Learn it!

I'm coming to the conclusion that the more we know, the more there is to learn. I know this isn't a new thought, but for some reason it feels new to me right now. 

I remember years ago, praying to be used by God. Didn't have a job in mind when I started praying this, cuz I wanted to be open to God and what He had for me. So He put me in the soup kitchen. I thought at first this was a crazy mistake, but I went with it. The best job I have ever had! During this time my husband (pre-Preacher man), got his calling to go into full-time ministry. Again, I thought this was a crazy mistake. The best place, school, and learning we could have ever received! 

Now, we find ourselves in the wilderness and it's got to be a mistake! How can we work for God like this? It's dry and lonely and cold and lonely and did I say lonely? 

I'm learning that God is still God and I am still one of His beloved, but I'm at a new and different place with Him. It's hard because I haven't been here before so I don't know what I suppose to do. I've had people tell me pride goes before the fall that have no idea what we're going through. As much as I want to answer that with my words of wisdom straight from the 8th grade, I don't. So this morning, you know what this silent God showed me?

The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold,

but the Lord tests the heart.

~Proverbs 17:3

So, no matter where you find yourself today, know that God is calling you to more. More of Him. It will be or is, difficult. Know that to begin with. When God calls you to more, it's not a cake walk, it's a narrow path but it leads to Him.

Press on! Let the crucible your in burn away the flux that holds you back from being more. Let the fire of the furnace be turned up so that the glory of God shines right through you! And remember that the Lord tests the heart. 

Peace Out!

Pooh

Christopher Robin: "Pooh Bear, what if someday there came a tomorrow when we were apart?"

Pooh: "As long as we're apart together, we shall certainly be fine."

Christopher Robin: "Yes, yes, of course. But if, if we weren't together... if i were somewhere else?"

Pooh: "Oh, but you really couldn't be, as I would be quite lost without you. Who would I call on those days when I'm just not strong enough or brave enough?"

Christopher Robin: "Well, actually..."

Pooh: "And who would I ask for advice when I didn't know which way to turn?"

Christopher Robin: "Pooh, we..."

Pooh: "We... we simply wouldn't be."

Christopher Robin: "Oh, Pooh. If ever there's a tomorrow when we're not together, there's something you must remember."

Pooh: "And what might that be, Christopher Robin?"

Christopher Robin: "You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

Pooh: "Oh, that's easy. We're braver than a bee, and, uh, longer than a tree, and taller than a goose... or, uh, was that a moose?"

Christopher Robin: "No, silly, old bear! You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is even if we're apart, I'll always be with you. I'll always be with you. I'll always be with you."

-From "Pooh's Most Grand Adventure: The Search For Christopher Robin"

If - Then

Do you ever get to spots in your life where you think our doing ok: involved in church, hobby's, going to sunday school, small group here and there. No major fights happening on the home front. You know, feeling pretty good about things and the direction they are moving. Content. Or is it complacent?

That's when you get it, right in the kisser. Comes out of thin air, I swear! Then you spend the next few hours trying to figure out what just happened. Replaying things in your head, going over the What If's, finding a sounding board that can handle what your fixing to lay out there. As I write these words, I'm still shaking my head.

But here's the deal: If we will forgo the desire to lash out in our own defense; If we just take it, like Christ took it, we become vulnerable. Then God has an opening to show up and do what God does.

This is part of what I learned from my time in the vulnerable circle.

1. I can only change myself! 

2. It is my choice to put on Christ or not.

3. God see's me.

I chose to put on Christ yesterday. It was hard to keep my mouth shut when false accusations were flying all around me. I took it. I came home crushed and unable to figure out what to do with all that stuff.

Then this morning, God showed me. I obeyed and He gave me grace by the bucket loads. Every scripture I read this morning was straight from God's heart  to mine! 

If we obey, He is faithful.  

Weary!

Butterfly on flower!

I have a confession to make, I'm weary! It was less of a weight last week, but this week it's full blown heavy! Let me look that up real fast to make sure I'm using the right word. Yep, it's the right word. Feeling or showing tiredness, esp, as a result of excessive exertion or lack of sleep. For me this means; more than necessary physical or mental effort. I think I can throw in emotional and spiritual effort too. 

I found it very interesting that in talking with my spiritual director he suggested that I look at weary and ask why it's hanging around. 

