Multitasking!!

Are you a multitasker? You know, able to do more than one thing at a time? I'm going to bet that if your a woman, not only did you say yes, but you are also proud of it! Am I right? I thought so. You know how I know this? That's right, I am a recovering multitasker too.

I'm going to give you a little food for thought and if it resonate's hold on to it, if not, let it fall away.

Multitasking is one of the great enemies of presence. To be present is to be in the here and now. Multitasking is about doing, not being. Think about it, how many times have you talked to someone who is looking right into your eyes and you can tell they are nowhere near you? How many times have you been that person?

The deal is, we need to stop it! How on earth are we to ever hear from God when we aren't really listening? When we sit there and inside our heads we are making lists of things that need done, doing laundry, living in the past, hoping in the future... Really? You think you can hear God speak through all that? 

So how do we go about being in the here and now? One way is to pay attention to your breath. Brenner says to attend to your breath, meaning to be fully present to your breath. To help you do this, get comfortable and when your ready, close your eyes. This cuts out visual distractions. Then, insert ear plugs or cover your ears. Now, notice your breath - don't try and change it, just attend to it as fully as you can. Be present to it. Listen to the sound it makes and feel the movement in your chest as you draw each breath in and then release it. When you notice thoughts or any other thing that takes your attention, simply return to being to your breath. Don't resist thoughts, but don't hold on to them either. I like to see it like I'm standing in a stream and thoughts are like boats that come towards me. I see them, and let them pass.

Now this isn't the easiest thing in the world to do. I end up paying too much attention to the color of the boats as they pass and sometimes I just climb on board and off I go. When that happens, I take a deep breath, and attend to my breath again. With practice it becomes easier, and the presence you slide into becomes deeper and fuller. 

You become settled. You become balanced, centered, calm. Then when God whisper's in your ear, you are able to hear, and be in His presence in the present moment.

It's really all we have, this present moment. The past is gone, and there is no promise of a future here on earth. So be in the here and now. Stop grading yourself on the stuff you get done and start trying to let the Father of all creation un-do you so you can be-come into the present.

Raw

I have tried to write many times, and nothing encouraging or witty or life giving is coming forth. So I don't.

But there is this welling up in my soul that needs an outlet. It's a pressure that threatens to consume. It takes my breath and yet I find myself holding it out of an old habit I thought broke. So I started walking.

I can't sit still, my nerves are raw as is my tongue. It's hard to be here, in this place of possible transformation. Maybe this is why not everyone chooses to go through this crap. It's hard to dream here. 

Keep moving forward, look up, breath, hang in there... we have all said it, so please, don't. Don't you see?! Can't you feel it?!

Today I dressed in running clothes. Got my phone, said Hello to Nike App and off I went. Running and walking. Action, movement, not being stagnant. 

I ran and I cried. 

Surely, you have not forgotten me. 

Simply

I've been thinking about what it means to live simply or to simply live. They go hand in hand now that I've been thinking about it. So what does that look like? Have you ever thought about reducing your carbon foot print? Do you even care? 

Here's some things I've either done or I'm trying to work into our lives.

I'm hanging our clothes out to dry. I know there are people out there that don't like the feel of line dried towels on their soft supple skin, but I personally think there is nothing better than a thirsty towel. Not to mention, that I'm drying my clothes with the help of nature. They smell good, iron up awesome, and it just makes me feel good to do it. 

Something else is recycling our trash. The city helps with this by providing awesome yellow trash cans and picking our stuff up every other week. I enjoy the fact that I have more recycle than trash and feel they should pick up recycle more often than trash! One things has really opened my eye's while we've been doing this recycling, it's how much we package stuff that is just silly and wasteful. If producers would cut down on packaging, we wouldn't have so much recycle to deal with.

