Decisions?

Sometimes I find it incredibly difficult to make decisions. Let me clarify that statement. I can help you make decisions all day long, but for me, holy moly you'd think the world depended on what I pick. Are you like that? Or am I just some strange anti-decision making person? 

Heres my reasoning behind the difficulty... Fear. 

Bottom line...I don't want to disappoint God. I don't want to run full steam ahead of Him, and I for sure don't want to be caught sitting on my butt! So I let fear creep in and set up camp and I'm preoccupied with my fear of disappointing God.

I think, 7 times out of 10, we make the right decision. Mainly, because we want to do what's right. But I'm thinking we can have 10 out of 10. When we look back over our lives and the decisions made, even the ones we call wrong, made us what we are today in order to make the decisions that need to be made at this time. 

I've been trying to make a decision based on who I was 10 years ago. I am not who I was 10 years ago! I have grown from the decisions I've made no matter if they were good or bad. 

I have no idea what the out come of this decision is going to be. I've done it once, I'm hoping I can do it again. I know more this time around and I also know that satan isn't happy about this at all! 

But here's the deal: Is God calling you to more? More of Him, more of you? 
Is He wooing you to walk closer to Him through this time of trial?
Is there a thirst that is growing inside your soul? 

Yea, me too. I'm doing something about it. 
I'm saying yes to this calling again! 
I'm not who I was, I'm changed. 
I'm enough.

What decisions are you making?


 

Bumps in the Road.

It happens every summer, or maybe I should say that it happens almost every summer. We get a "Summer song!" Now, I know we are still in the strong holds of winter, but we have found our summer song! It's new but I'm sure if you love Despicable Me as much as I do, you have heard this song! 

Click Here!

It's Happy by Pharrell Williams and it's also the song from Despicable Me 2. Hearing this song makes me flat out happy! Preacher man and I downloaded it last night, and danced ourselves silly! You can not listen to this song and not be changed!

We should have things like this song in our lives to help us get over the bumps in the road. I don't want things in my life that halfway work, or show up for part time involvement. If I need help, I want help. No messing around! 

Right now, I believe I'll be listening to a lot of this song! Where we are right now is where the rubber hits the road, and it's hard. In all honesty, I don't think any of this journey is going to be a cake walk. Seems like the more you trust God, the more you need to trust God. Dah! 

Discernment is work, and it's work that requires all of you, and it wears you out. I feel like everyday, we start over again from scratch. I look at the insurmountable barriers that lay between us and a church plant… and I gasp. It's enough to make you take that job just so some money is coming in, even though you know that's not what is required. 

We are reopening A Workman Services. She has laid dormant for 7 years, while we were learning combat tactics. This is by no means the way we planned any of this ministry to happen…But God! We are grateful for His plan for our life. 

We are also in the process of discerning what our ministry is going to look like. It's crazy, really it is. How many people do you know that do this kinda stuff? We talk about listening to God and going where He leads, even if it's uncomfortable. So here we are.

So here's the deal: You gotta have things in your life that help get you over the bumps in the road. God has given us the ability to be moved by music. When you need some help over the bump that's appeared in the road, find that song, that summer song, and dance your feet off friend! There is a plan, you just aren't in charge!     

Oasis in the Valley!

Libby Landing on the Little Red

We have decided to call this place Oasis in the Valley, what do you think? Our reasoning is pretty simple; the name of our Non-profit is Oasis Ministries in Arkansas and we are living in the Valley. (It makes me think that rocket science can't be all that hard! Or is it brain surgery?) It's a lot shorter than Oasis Ministries in Arkansas on the Little Red River in the Valley! I'm lost just writing that much down!

Preacher man is out with Dad getting a load of firewood. We are going to have a few days of crazy cold weather for Arkansas, like lows in the 7's! So I informed the birds they needed to eat up and that I would not forget to put out the black seeds that they love so much! The weather service said we might receive some snow. I loved reading this, "Temperatures are expected to drop quickly and be significantly colder than this area has experienced in several years." Oh yeah, yet again the Workman's bring dramatic weather wherever we go!

When we moved from Rogers to Sherwood, the church didn't have anywhere to store their lovely furniture, so we had to sell ours. Hence, we now have make shift furniture. The pillows you see to the right is the couch. We have lawn chairs we are also using and when we have friends over, the chairs give the place a "I still live in a frat house" feel!