Have you ever thought about doing something like asking your weariness why it's there? Well, up until a few years ago, ok it may have been months, I had never thought about doing anything but begging God to take it away from me. 

So I've been asking weary; What is your intent here? How long is the duration going to last? What do I need to do to make you go away!?

The answers I seem to be getting are: Invitation, as long as it takes, pay attention.

I'm going to do more asking. I'm also going to step back and see if the view is any better from back there.
  

Clean Heart

This is one of the scriptures that is speaking to me this morning. I'm a underlinen, highlightering, jot it downer! My Bibles (yes, as a Preacher wife, I have more than one Bible) are underlined and some have dates and situations written beside them. This is a record of my life. 

I use to think that I had a spiritual life and a regular life. I kept them pretty much separated. Somewhere along the line, they started going together and meshing. Only God can do those things! 

Here's an example: To speak the words of Psalm 51, at first, it's a very noble thing to say. Why, yes Lord, give me a clean heart, a do over kinda heart. So, it get's underlined. Then, sometime later, the words something thats not right in our hearts get's written above it.

The words of the this Psalm, start changing in our minds. If, you say these words, out loud, is this not a request of God? 

For me, I come to these points in my life where God and I take off the gloves and we get real with each other. Truth be known, I'm the one getting real, cuz God always is! I have this conversation with myself about really wanting a clean heart? Wouldn't it be better if you just changed all them Lord and straighten them out?! 

So here I am...hanging out with The Word, and God shows up and I start to see my need for God to make a clean heart in me... This is something that ONLY God can do! Our part in it all? Be open and available, pay attention, be aware, and finally... let God have His way.  

Dallas Grass

We've had over 2 inches of rain since Monday afternoon. Most of it came on Monday, but we have had showers on and off since then. It's dropped the temp down some and has kept the sun from shining directly on us poor slobs. The humidity is 89% right now, but once the sun comes out from behind those clouds, I bet it jumps up to the 90+%.

I have a problem in the yard. It's called Dallas Grass. This is what Dallas grass looks like. The only thing I know that kills it is MSMA and they took it off the market last year. Another bright move by our EPA. Right up there with their ban on DDT, but that's another blog.
Wait, 2 other things I know of that will kill this stuff. Round-up, which leaves a dead spot the size of the clump you sprayed, and a shovel. Guess what I'm going to do since the ground is soft and I'm thinking the roots will be easily extracted? That's right it's Shovel Time!

You know, sin is like Dallas Grass. It's green like the surrounding grass, it is technically a grass. When you cut the grass, it get's cut with it, you know, it kind of hides in plane site. We talk about the Dallas Grass as if it's something we don't want in our yard, yet, we aren't doing what it takes to remove it. We live with it! It's unsightly, and yet, there it is in all it's glory.

When I remove these clumps of ugliness, there's no guarantee that it's going to stay gone. I may have to break out the Round-up and kill it with chemical! But I will fight it for as long as it's in my life!     

Working out & Letting go!

Once upon a time, a longer time ago than I really thought, I was in shape! I remember going to the Deep In at seminary, the sun hadn't even thought about getting up, and working out for at least an hour. Today, after about a 30 minute walk with Preacher man and Gracie, I got the "30 Day Shred" out of the box, popped it in the machine and within 20 minutes flat was, so close to death that I thought I was going to have to lay on the floor all day! Dang Jullian Michaels! 

Have you ever thought about how tired we get just from carrying our stuff around? I got to thinking about it this morning before I had my near death experience. I'm pretty amazed that we have downed sized and gotten to the point where we carry more than ever before. 

When I was growing up we had tapes, aka, cassette tapes. We had these huge boxes that we kept them in and the boxes took up at least one persons seat in the car. Our music was and is important to us, hence we carry it with us. Now, it all fits in a smart phone, which also fits in the back pocket of a pair of jeans!

I ran across this story and want to share it with you:
  
Two traveling monks reached a river where they met an attractive young woman waiting to cross. Wary of the current, she asked if they would be willing to carry her. One of the monks hesitated, but the other promptly picked her up into his arms, transported her across the river, and put her down, safely on the other bank. She thanked him and went on her way.