These are just some things we've been doing to live simply, which helped us to see how important it is to simply live. To slow down and tune off the world and just be. It's hard to do when you work for a church and live beside small children, but it's the kids that help me see it's all about running as fast as you can, finding that turtle, being pushed on a swing, and eating blackberries. It's sitting on the back porch, watching the birds at the feeder and the ones that are living in the cucumber plants. It's about making enough dinner to last for a few more meals so you just heat it up. It's simple, everyday stuff that I'm doing to help us live in The presence. 

It's all we really have and all we've been promised. Yesterday is gone and we pray we learned those lessons. Tomorrow might not ever get here, so what are you waiting on? 

We're heading out today for some R&R. Just want to sit around and watch birds and eat good food and talk a slow story. Don't want no drama, or excitement, or other peoples issues. Just wanna be in the moment and simply live into it with all I've got!

Habit

Why is it that we fall out of habit's that are good for us faster and farther than habit's that are bad? Is it something just made into us? Do we yearn to be disobedient? Is it the rebel wanting to yell in us all?

Billy Idol, Rebel Yell!

I have a list as long as my arm to be done! Some of those things have to happen, some are need, and then there is the MY list that mostly are wants. In all honesty, I'm pretty tired of lists and letting them rule my life. I also know what happens without them, nothing!

We all go through times when we are more on the ball than others, and sadly we waste time beating ourselves up about it when we could just get back into the swing of things. 

I think, this is something I need to talk to my spiritual director about, that will help me get back on tract! However, with me and my director, I already know what he's going to say. Get back at it, now. 

So I listened to what he would say, if I were to ask, and this is what I got this morning:

The world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles, 

no matter how long,

but only by a spiritual journey,

a journey of one inch, very arduous and humbling

and JOYFUL, by which we arrive at the ground

at out own feet and learn

to be at home. 

~ Wendell Berry

So today, I encourage you to get back at your spiritual journey. To do your inch today and let God take care of the miles!

Try Hard

Do you find that you try too hard sometimes? Or are you one that finds you don't try enough, or anymore. I have to admit, after trying again and again with success down around my ankles, sometimes I find it easier to not try anymore. It get's hard coming up against walls again and again. 

Those are times when we are called to just Be for awhile. To stop and check out what's going on around us. To be present. 

Do you find that you are centered in the past or the future? I was thinking about it just this morning. I go to my past, it's what made me who I am. It's where lessons were learned or continue to be learned. I go to my future to plan and to have hope in. 

To be present, that's where I fall short. I think it's because it requires effort, and sometimes it requires a lot of it. That aside, to be present, we have to be attentive to the life we have right now, and to experience the scared and the wonder within this present moment.

I want to do less and live more. I want to look into the eye's of others and remember the color. I want to know what's important to the birds that come to my feeders, and to show people that they really can be heard.

What is sacred is what is worthy of our reverence, what evokes awe and wonder in the human heart, and what, when contemplated, transforms us utterly. -Phil Cousineau

New Self?

So, is time getting away from you too, or is it just me? That's what I thought! My time away from home this past weekend, sent me into a tail spin yesterday with making list's, going to store's, the post office, starting the cooking craziness and being overall flat out stressed. Then, when I took a minute after I received a call from my Daddy, I started putting things into order in my heart. This meant pulling out a prayer that just might end up being my mantra for awhile! I'm a gona' share it with you right now!

Searching for Our Self

Good Shepherd, who finds the lost one,

the "me" I have known has disappeared.

Will I ever recover the person I have been?

Will I find who I am, and who I am becoming?

Protect me in this great vulnerability.

Assure me that I will come home to myself

even thought my "self" may be different. 

Silence my impatience. Calm my worry.

Restore my joy. Dispel my negativity.

Help me to befriend my new self with hope.

Isn't that cool? It's not a bad thing to become someone new, however, it can be scary. The more I change, the more I look back and say things like, Wait! I didn't like that about me anyway! This new joy is so much bigger than the old joy! We need to change and grow, we need to become uncomfortable with where and who we are. We need to take a deep breath, invite the Holy Spirit to come over us, and just be. I know it's hard, but if you will do it once, you will be able to do it again. The next thing you know, you are digging this new self you are becoming.

