aren't under my Crape's anymore! However, every muscle in my body is now buzzing me! 

There is just something that calms down in me when I pull things out of the ground. That ripping sound of roots being pulled from the earth, the smell of the damp dirt... it puts me smack dab in a Holy place. So yesterday, I got to play with God in the dirt and he showed me how even the worms are something he's proud of. When the day was done and I was cleaning up, I looked over what I had done. It didn't seem like a huge amount had been changed. Then I noticed, something in me had shifted. I was calmer and stiller than I had been in a long time. I don't know how long this shift will last, but when I start to get crazy again, I will go see about pulling something else out of the ground and allow myself to re-center on what really is important.

We need to remember that the evil one is out there ready to steal our joy, every day. When we don't take time or crave out time, to just sit and be with the Holy One, well, we end up being the ones being ripped from our ground! So take 20 minutes today to sit somewhere that you enjoy, and ask God to speak to you, then watch and listen. When you make time for Him, he shows up! 

  

Your Daily Sack!

I really am trying to post more often! I don't know what my problem is, I have all these great idea's, sit down to start typing, and poof, they disappear. Plus, I have books I gotta read for class, Christmas cards to order, Bible study to get ready for, and the house needs to be cleaned! So while I'm waiting for the rain to stop, cuz I am not climbing up my ladder to change the church sign in the rain, I'll jot down a post!

We had a great time at church yesterday! I can only speak for me, myself and I, but I think Preacher man had a good time too. It was a 5th Sunday, and he took that opportunity to turn the service on it's head. It was great to see the reactions, which were for the most part very positive. We started out with the sermon and them sang a few songs, followed by the offering and a time of greeting right before the benediction! It really was fun! Then something that this church does is have a pot luck on the 5th Sunday, so we ate!

Something that kept running through my mind was how hard it is for people to change, or to sit through something that should look at certain way and all of a sudden, the bulletin is upside down, the music is not where it should be and we didn't even get to the prayers of the people! The good part is, no one died, or was rushed to the hospital because we did something different. We came together and set our sacks down and had to pay attention, cuz things were not what they seemed and Shelby didn't know when it was safe to close his eyes!

So, what's in your sack? You didn't know you had a sack? Oh, sorry, let me tell you what might be in someone else's sack:
anxiety from our day,
woundedness,
preoccupation with our busyness,
an unfair life,
relationships,
self-righteousness,
our need to impress.
Whatever is in your sack keeps you from living in the presence and steals your joy. How heavy is it? You can find out when you set it down, it's like a burden has been...laid down or something! The problem is, we have a hard time of letting it laying there, while we look around to see what we've been missing out on.

Here's the ticket friends, find a safe place, a sanctuary so to speak, to place your sack down. One of the definitions of sanctuary: a tract of land where birds and wildlife, especially those hunted for sport, can take refuge in safety from hunters. 
I love this! This sanctuary could be your garden, your work room, church, the library, your car... somewhere that the hunters can't get to you. It's a place where you allow your heart beat to slow, where you take time to smell the air, to go within and be with the presence! I live for moments like this.

So today, while I put up this weeks new church signage, I'm reminded that I don't have to carry my sack with me, not today or tomorrow or ever. The sad part is I will look down and somehow the thing jumps back into my hand, but seeing it there, reminds me to lay it down, daily!