As the monks walked toward the monastery, one brooded, stewing in the toxic elixir of self-righteousness and envy. After an hour, unable to hold his silence, he spoke. "Brother, our spiritual training teaches us to avoid any contact with women, but you picked her up in your arms, held her very close and carried her!"

"Brother," the second monk replied, "That is all true. But on the other side of the river I set her down. It sounds to me as if you are still carrying her."

Here's my question: Are you being owned or possessed by the things you carry? Or are you able to lay them down and walk away? Do others help you remember that you need to pick things up that you have laid down? 

In a way, it's like carrying all those tapes around when we have a smart phone that holds more than the box ever could! When we lay things down, we are freed up to grab a hold of a new freedom. So I guess the question is, do you want to carry your burden or grab for freedom?

A prayer for you is that you determine in your heart and mind to go into 2013 free and determined to take steps towards walking in the footsteps that only you were designed to walk in.
Free up your hands so that you may waive them in victory over something that has been binding you up in the past.
Free up your heart so that you may love and receive love the way you desire.
Free up your mind so that you are clear about the direction your life is taking.
Free up your time so that when opportunity comes, you are ready to walk in it.
Free up the limitations you have imposed on yourself and walk boldly towards your heart's desires. ~ Terry Hershey

Different Place!

I'm in a really different place than I've ever been in before and I can tell I'll be here until I learn the lesson. What's the lesson you may ask, well if I knew, I'd be moving on now wouldn't I? 

Haven't you ever been someplace like this before? Where you know your way around, yet nothing is happening like it use to? You look in the mirror and know that person, but the things that are going on inside your head are a little on the right side of center. Then again, it wouldn't surprise me if I really was out here on the edge, alone!

I found myself sitting in a room with some people who are trying to learn more about the Bible, or at least 3 of us are. Some words were spoken that really have given me cause to think long and hard about what I stand for, or won't stand for. 

I will not stand with the world on it's views! I am called to be in the world not of the world! I want to be different than the world. When you look at me and line me up with the world, I want to stick out like a sore thumb! While I am human that doesn't give me the excuse to be like everybody else! 

I get that you don't want to judge! I have a news flash for you though...every time you get into your car, you judge. Or maybe you don't and that's why you don't have a car! 

I have written about the whole God is love, Jesus loves you thing before but I feel compelled to say once again... This is a great place to start, but they are so much more than just love! You can't just stop there and hope we will all love each other and get along. I mean, how's that working for you? Jesus didn't come so we would all get along, in fact, he said he came to cause a ruckus, paraphrasing by me!

Here's the deal, for me and maybe you. If you can't stand up for Jesus now, do you think when it's get's bad and we're persecuted, it's going to be easier? If you don't take the opportunity to study and grow deeper and wider now, do you think when stuff starts hitting the fan, your going to have lots of time to do that?

We need to love each other and call each other into account for our actions. We need to stand up for Jesus, spend time with Jesus and walk in the shadow of His cross. It's not the easy way of going about doing things but for me, it's the only way!   

I'm not a Pacifist!

Found a leak at one of the water faucets last week. Seems the handle was turned so hard that it's striped, or at least that's what Preacher man said, and I happen to believe most of what he tells me! Praying that the plumber can fix it without too much of a mess. I can hear the water dripping in the wall as I sit here and type. Which means they will be cutting a hole in the wall and I might not be able to post anything for a while, so I thought I'd get in here and getherdone!

It has become more and more apparent to me that I am just not a pacifist. As much as I want peace, and people to stop shooting each other, I just don't ever see anywhere in history or in the future of that working. Since the beginning of time, human's have been killing each other. This is by no means an excuses, but a fact. We are fallen, sinful, humans and the long and short of it is we are capable of great horror, and great bliss.


In my view, more control on guns means more control by the government. I don't want the government to have more control of my life! I don't want crazy people to shoot me either, but having more gun laws is not going to keep that from happening. 


We are less social and more "plugged in" than ever before and it doesn't seem to be going away anytime soon. Kids don't play the way "we" use to play anymore, so they don't learn how to lose. They play "games" until everyone is killed and they are the supreme being. There is no loosing! So when they grow up, this is how they play the grown up game of life.

Spending time at VBS this week has reminded me how important play is. My favorite part is the singing and dancing with hand motions! Know why? Cuz I get to act like a kid again! I get to experience the joy of play! Granted, there are kids in there that don't get it. They're still punching each other and acting a fool, but when you take time to explain the rules and tell them why we're doing this crazy stuff, they're good with it.

