April showers!

April showers huh? I swear, I'm sure if my rain gauge hadn't frozen and broke, I would be having a cow keeping up with the amount of rain that has fallen this spring. I'm trying hard not to be critical about it and fall into the bitching mode, as seems to be the norm, but dang, we've had a lot of rain!

Other things that have been happening, besides working my self half to death, is the garden is in! That's right, I have the whole complete garden in the ground and by the shear grace of God, and living on a sandy river bank, it has not died of too much water. To the left is what it looks like right now. If you look real close you can see some cukes coming up!

I do love spring, I think I say that about ever season! I have to admit though, I hate pollen! The yellow covering that happens for the whole month of April is just about enough to throw me into a sneezing fit!

I spent most of the day at my folks house helping put their garden in. That has got to be the high point of living here. Spending tie with them! 

I spent time in the sun today and it helped my mood. I have to admit to St. Ignatius of Loyola, I am in the third week of the spiritual exercises. The suffering with Christ. I forget sometimes that I'm with Christ in this suffering. It's so lonely and hard to feel like anyone is with you. But like the seeds I have planted in the dirt that must die before becoming what they were born to be, I wait. 

It's so very hard to wait. So much easier to run ahead and do what I know feels right.

But I wait. 

With the seeds.

In the dirt.

   

Random

So, did I tell you it's started?

Yes, we've been invaded by giant jars of pickles! Ok, not really, but the cuke's are starting to come on. Last week we had surprisingly cool weather for July. I think one morning it was 58 degrees, which, by the way, doesn't happen in July in Arkansas! Or at least it didn't use to happen. Just when the plants were kicking into high gear, it get's cold and slows everything down except the mosquitoes. I hope that everything recovers and we start kicking it again real soon.

I got a job,did I tell you? I'm a cashier at a convenient store. I have to admit this is the first job of it's kind for me and I'm excited to add it to the other 986 thousand things I've done to earn money in my life time. Yes, I'm over qualified for this but, what's a girl to do? I'd like to give a shout out to April and Anne..."You taught me everything I know about up selling!"

I ordered a new pair of running shoes on line yesterday. I know right! What am I thinking ordering running shoes on line? Well, it's like this, I can't find anyone to take my feet and go try some on! I was wondering why my feet were hurting me after I ran and then I looked at the bottom of the shoes... They are fixing to turn into work shoes.

Things have truly been calm around here lately! I think it's because my 20 hour a week job is working me close to 38 hours every week and all I can do is fall into bed at night and sleep. Through it all, this is still how I look at most things!

Garden Machine

This here is a rototiller! Not just any rototiller either. This bad boy belonged to my Grandaddy. He used it for years! Some time ago, he gave it to my Dad, who also used it for years. The glorious thing about this tiller is it works, like a charm. You do the checking of gas, oil, choke, and pull the rope and BAM, it's starts. 

Now, it's been a few years since it's been used, but Preacher man and I held out hope. He checked everything, gave it a pull, and nothing. Took the breather off, wow, that might be the problem. Cleaned that up, check the spark plug, pull the rope and do you know that within 3 pulls that thing started right up and went to work!

I then set out to make my rows and prepare a soil sample to be taken to the extension office so we can see if we need to add anything to the soil. I have planted onions, radishes and lettuce and I wait as they are working on looking their heads through this awesome soil. 

Did I tell you I had awesome soil? Of my gosh, it's beautiful stuff! You have to remember that before the damn went up 50 years ago, this was river bottom. Yeah, that's right, beautiful river bottom soil. Makes me want to go outside and roll around in it.

Gracie beat me to it!

The healing has begun. It's slow and it's not too steady, but at least it's started. For me, it's about going where you know you've met God before and hanging out. So if you need me, I'll be in the yard.

Tiller!!

I'm so excited!!! Look what happened at our house yesterday!!! A random dude showed up on a tractor and tiled my garden. OK, not really, this is Charlie and his tractor. I covent his tractor. I can't even put into words how excited I am about this! The smell of dirt, the seeds that need to be planted, the pure enjoyment of breaking ground it just sends me into fits of hap-hap happiness!

This area of ground will end up being a place I spend quality time in. It will be a place of work and rest. A place to get frustrations out on and from. I will be on my knees, bending my back, lifting and toting and enjoying every minute of it. 

I am glad that the season is changing and we are waking up from our longer than normal winter's nap! No, I don't know where my summer clothes are but at this point I'll work in my winter stuff. 

This is also how God is working in my life. I have closed down and sealed up all of who I am. I have placed a protective barrier over the ground of my heart and have let the leaves of a past life pile up and cover what use to be there. But God is getting on his tractor and he's firing that engine up. I see him coming down the road towards my closed down, sealed up soul and I can't do anything but stand there and watch.

As he lowers that tiller down, it sits on top of my ground, and he looks over at me with a twinkle in his eye. 
You ready for this? 
Surly we can do this another way!
He gives the machine a little punch of gas, looks at the sky and says 
It's perfect weather for breaking open some ground.