Needless to say, we are making progress on the unpacking and settling in. I just have to stop doing it ever now and then or I'm going to give away everything that doesn't fit in a place!

There have been interviews and chalk tests, yet we still feel God calling us to ministry. Do we know what it looks like yet? No, not really, but we know who does! All we can really do is pray and walk through the doors that He opens. We know something special will be happening here at Oasis in the Valley and we look forward to that with great expectation!

Through all of this the one constant has been God with us! Emmanuel! It was the only way to get us out of the UMC so that we could be in real, true ministry. Truly, God called us out! We are at a place where our faith is growing and becoming deep. We are learning that good things do come to those who wait on God.

So if you need a place to go and BE, you are welcome here at Oasis in the Valley, aka Alex and Kim's place. We'll keep the fire going for you and feed you some homemade soup. 

Peace Out! 

Forgiveness!

Aren't Smartphones the best? OK, they aren't better than Jesus, but you can bet they are a lot easier to carry around than your computer! 

I have been thinking about getting a Kindle, so I can read whatever I want, whenever I want. I got the Kindle app on my phone and I downloaded cool stuff like Whinny the Pooh and I found this free book called "Why we eat our own". It's by a pastor in Colorado named Michael Cheshire. He and a group of friends stated The Journey Church in Conifer CO. Anyway, this book has started to change my life, and I gotta tell ya, I needed it.

Preacher man and I are leaving the Methodist Church. Surprise! In hind sight, everything we have ever done has lead us to leave and jump out there for Jesus in a totally new and different way. Things like starting our own business, running a soup kitchen, running boards, cleaning churches, leaving all that you know to go to seminary, healing and wholeness, prayer, and flat out having to love Jesus and each other into every moment.

For the past three weeks, we have hurt, but we have also healed. I have wanted to reach out and smack a whole lot of folks, but Jesus had something else in mind. 

Forgiveness. It's really an easy concept when you ask others to forgive you. It is something totally different when you have to do it yourself and forgive the people you would rather run over with a lawn mower!

Here's the deal: All I have to do is allow Jesus access to my heart and he will work the forgiveness stuff out.

So the grains of sand in my hourglass are still running, and I don't want to waste anymore time with unforgiveness, self righteousness or justification! So I forgive you Sylvan Hills UMC and all the people that make you what you are as a church! 

In 4 days, we will be out of here and I want to thank the Jepko's, Smith's, Shadle's, Clarke's and Christina for being the heart of Christ to Alex and I. We could have done it without you, but I'm so glad we didn't have to. 

My heart breaks when I think about leaving my sweet, crazy neighbors! The meals, treats, talks over the fence, and just allowing me to be me has made our short stay here so much funner!

We came back to Arkansas to be closer to our folks. So that's where we are headed, Heber Springs. We are not leaving ministry, it will just look different from here on out. You can still contact us the way you always have. I'm signing out of blogging, until we get set up in the new digs. 

Peace out! Forgive!

and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. ~ Romans 5:5       

My Perla

We drove out to the airport last night to pick up my dear sweet friend Perla, who flew in from Colorado Springs to spend Thanksgiving with us. I believe the plane was blown here as that arctic blast moved into the area. In fact, they landed 15 minutes early, but couldn't unload because there was a plane in their spot.

I haven't spent much time at this airport, so I was unsure where we were to meet the disembarking plane people, so I followed the crowd. I went to the point where they have signs that warn you if you go any farther an alarm would sound, and there I waited.

I found tears were forming and I couldn't put my finger on why. Granted, this was Perla, who had shared in and was huge part of my soup kitchen days. I hadn't seen her in 7 years, yet we usually talk once a year. So maybe I just missed her and was excited to see her again.

Then it hit me, Perla is part of God's success story in me. I had the bull by the horns when I ran Manna and Perla stood right beside me! Do you have someone in your life that made history with you? Then you have a Perla too.

As I look at her now, I see her hearing God as we speak. I admire how she has stood for what God has called her to and I know she is one in a million. 

Perla and I fed the hungry together for about 3 years. We laughed, cried and grew together because that was God's plan. I believe He still has something in mind for us even if I don't know what it is.