Now, I'm not saying that VBS will cure the worlds evils. I'm sure it couldn't hurt, but more to the point, we need to be more social. We need to spend time together and play nice. If some people don't know how to play nice, well, it's up to us that have the experience of play to show them how to do it without killing everybody! If we spend time with people and really start to care about them, we notice when they start going off the rail. People knew that the gunman in Colorado wasn't social, had issues and I'm sure things we haven't even heard yet. It should have been someones business to notice, to say something. Make it your business!


         

Are you filled?

My thoughts seem to be consumed with water lately! Did I water the dogs? Have I drank enough water today? Is it cool enough to water the yard? Just lots of water thoughts. I have the bird bath set up in the back yard, but it doesn't seem to have any takers as yet. I've been putting ice in it towards the end of the day. If I were a bird, I'd come sit in an ice bath!

We think about water more in the summer, I'm sure we use more in the summer too. I'm doing my part with as few showers as possible. My folks live by a lake, heck, I hear tell there's a river in Little Rock, I just haven't seen it yet. I love water! I'm going to bet that 98.3% of all people love water of some sort. Either lake, river, creek, ocean or pond there is a love affair with our souls and water.


I've been thinking lately, that God calls us to pour ourselves out for others. We love to be a source of filling don't we? When someone needs us to do something, that's when we love to jump into action and say things like Why of course I will come and help serve sandwiches to the hungry, and them I will mow my neighbors yard with a push mower and after that I will visit the folks at the hospital. Jesus was all about helping people in their time of need and we should be too, but my thoughts go to being filled right now. How are you being filled? Or are you even bothering? 


Something I have to watch is getting all consumed with who needs what and how I can get everything on that list done. I forget to take time to walk up to the water and just look at it. To stick my toe in and check the temp. To close my eye's and feel the water wash over me and to jump up and scream at the top of my lungs THIS IS AWESOME! To stand in the presence of the source with hands turned up and empty. To whisper fill me Lord and wait. Is there anyone in your life to show you to the source of the water? To remind you, Hey! You look and act like a desert dude, go get some water!


Letting go of what they will think, brings you to the edge of the water. Letting go of who you think you should be, brings you to the edge. Letting go is all about vulnerability! But we are afraid to be vulnerable. 


Fear tells you I'll make you safe. Love says You are safe! 


Somewhere along the way, I pray someone helps you see the beauty that comes with vulnerability. I get being scared of it, I was for a really long time. My vulnerability was a place of shame, of fear and a huge struggle with worthiness. What's so cool is in that place I also say the birth of joy, belonging, creativity, wholeness and love. 


Now, I've become somewhat passionate about vulnerability, about living into my true self, not who I created, to keep myself safe. I am all about being real. I want to jump in with both feet. But we have to take time to go to the source and get filled up. God is waiting, can you hear Him calling you? 

Salt & Light

I was reading a blog this morning by James Emery White and he had some really great points that I wish I had thought of first! I have been thinking, reading and praying about the  "culture wars". We have always been in culture wars, the folks who have forgotten that or haven't yet learned it in history need to do some research and see for themselves. I understand that you are tired of the talk about same sex marriage and how you feel that NC is now an evil state because of the way they voted against it. I'm tired of hearing how I'm the problem and I read a Bible that's out of touch with the way we live now! Adam Hamilton may be the pastor of the largest UM church in the US, but he does not speak for me! Also, the "Christian's" that yell and scream, "Your infringing on my rights" need to learn something about grace. Yelling at people has never won much that I can think of.    


THIS is where you can read White's blog. I'm going to just comment on it and say that dang, this guy is good and I happen to believe in what he's preaching. We, as Christian's, are called to be salt and light. Not acid and bulldozers! I like what White says about salt being important to keep meat from going bad. The meat (being the culture) is going to go bad, if not eaten, that's what happens. So the church is full of salt and it is to be used to arrest, stop, halt, social decay! That can't happen if the salt stays in the shaker. We have to penetrate the culture, which means we have to have a stance, understand why we believe what we do and get out there.