It's never easy, but it's always doable. Yea, it's going to require. . . me. 
I'm excited and scared and right where God needs me to be. 
I am enough, I am enough, just as I am, I am enough!  

Random Things!

Wilmore KY

I think I have confused a few folks with some pictures so I'm going to take this time to straighten you all out, in case your confused.

This is a picture of our house when we lived in Kentucky. It's over 150 years old, has newspaper as insulation in the walls and is what I would consider to be a money trap. However, this is where I had the best garden ever! The picture of me in front of all the pickles? That's at this house!

Heber Springs AR

I haven't posted a picture of the house we are in here in Heber. I was going to wait until this spring when something was blooming and we had the chance to get mom and dad's power washer and go to town on this thing. This house has sat empty for close to 2 years and that might be how long those leaves have been on the ground. I'm sure as soon as it warms up some, I'll be out there going crazy! Who am I trying to fool? I've already been out there and it's going to be a big job! Here is a shot from the road at the front of the house. It's on a corner lot and has way too may trees, pine and pin oak, and leaves, but it's home and we will improve on it just like we have with every place we've lived.



We burned leaves the other day, right before the burn ban was put into effect. There is something special about burning leaves. I haven't figured it out yet, but when I do, I'll let you know. Unless you happen to know what is so special about it. If you do, by all means let me know!


Gracie has been loven life here! She loves burning leaves. This is how she looks when we are burning, cute huh?

Anyway, another day has dawned here in the Valley and we're going to be doing something today, we just don't know what yet! 

Peace!

Weary!

Butterfly on flower!

I have a confession to make, I'm weary! It was less of a weight last week, but this week it's full blown heavy! Let me look that up real fast to make sure I'm using the right word. Yep, it's the right word. Feeling or showing tiredness, esp, as a result of excessive exertion or lack of sleep. For me this means; more than necessary physical or mental effort. I think I can throw in emotional and spiritual effort too. 

I found it very interesting that in talking with my spiritual director he suggested that I look at weary and ask why it's hanging around. 

Have you ever thought about doing something like asking your weariness why it's there? Well, up until a few years ago, ok it may have been months, I had never thought about doing anything but begging God to take it away from me. 

So I've been asking weary; What is your intent here? How long is the duration going to last? What do I need to do to make you go away!?

The answers I seem to be getting are: Invitation, as long as it takes, pay attention.

I'm going to do more asking. I'm also going to step back and see if the view is any better from back there.
  

Neighborhood Watch!

The neighbors are gone to Branson for the week and while they have someone taking care of the place until Thursday at 10 am, which is when our time starts, I still have to keep an eye on things. 

You have to understand, there are more animals at that house than there are people! Let's see, we have Mattie and Dot, which are the 2 dogs, Loki, Scout and Sally which are cats. Wait, disclaimer, Loki is a cat, the other 2 are kitten's. We can't forget my 15 chicken friends, who have names I'm sure, I just don't know them yet.

Part of my job as a neighbor is to take veggy food scrapes to the chicken friends about twice a day, if I have it. If I get there first, I let the girls out of the hen house and almost get stamped with chicken feet as they scamper to the scrapes. 

The other day, we had over an inch of rain fall in like 30 minutes. Both Sally and Scout were outside and Scout literally doesn't have enough sense to get in out of the rain. Sally was under a car. However, these kittens do come when they are called and if it sounds like fun.

Sunday after service, I was standing in the Narthex talking with some folks and I saw Sally run up to the front doors of the church, and kinda stretch on the windows. I thought, Sally... Do you need you some Jesus?

I didn't take the opportunity to explain the Roman Road to Sally, however, I did pick her up and carry her back to the yard she is suppose to be staying in.

On a sad note, my cuke's have mildew and it looks like the pickling will be coming to an abrupt halt.       

Dallas Grass

We've had over 2 inches of rain since Monday afternoon. Most of it came on Monday, but we have had showers on and off since then. It's dropped the temp down some and has kept the sun from shining directly on us poor slobs. The humidity is 89% right now, but once the sun comes out from behind those clouds, I bet it jumps up to the 90+%.

I have a problem in the yard. It's called Dallas Grass. This is what Dallas grass looks like. The only thing I know that kills it is MSMA and they took it off the market last year. Another bright move by our EPA. Right up there with their ban on DDT, but that's another blog.
Wait, 2 other things I know of that will kill this stuff. Round-up, which leaves a dead spot the size of the clump you sprayed, and a shovel. Guess what I'm going to do since the ground is soft and I'm thinking the roots will be easily extracted? That's right it's Shovel Time!

You know, sin is like Dallas Grass. It's green like the surrounding grass, it is technically a grass. When you cut the grass, it get's cut with it, you know, it kind of hides in plane site. We talk about the Dallas Grass as if it's something we don't want in our yard, yet, we aren't doing what it takes to remove it. We live with it! It's unsightly, and yet, there it is in all it's glory.

When I remove these clumps of ugliness, there's no guarantee that it's going to stay gone. I may have to break out the Round-up and kill it with chemical! But I will fight it for as long as it's in my life!     

