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Last Wednesday made a month since I've posted anything on this blog. What can I say, life has been kicking my butt, or at least trying.

In the past month I quit the soup kitchen gig

, and started at a gas station; lost a dear friend to suicide and felt the scariness of not knowing Jesus; celebrated with my sister at her wedding and saw the passion of ministry in my husbands eyes again; graduated with my certification as a spiritual director and started back at running. 

Life has been trying to kick my butt, but the cool part of it is I am getting those Ah-ha moments, and I gotta tell ya, I feel like I'm starting to come back into my own skin. Or at least, I'm starting to breath again. So there is an urge to write. 

So I write and I think. 

Sometimes life is just flat out hard people! Not just for me, but for us all!  

Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you today and see what happens. 

Question One!

Part of my "official training" as a spiritual director had my path cross the path of Rev. Dr. Frederick Schmidt. Dr. Fred has done and continues to do so much for the Kingdom of God. On top of everything else, he is an Episcopal Priest. Dr Fred lost his brother in January to a brain tumor. His brother's name is Dave. 

Dave asked the hard questions about spirituality and the church. While Dr. Fred was one of my professors, he talked about writing a book called The Dave Test. It is now out and his blog is taking some time, in the next 10 weeks, to ask some question to see if it passes The Dave Test. So if I feel like it, I'm going to ask us to think about those questions too.

Taking the Dave Test during the Holidays

Question One: "Can I say life sucks?"

Illness, job loss, divorce, anniversary of the death of a loved one, these are a small showing for things that can and do happen around the holidays. Suffering doesn't take a holiday. These experiences are, by nature, isolating. They cut us off from what and who we have known. I mean think about it, how many people are going through a divorce in your church? Do you know? They usually stop going to church. 

During the holiday's we assume that everyone should be sweep along in the holly jolliness of it all. How many times have you heard someone say "Oh, get over it, it's Christmas!" "Can't you just get in the spirit of the season?" Hang on a minute…let me think about it…."Can I just say life sucks?"

Sometimes I think we forget Jesus was born in the shadow of Herod's raging paranoia! Children, baby boys, were being killed by huge numbers. But God...

Holiday celebrations that pass the Dave test are honest about those realities and people who can say, “life sucks” they are among the best to celebrate with on those holidays. Why? Well, why not? When we acknowledge that life can be hard, we open ourselves up to possibilities of seeing hope. Hope in the people who have suffered before you and lived through it. We might need to celebrate the holidays without ignoring life's realities. We might want to share our story with someone who needs to hear some hope.

So, can I say that life sucks? Well friends, right now it does. But God….. 

       

The Captivating Presence

My spirit has been in turmoil for the past 24 hours. Honestly, it's been longer than that, but I'll say 24 hours for now. This morning for my devotional, I read this by Albert Edward Day and I wanted to share it.

I came to a new understanding why Jesus passed up the religious establishment of his day, the economically secure, the socially prestigious, and sought out the poor, the outcast, the sinner, the broken, the sick, the lonely. He felt as we so often do not feel, their sorrow. He was acquainted, as we too seldom are, with their grief. On Calvary he died of a broken heart.But that heart was broken long before Black Friday, by the desolation of the common people. "In all their afflictions he was afflicted."

Most of the time we are not. We seem to have quite a different conception of life. We avoid as much as possible the unpleasant. We shun the suffering of others. We shrink from any burdens except those which life itself inescapably thrusts upon us. We seek arduously the wealth and power that will enable us to secure ourselves against the possibility of being involved with another's affliction. Lazarus sometimes makes his way to our door step. We toss him a coin and go on our way. We give our charities but we do not give ourselves. We build our charitable institutions but we do not build ourselves into other's lives.

I saw this a lot when I was running the soup kitchen, so that was part of what I told people, give me your money, so I can help them! 

This presence of mind that the economically secure and socially prestigious had in Jesus' time, is alive and well in our time, in our churches, and in our country.

If this slaps you in the face, pokes you in the eye, or makes you want to call me up and give me a piece of your mind...all I can say is take it up with Jesus. 

Come, you who are blessed.

I found this article and wanted to share it. Pastor Jeremiah Steepek transformed himself into a homeless person and went to the 10,000 member church that he was to be introduced as the head pastor at that morning.

He walked around his soon to be church for 30 minutes while it was filling with people for service, only 3 people out of the 7-10,000 people said hello to him.

He asked people for change to buy food – no one in the church gave him change.

He went into the sanctuary to sit down in the front of the church and was asked by the ushers if he would please sit in the back.

He greeted people to be greeted back with stares and dirty looks, with people looking down on him and judging him.

As he sat in the back of the church, he listened to the church announcements and such.

When all that was done, the elders went up and were excited to introduce the new pastor of the church to the congregation.

“We would like to introduce to you Pastor Jeremiah Steepek.” The congregation looked around clapping with joy and anticipation.

The homeless man sitting in the back stood up and started walking down the aisle. The clapping stopped with all eyes on him.

He walked up the altar and took the microphone from the elders (who were in on this) and paused for a moment then he recited,

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

‘The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

After he recited this, he looked towards the congregation and told them all what he had experienced that morning. Many began to cry and many heads were bowed in shame.

He then said, “Today I see a gathering of people, not a church of Jesus Christ. The world has enough people, but not enough disciples. When will YOU decide to become disciples?”

He then dismissed service until next week.

Following in the footsteps of Jesus Christ should be more than just talk. It ought to be a lifestyle that others around you can love about you and share in.

Root's and all!

Do you learn something everyday? Maybe see something in a different light than on day's before? When that happens to me, I prefer it to be slow and gentle like a kitten rubbing against your leg, not like a big truck horn when you didn't even know the truck was there.

That happened this morning as I was walking back home from taking the girls to school. I had been watching Ava as she tried desperately to walk fast enough to catch up with a neighborhood friend. She kept yelling her name, waving and saying hi! By the time we came up the stairs, they met for a "Good Morning!" 

Do you want a hug? Ava asked her friend. Sure! 

As we continued on our way to her class, I noticed a yellow wild flower, root's and all, in her grasp! Whatcha got there Ava? It's a flower, for my teacher! 

When we got in the class room, she forgot everything except that flower and her teacher. I got this for you! Ava, you sure know how to melt hearts!

That's what she does, she melts hearts! Sometimes she sneaks up on you and does a slow melt and other times she runs up full force and blows you away with a torch! She really doesn't care who you are, she truly cares about you. It doesn't stop at people either, she cares about bugs and flowers and feelings and rocks. 

To me, she is a great example of what Christian love should look like. We should run with great abandon to others just to give them a hug. We should give beauty, down to the roots, to those around us. We can share everything we have, we can even share ourselves with others. 

This girl is not afraid to love! Not only have I learned something today, I've also been changed and refreshed!