The other point I really like is that Jesus was offensive! I love that! He offended everybody, all the time! There are tons of preacher's out there that are wanting the lime light, they want to be seen as hip and popular. They stand on the fence, don't say enough about anything controversial, and have taught people to say, "Who am I to judge!" (Preacher man should blog about that topic!) The bottom line is Jesus dying on a cross for everybody's sin! He didn't just die to die! It was because of sin. Jesus took a stance, said what was true, refused to bring in the big guns that he had at his disposal, and he died an awful death! FOR SIN!  


Our goal is to remove every barrier that exists between such persons and their acceptance of the scandal of the cross…except the scandal of the cross!


Sin is the same today as it's always been. It hasn't changed because we have become this new smarter generation of people. We are still called to be salt and light, not acid and bulldozers or pansies and yes-men! 

Do you Linger?

What does it mean to linger? Looked it up and found: To remain or stay on in a place longer than is usual or expected, as if from reluctance to leave. Do you find that you ever do this lingering thing? Just staying a little longer after the show is over. You know when the credits roll after a movie? Sometimes those are the best missed shots of the whole thing! I have sat through shows before that moved me so much that I found I could not leave.


Do we ever do that after a church service? I mean really? Has it ever so moved you that you just sat there, not listening to your stomach, but just trying to take more of it in? We are so busy with our own lives and filling them, that we don't take the time to linger, maybe ever.


I find that I'm lingering lately. We will roll out of the driveway at 3903 W. Olive in 25 days. Something that I have waited a long time for! Yet I find that I'm lingering in the time left. I'm saying yes to lunches, even on short notice because I want to sit with these people. I'm looking at the yards when I run pass them in the mornings and if someone is out there, I say Good morning! I'm looking people in the eye and smiling at them, in order to remember them maybe.


These two years have been my deepest growing to date. I have learned about abiding, lingering, waiting, being, staying, and surrendering. I have immersed myself in the stillness of God and what he has in mind when he says Be still and know and it has been amazing. 


It could have only happened here, in this place that didn't see me, didn't really care what I had to offer. I was seen by a few, don't get me wrong, but it wasn't what I thought it was going to be and now, I'm glad. I have grown so much because of it. My root have gone so deep, but you can't tell from what stands above the ground. 


So I linger. I remember and hold close to my heart who was here for me, how I was treated, what true hospitality looked like, and I smile. Not because God is good, because he is, but because this was His plan all along! So I will linger for a few more days in the glow of what He showed me, that could have only happened here.  

Ranting!

The alarm went off way too early this morning! 4 am! Preacher man has a meeting with the Bishop about the first 100 day's in your new church! He's not the only one, everyone going to a new church as the Sr. Pastor has to go. So we got up at 4, I fixed him Bulls eye's, and off he went. Yesterday, we filled the truck with our second load of belongings to be deposited at the parsonage in Sherwood. Squatted that baby down, which is hard to do on a 4x4.


So you may be asking, What are you going to do today with Preacher man gone, and the whole day ahead of you? Well, I'll tell ya. I know for sure that I'm going to lunch with Anne and Vickie and having dinner at Tammy's, watching American Idol to see who wins. Other than that, shower, pack, read, blog maybe.


I do want to comment on GC2012 (General Conference 2012), you knew it was coming, you just didn't know when huh? Well, I said a while back, that the only thing that was going to save the Methodist church was the African church. I need to correct that by adding the Filipino church to it! I want to thank them for voting the way they did! I also would like for Adam Hamilton and Bishop Minerva Carcano to stop speaking for me!  


There very well may not be a middle ground here. What has to happen is that the church, that's you and me, has to make up it's mind which side of the fence we're going to stand on. There is no fence standing, aka luke warm church. I do foresee a split in the UM church. When that happens, what are you going to do? How are you going to get people into your church? Don't tell me that's the Preacher job either, WE are the Body of Christ, the church! 


See, part of the problem is we have tried to become everything to everybody and it's just not working. Your contemporary service may be growing, but they aren't giving cuz the Pastor doesn't want to scare them off by preaching about tithing. The lights in your church may be great at showing off your "stage" but how come the people aren't singing? You may take pride in the amount of food you give to the pantry, but when that 28 year old comes into your church on Sunday morning and tells you that her 3 month old baby just died last night at Children's hospital, and she needs to get down there, what do you do? Give her a box of noodles? Tell her you don't have any money available until Thursday? Push her off on someone who isn't as busy as you are?