Lesson's from Ava!

I was watching my friend Ava the other day, and I asked myself the question; When did I stop believing in myself? What happened and when did it happen? All I know is I started believing what others thought was right and what I knew was wrong? Ava has a song going on in her head at all times. She talks to flowers, dogs, chickens and people in a way that makes them all feel special. Then, she turns and does a little leap with a few circles, and off she goes.

I can do that, but at times, it's hard, because I've believed the lie that I'm wrong and they are right. It's like my self worth is wrapped up in what people think. The killer is they are the unimportant people in my life! So why and when does this happen?

I guess I heard it somewhere, Oh what do you know your; too young, a girl, unset, immature, too old, uneducated, too educated, new, too emotional. The long and short of it is, yes, at one time or another, all of these things have been or are true. Then I remembered something, I am the beloved! The most precious child of the King! The only thing that matters is I listen to His voice and what he has to say about me.

It's hard at times, cuz everyone else's voice is louder and their remarks are not nice and it just hurts. So, I'm having a small pity party for myself, but it started last week. I'm thinking it's time to be done with it and get on with the real matters at hand. Picking cuke's making pickles, changing the sign, having a lunch meeting, and meeting a friend after work. I need to decompress and talk to my dog, my plants, feed my chicken friends, do a little leap and a few circles and off I go!  

Game Changer!

I've got a list as long as my arm of things that need to be done, and then I remember I have to change the church sign! Oh bother! I'll just run through the garden before I do that...

This is a game changer people! Let the craziness begin! I just bought all the dill that Wal-Mart had, must get to Kroger's.

On a side note folks, Posts may be few and far between for a while, or I might just have to share in this crazy pickle making time!  

Canape'

It's happening again! I say that like it happens all the time, when in-fact, I can't remember the last time it really did happen. Let me think on that a minute... Wow, I guess it never has happened like this so maybe I'm just saying it's happening again to sound like I know what I'm taking about. Let me splane.

I've been growing things for a long time. When Preacher man and I left Colorado, I had to leave behind plants I had been growing, longer than I had known him! It's just something that I love to do and the fact of the matter, I'm good at it. Let me get back to what's happening.

The canapé! When you plant in rows, there comes a time when the plants start to cover up the row where you would walk. This is good, because it cuts down on the weeds, and water needed. When you grow in a raised bed, this isn't a big issue. 

This is the raised bed garden Preacher man made for me in Wilmore KY. No real canapé issues going on here, cuz the plants are growing up the fence.

 This is the garden a few weeks ago. See the weeds and the space between the plants?

This is the garden this morning! I know, your impressed huh? In the middle pic, do you see the fences posted Preacher man put up for me? The precious cucumber plants will grow up the fence and I will TRY to direct them to the back of the garden, towards Sonya's house, and from there onto another fence that runs around the yard. What's the point again? Oh yeah, canapé! See in the last picture where the cuke's have climbed up the fence? This is two rows coming together and they have created a canapé. I will not have to weed there until the plants die in the winter!

What I started out saying about it's happening again is also about how the cuke's are reaching out to the beans and the tomatoes, and if I stand there long enough...ME! 

Pickle Dance!

I have really good intentions, I promise I do! I try to get down here to post, but with the heat coming on, I get out in the yard or the church yard first thing in the morning and next thing I know, the day is gone, no post! 

Since I have been spending so much time out in the garden, let me share some pictures with you!

About 2 weeks ago!

I went out today and gathered the cuke vines to climb up the fence and saw a lot of yellow flowers! So upon closer inspection this is what I found!

Baby Cuke!

So that put's me in the kitchen in July boiling brine and filling jars! I am having issues with loading other pictures so you will have to come back later to see. I am off to do the pickle dance to celebrate the baby cuke! 

Yard of Life

As I sit on the back porch, I see it as a snap-shot into life. There is hard work just down the stairs, into the garden, or there is rest if I stay put. When we take the chance to walk out into the garden, we find weeds, roots that don’t belong, big and small rocks, and soil that is holding it all, good and bad. 

Our life's are like that, they have things in them that take effort to remove. The rocks and weeds don’t have to be taken out mind you. They can stay right where they are and if we’re lucky, people will think the weeds are grass if we don’t let them get too close. In fact, it might be easier to just stay on the porch and watch from a distance.


God calls us, He woo’s us, to come down into the garden of our life and to get messy with Him. There is no doubt about it, life, church, relationships...they are all messy, but God will go with us and help us to sort out the weeds and rocks from the soil and worms. 

God will never take us anywhere we don’t want to go. If we want to stay on the porch and have people look at our gardens from a distance, that’s just were we’re at, and God will let us stay there. If we really want to see what’s going on in our garden, if we want to try to grow some plants that will give fruit, then we’re going to have to go down those stairs, into the yard and get messy. Intimacy begins here, in the place where we just come and we “be” with God in our messiness.

I invite you to walk out into your yard of life, and to start out by just looking. Come down off the porch and just walk around with God. He has things to show you if your ready to see them.