This year, I'm thankful for a God who has put people in my life that remind me that I'm not a failure, that I can do ministry, and that God is bigger than all the ones who say differently.

The Captivating Presence

My spirit has been in turmoil for the past 24 hours. Honestly, it's been longer than that, but I'll say 24 hours for now. This morning for my devotional, I read this by Albert Edward Day and I wanted to share it.

I came to a new understanding why Jesus passed up the religious establishment of his day, the economically secure, the socially prestigious, and sought out the poor, the outcast, the sinner, the broken, the sick, the lonely. He felt as we so often do not feel, their sorrow. He was acquainted, as we too seldom are, with their grief. On Calvary he died of a broken heart.But that heart was broken long before Black Friday, by the desolation of the common people. "In all their afflictions he was afflicted."

Most of the time we are not. We seem to have quite a different conception of life. We avoid as much as possible the unpleasant. We shun the suffering of others. We shrink from any burdens except those which life itself inescapably thrusts upon us. We seek arduously the wealth and power that will enable us to secure ourselves against the possibility of being involved with another's affliction. Lazarus sometimes makes his way to our door step. We toss him a coin and go on our way. We give our charities but we do not give ourselves. We build our charitable institutions but we do not build ourselves into other's lives.

I saw this a lot when I was running the soup kitchen, so that was part of what I told people, give me your money, so I can help them! 

This presence of mind that the economically secure and socially prestigious had in Jesus' time, is alive and well in our time, in our churches, and in our country.

If this slaps you in the face, pokes you in the eye, or makes you want to call me up and give me a piece of your mind...all I can say is take it up with Jesus. 

Creator

Sometimes, we have to stop being The Creator and be the creation! I've been thinking about this for awhile. When I play creator, I gotta be honest with you, it flat out wears me out! I just can't keep up with everything and when the control starts to slip from my fingers, all I can do is watch it and cry out, "WHY!?" I try harder to gain that control back, to keep my eyes on the hundreds of things that need my control and input. 

Let me share something that happens a lot with me and The Creator, I crack Him up! I can see Him in my minds eye just having a big ole belly laugh at my plans and concerns about everything. 

One of the most important things that happened for me while at seminary was the healing I received for playing creator. I now know how much better things are when I do my part and only my part. I can not force people to know Jesus, I can only let Him live in me and change my life. I can not make people like me or respect my thoughts, I can only be true to what Jesus is calling me to do.

Now this upsets folks, and I gotta say, that would be their issue not mine. I am learning to let them be and do what I'm doing anyway. But here's the deal, if they would stop being the creator and would be the creation, I wouldn't bug them so much!

It's a known fact that I can't be put in a box. They try and hold the Preacher's Wife card over my head and I walk away from that cuz their idea isn't what God has for me. Really, you can try it, and when you get me in that box, just watch what happens. 

I know who my Creator is, He calls me by name and I come when I'm called. After Him, I take marching orders from the Preacher man, and that's just about it. 

I'm having a reset happen to me. I slyly look up to heaven out of the corner of my eye and I see my Creator nod with approval. I am His creation! I march to the beat of His drum. He has me and all the plans I will ever need all in His control.

So now, as the creation I was made to be, I will go out this day and be 100% who He is calling me to be! 

Wanna run through the sprinkler with me?

Random

We have hit a thick, ruff spot, and when that happens I either go into a deep dark place overloaded with mediative paranoia, or I become hysterically indifferent. I'm hanging out in between these places right now, so you will need to bear with me as my postings may seem off colored for a while.

VBS is done! I find that every year at this time, I wonder why we do it? Are we building the kingdom, saving souls for Jesus, blowing off steam, or just acting like a bunch of 8 year olds? The questions I'm left with are: What does Lazarus have to do with the farm? Why do we belittle our leaders? And who comes up with this stuff? 

Preacher man asked me a great question last night, maybe it was more of a statement. Wonder what Jesus thought about ministry? Ministry is hard! We knew this before getting into it, cuz we were into it before we went to seminary. One of my beloved professor use to say; Ministry would be awesome if it wasn't for the people! It's so true, yet it's also one of the reason's you get into ministry. To help other's grow up in Christ. 

At times, I'd rather be a farmer.