It is not about entertaining people! It is about teaching the truth, no matter how it hurts, calling for repentances, a turning away from and going the other direction. It's about calling sin, sin and teaching people about grace. We, as the church, have got to get our act together and remember that Jesus was the same yesterday, as he is today, as he will be tomorrow! When I hear big name preacher say things about the Bible being written in a time that doesn't understand the time we live in, I want to scream. Just look at Rome. Super power, everybody having sex with everybody and everything they could. Moral decay at it's best, right there! 


Time is drawing short. You better know what you believe or they'll tell you. Then they will give you that stamp.     

Calling the Shots!

Graduated from The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius last night in Fort Smith. For some reason, that doesn't even sound right, mainly cuz I don't know if it's possible. A better way to say it is the formal class is now over. It's one of those times when your happy and sad all at the same time. I now have to be responsible for myself! Oh bother!


I have to say I am changed! I believe Peg and Marilyn would call it, living into my authentic self! It's a different place than any I have been through yet and I gotta tell ya, I like it! 


We were asked last night, what was the one gift we received from our 4th week, which was the end of our time. For me, it was a combination of gift's rolled into a big one. If I had to break it down, I'd say that the love I now know is so much bigger and freer! One gal said it was now in color, I like that! I want to live into this bigness and this freedom, and see what God has in mind.


I also think I'm getting that it's so much more than Jesus loves you, and God is love! I mean, they are great places to start and if that's where you are, awesome! But if your still there in a month or two, your plan might have gone off it's tracks and you might be listening to too much "all you need is love"! 


What it is about is God, not you! Dr. Fred had a great way of putting it today in his blog... 


It's about God—about God's claim to be God, about the challenge that our lives pose to God's claim to be God, and about how God ends up vindicating God's claim in the resurrection. We get to go along for the ride, but it isn't all about us. And because it isn't all about us we can't opt out or work on our own best guess about what we need. God is calling the shots.


God really is calling the shots! Our role is to be more Christ-like in our daily doings, so that we might start to see the shots that God is calling. We can run off and pout and do our own thing, shaking our fist up at God and saying, Oh and by the way, I'm not going to play anymore! But, do you really think that's going to stop God? He will still come after you and as I love to say now a day's... He will Woo you to Him! Don't get me wrong, God is love, but He's also Holy and Truth! His love is going to take you as you are, but He's not going to leave you like He found you! Have you lost your mind? Well, maybe you have! Let me be the first to let you in on this secrete plan of His, He wants to change you and grow you!


We would love to be able to say and really believe that our religious practices are private and up to us, that they have nothing to do with you and if it feels good to me, I'm going to do it. I'm here to tell you that's not how it works! It takes a community! Wort's and all, to grow us into who God wants us to be. It's messy and painful sometimes, but when we do it together, we really do see that it's so much more than Jesus loves you!

List's

So how many things are on your list to get done today? I have 10! I also have to admit, that it's from yesterday's list too. I have 5 things marked off, 2 of which belong to today! Yeah!


Do you find yourself doing that? Making list's. Do you stick with them? Mine seem to carry on for about a week, with additions and check offs. At one time, when I was running the soup kitchen, I kept my daily list on notebook paper. Yes, I had that many things to do! Now a day's, even though I seem to have a lot to do, my list is on post it notes or Marriott note thingys that they leave in the room for you to put list's on. 


I think this is where Covey got the idea for his Day Planners, of which I've had many! We just love checking things off and being organized, or at least looking like we are. 


Here are my questions: 


Do these list's hold our life in balance?
Do these list's bring us health?
Do these list's bring us closer to God?


I'm going with Maybe, Sometimes, and Probably not. In fact, if your like me, when a space opens up it's meant to be filled. 


Here's a new thought that will seem crazy to most people. Let the Holy Spirit come up with your list! I like to think that's why my list may last a week. I get it done, I just let the Spirit decide when it get's done. Take showers...please. I used to get up and first thing I did was take a shower. I would find sometimes that I wouldn't go work in the yard because I was already clean for the day, so I started putting off showers. (Preacher man still doesn't go for this!) Now I can work in the yard whenever, or at least until I take a shower.