God takes us as we are, but He doesn't leave us that way. This is what is known as change! 

Ripped

Boy, am I glad I announced I was going to be posting more! I don't know what I was thinking, oh wait, I'm sure I wasn't thinking and I wanted to share that with you!

I went to Fort Smith on Friday in order to be at the monastery bright and early for class on Saturday morning. Had to drive through a horrific storm in order to get there and came to the conclusion that I prefer driving 80 in hard rain in a truck! The Mini did just fine, I on the other hand, was offered a scotch upon arrival.

While I was gone, Preacher man had a visit from a man that we have been waiting on all summer long, the tree take-her down dude! Both of the very old, planted too close to the house, pine trees, are now down. They are down all over the back yard and the dogs have no idea where to go potty, but they are down. 

I have been buzzed by Humming birds that don't know where to land in order to wait for other Hummers to buzz! Every black flying bug that lived in the trees are swarming and in a really bad mood. It smells like Christmas in the back yard and now we have to start cleaning up and there are not enough hours in the day!

Do you find that your day is too short too? That all you do is run from one thing to the next? Without taking time to slow down and just breathe? Do you find that every time you do sit down to breathe, you get buzzed? I am with you, but the really cool part is, God is with you too. 

I found yesterday, I just had to do some physical work in the yard. I now have close to 200 iris' ready to be replanted somewhere. The cool part is they aren't under my Crape's anymore! However, every muscle in my body is now buzzing me! 

There is just something that calms down in me when I pull things out of the ground. That ripping sound of roots being pulled from the earth, the smell of the damp dirt... it puts me smack dab in a Holy place. So yesterday, I got to play with God in the dirt and he showed me how even the worms are something he's proud of. When the day was done and I was cleaning up, I looked over what I had done. It didn't seem like a huge amount had been changed. Then I noticed, something in me had shifted. I was calmer and stiller than I had been in a long time. I don't know how long this shift will last, but when I start to get crazy again, I will go see about pulling something else out of the ground and allow myself to re-center on what really is important.

We need to remember that the evil one is out there ready to steal our joy, every day. When we don't take time or crave out time, to just sit and be with the Holy One, well, we end up being the ones being ripped from our ground! So take 20 minutes today to sit somewhere that you enjoy, and ask God to speak to you, then watch and listen. When you make time for Him, he shows up! 

  

Your Daily Sack!

I really am trying to post more often! I don't know what my problem is, I have all these great idea's, sit down to start typing, and poof, they disappear. Plus, I have books I gotta read for class, Christmas cards to order, Bible study to get ready for, and the house needs to be cleaned! So while I'm waiting for the rain to stop, cuz I am not climbing up my ladder to change the church sign in the rain, I'll jot down a post!

We had a great time at church yesterday! I can only speak for me, myself and I, but I think Preacher man had a good time too. It was a 5th Sunday, and he took that opportunity to turn the service on it's head. It was great to see the reactions, which were for the most part very positive. We started out with the sermon and them sang a few songs, followed by the offering and a time of greeting right before the benediction! It really was fun! Then something that this church does is have a pot luck on the 5th Sunday, so we ate!

Something that kept running through my mind was how hard it is for people to change, or to sit through something that should look at certain way and all of a sudden, the bulletin is upside down, the music is not where it should be and we didn't even get to the prayers of the people! The good part is, no one died, or was rushed to the hospital because we did something different. We came together and set our sacks down and had to pay attention, cuz things were not what they seemed and Shelby didn't know when it was safe to close his eyes!

So, what's in your sack? You didn't know you had a sack? Oh, sorry, let me tell you what might be in someone else's sack:
anxiety from our day,
woundedness,
preoccupation with our busyness,
an unfair life,
relationships,
self-righteousness,
our need to impress.
Whatever is in your sack keeps you from living in the presence and steals your joy. How heavy is it? You can find out when you set it down, it's like a burden has been...laid down or something! The problem is, we have a hard time of letting it laying there, while we look around to see what we've been missing out on.