My thinking on this is we have become so good at making our own list's that we don't leave any room for the Holy Spirit to move. This happens in a lot of churches too cuz we got to have a 2.3 minute prayer and the song has to be 5.3 minutes, the sermon needs to be cut short cuz the song ran long and no one will make it to Sunday school on time. In those churches, I think the Holy Spirit just waits to see if He's missed.

We leave tomorrow for the Woman's Walk to Emmaus, which on Mother's day in 2000, changed my whole life. This walk is at Mount Sequoyah in Fayetteville. We won't come off that mountain until Sunday afternoon and I pray that we as a team will make time for the Holy Spirit to order our day's. I have my list, my talk and prop's are ready to go, I'm packing this afternoon and I'm in a constant state of prayer, which is how God likes it.  

Shock!

Buell

I think I'm still in a state of shock. I was able to ride a motorcycle! AND pass the driving test! Got to do the written one tonight, but the big shocker came when I put my feet on those pegs and it was me and that crazy, don't want to run right, Buell! Now, it's like I told my Momma, I ain't ready to get on I-540 for probably, like, ever! but I got on that thing and rode it! I now have a totally new respect for driving in general, and will be looking for motorcycles in a whole new way. 


I'm thinking that's how God deals with us sometimes too. He teaches us something new and then watches to see if we really get. That's what has been going on with me lately. I've learned so much these past two years, and now God is watching to see if I really learned the lesson. 


Do you ever have that happen to you? You learn something, understand the importance of it, only to be tempted to revert back to the good ole way of dealing with it. This has been my time to revert, but I've been so busy paying attention to how to ride a motorcycle, that I haven't had the time to respond in like manner. So just this morning I got it, so to speak.


See, I really can't help anybody. If you don't want to be helped, hear the truth or be changed, I just don't have much for you. Jesus is who changed my life. Not self-help books, even though I've read my share of them. Not friends or family, even though some have stood in the gap for me. When I did get help, I tried to tie it to a person, but the Godly ones knew and passed on the praise to the real healer. 


My thinking is we all need help, healing, and understanding. We need someone to show us the correct way to do something, and it always helps if they know more than we do. 


I have learned so much these past two years in Rogers that I would not, nor could not have learned anywhere else. I was brought into a unfamiliar place and it was nothing like I had expected. In thinking back, I was probably warned by spiritual mentors, but I was going to be different! I was different, so different that I really didn't required a second glance. This put me in a place spiritually where I needed to be to become a spiritual director, and grow into this person that I'm just now getting to see.


I'm more than I was two years ago, heck, I'm more than I was Saturday before I got on that Buell and rode! I know who has all the answers to the questions. It took me two years in exile to be able to hear the answers, but I'm hearing them now, and I can't wait to see what the next chapter brings in help, healing and understanding. The more I learn, the more He shows me. That's why this life is a marathon and not a sprint.          

Echo of Ashes

Preacher man made it down to South Texas late last night and they are well on their way into Mexico by now. Me and the herd... well... we're working on a plan, yeah that's it, a big plan! 


I planted basil and dill in pots this morning, in fact, I beat the rain that's moving in as I write. Putting them in pots will allow a fork lift to be placed under them so they can be transported to our next location. I also took the dogs for a short walk and I had a protein shake. Got my study done and had some really awesome God time so now I guess I have to get busy with something that needs to be done. Posting a blog!


I found this is a Joyce Rupp book that I have. I know we are already pass Ash Wednesday, but I felt the need to share this with you. For me, it draws me to a deeper place, a more mindful place. I hope it does the same for you.

The Echo of Ashes

"Remember you are dust 

and to dust you shall return."

the large brown bowl

rests on a purple cloth

its roundness holding ashes

freshly burned

black and ready for wearing.

blackened thumbs

press the ancient sign

upon the waiting foreheads.

I hear the message repeated

until it haunts and hunts me down:

remember, remember, remember

you are dust, dust, only dust

someday only dust will remain.

the echo of the Lent-stained ashes

speaks the truth of my humanity:

the humbleness of my beginning,

the simplicity of my departure.

A few wise words

echoing through Ash Wednesday

urge me to deeper things:

renewed dedication,

constant compassion,

and mindful awareness.

I leave marveling

at how simple and sublime

is this envelope of the soul,

which one day returns

to dust, dust, only dust.

~Joyce Rupp~  

Organized...Not!

Packed Boxes! By Me!

I have a confession to make, I'm not very organized, like at all! I know this might throw some of you into a hysterical fit of laughter, but it is so true. If it weren't for Preacher man, I would, well, I don't know, sit around and get nothing done?


Preacher man left this morning for a mission trip in Rio Bravo, Mexico. The group is from our Northwest District and I believe there are 15 of them going. They will be building a school, a process that different mission teams are doing at different times during the year. It has done my heart good to see him get excited about doing mission work again. However, this is the first mission trip that I haven't been able to go with him and I going to veto this ever happening again!


Now, on with my lack of organizational skill. Last week, I packed 3 boxes, all by myself! I even have proof! OK, that's only 2 or the 3, but I really did 3! Here's is how these 3 boxes got packed. I sat down in from of a book shelf in the spare bedroom. This book shelf has my books on it and some notebooks that I filled up in seminary. Oh, I love books and some of these I had forgotten about and had to go flipping through them and the notebooks. An hour later I texted Preacher man and said, Houston, I have a problem! Preacher man replied, Put down the books and just pack the top shelf in the closet! Closet? Oh, yeah, I see that, OK! See, I have issues, but at least I know about them. I need direction and a set goal placed before me and I can get it done. Left to myself, I get side tracked and follow Alice down the rabbit hole! So people, when I say I've got 3 boxes done, it cause for celebration!

Now, I have all week to pack boxes! So, I walk into the room and I look around. I nod my head and I take a drink of coffee. I walk out to the garage to get a box and come back in and walk out to the porch and see that I need to fill the feeder and change the bird bath water. The dogs need rubbing and I sit down to enjoy the morning. The birds are singing up a storm this morning and as I look up at the trees to check the progress of their leafing, I see squirrels jumping from tree to tree! I love to just watch them...Crap!!! I was doing something wasn't I? I get up and get back in the house, and think on my way to the room, I should check emails before I get involved with this project. 


Pray for me!
       

Get Them In!!

I have this thought about, well church. Have you noticed that we are trying every little thing that might bring in people? Especially the collage aged folks? When I think back on that age, I had no desire to be in church. I believe the general plan, now that I look back from this side was, I was raised in church, I would run away from church, I would come back to the only thing that really filled the void I have in me! If you think about it, most collages have foundations (The Wesley Foundation) that are church based for that age group, cuz it is so hard to get them into church.


Here's my question's and my thought on this "issue". Do you really think it's the new and explosiveness that the 20-somethings are looking for? Do you think they want to be singled out and stuck in a group that consists of more of themselves? Do you think their needs and hungers are any different than your?


On thinking about this, I see that they get all the new and shiny stuff out in the world. We have the 20-something males that are moving home with their parents and staying up all night playing those war and space conquering games, possibly holding down a job, maybe going to school, and basically trying to find themselves. They don't fit into the high school classes, although we treat them like they are mature high school people, whatever that is. We play "their kind of music" in a service, yet none of them are in that service. We offer Sunday school classes that "prepare" them for the real world and wonder why they don't show up! The 20-something females seem to be fairing better or longer in collage, act like they have a plan, yet end up back home in their parents house to find themselves and get their feet under them.

I, at times, feel like I have a very old soul. The old and Holy of the church really opens my heart, that maybe part of my love for the Catholic church. However, if you know me you know I have never acted my age. In fact, I think parts of me are still about 20-something. (This would not be the physical parts!) I think young. So maybe what was once old is becoming new again.


It might be just like David Crowder said; “And the younger generation is finding that this present moment is not sufficient enough. That we need something that’s bigger than just ‘the present.’ And we need words that say something that’s bigger than the present. But we cant’ look into the future, so we look backwards and pull from what has already been said. In doing so we also realize that we’re not alone in this present moment, but in fact our history is with us.”


What once was old, is new again. Think about that. Maybe the answer is to have a blended service instead of a traditional and contemporary? Maybe we should try to make it simpler instead of so dang controlled and timed! Maybe we should let the Holy Spirit be the Holy Spirit and run the show! Who is going to die if we run late because people wanted prayer? Is it you? Then get your butt out of there and go get in line for lunch before someone else get's in front of you! Me, I'm sticking around for the prayer and the moving of the Holy Spirit! 


Come Lord Jesus Come!