Here's the ticket friends, find a safe place, a sanctuary so to speak, to place your sack down. One of the definitions of sanctuary: a tract of land where birds and wildlife, especially those hunted for sport, can take refuge in safety from hunters. 
I love this! This sanctuary could be your garden, your work room, church, the library, your car... somewhere that the hunters can't get to you. It's a place where you allow your heart beat to slow, where you take time to smell the air, to go within and be with the presence! I live for moments like this.

So today, while I put up this weeks new church signage, I'm reminded that I don't have to carry my sack with me, not today or tomorrow or ever. The sad part is I will look down and somehow the thing jumps back into my hand, but seeing it there, reminds me to lay it down, daily!

Changed Heart!

Can I tell you that I'm learning things about myself almost daily? I look in the mirror some mornings and I remember that face from so long ago that was all about the doing and getting it done. I mean, I still am, but I think I'm looking at it just a little differently everyday. 

I remember when God put me at the soup kitchen, surrounded by people on a board that really could care less about Jesus. They knew the job that had to be done, but really didn't see what Jesus had to do with any of it. I thought That's fine! If it weren't for Jesus I sure the heck wouldn't be working in a soup kitchen! So I'll just do what I do cuz of what Jesus did for me! I remember the looks and how everybody thought I was off my rocker, but all I could think about was getting these people off my board so I could surround myself with like hearted people and be about the work of the church! I pushed and pushed and all it got me was stronger in the area of pushing.

As I look back now, I still want to push. I want to proclaim: This is how Jesus wants it, what's wrong with you people, can't you see what your doing wrong and that doing it this way would make everything right to Jesus? I was having a fit about that not so long ago in the distance past when this wise Preacher man looked at me and said, You gotta let God change their hearts! 

It's true! Only God can change us. All the self help books in the world don't hold a candle to what reading the Bible can do for you. Don't understand it? Ask somebody, like Preacher man. If he doesn't know the answer, which he usually does, he will find out for you! Somewhere along the way, we stopped talking about what we've been reading. Or more like we stopped talking about what we've read in the Bible, cuz we stopped reading it huh? We don't talk about our spiritual gifts, we would rather talk about the sale at Dillard's, or that funny looking Preacher's wife. Talk all you want about me, cuz what you see is a girl sold out for Christ. I'm walking his walk and talking his talk! I don't have it all together, but I'm letting God change my heart, one day at a time!     

Being about Doing

I pray for the grace to be in God's presence, in all of my doing Lord - Help me be. 


So does that mean I sit around reading books thinking about pie in the sky? How would I ever get anything done? The yard would be a mess, I'd never shower, (that sounds ok for a few days) and Preacher man wouldn't have any clean clothes!


To be in God's will and presence... at all times. That's a tall order, or is it?


I believe God wants me to have an ordered house - it's good for Preacher man, it's good for when people come over without calling 2 days in advance. I mean, God is a God of order, so this makes sense to me. However, I don't believe he wants me to be all crazy about it like my friend Anne use to do. She would vacuum and them jump on furniture to keep from flattening out the carpet. That's crazy! God doesn't want me to get sucked into the doing, he wants me to be about it. If something comes up, I'm free to stop and be with what came up.


I have found that at times, (long ago) I have become too ridged in doing. It then becomes more about doing the task than being with God. It can be at work or just here at home. I forget that my job is to take care of this home and Preacher man. I don't want to do it so  I'm miserable, I want to find the joy in being about the care.


It's the Mary and Martha thing again! Martha was too involved with the doing when it should have been more about the being with Jesus. They probably thought Jesus was going to be around for years and years. There would always be time to be at his feet. 


I have my whole life to figure this being thing out, but I don't want to put it off till the last minute. I want to be about keeping an ordered home and being with Jesus while I'm doing it!