Bumps in the Road.

It happens every summer, or maybe I should say that it happens almost every summer. We get a "Summer song!" Now, I know we are still in the strong holds of winter, but we have found our summer song! It's new but I'm sure if you love Despicable Me as much as I do, you have heard this song! 

Click Here!

It's Happy by Pharrell Williams and it's also the song from Despicable Me 2. Hearing this song makes me flat out happy! Preacher man and I downloaded it last night, and danced ourselves silly! You can not listen to this song and not be changed!

We should have things like this song in our lives to help us get over the bumps in the road. I don't want things in my life that halfway work, or show up for part time involvement. If I need help, I want help. No messing around! 

Right now, I believe I'll be listening to a lot of this song! Where we are right now is where the rubber hits the road, and it's hard. In all honesty, I don't think any of this journey is going to be a cake walk. Seems like the more you trust God, the more you need to trust God. Dah! 

Discernment is work, and it's work that requires all of you, and it wears you out. I feel like everyday, we start over again from scratch. I look at the insurmountable barriers that lay between us and a church plant… and I gasp. It's enough to make you take that job just so some money is coming in, even though you know that's not what is required. 

We are reopening A Workman Services. She has laid dormant for 7 years, while we were learning combat tactics. This is by no means the way we planned any of this ministry to happen…But God! We are grateful for His plan for our life. 

We are also in the process of discerning what our ministry is going to look like. It's crazy, really it is. How many people do you know that do this kinda stuff? We talk about listening to God and going where He leads, even if it's uncomfortable. So here we are.

So here's the deal: You gotta have things in your life that help get you over the bumps in the road. God has given us the ability to be moved by music. When you need some help over the bump that's appeared in the road, find that song, that summer song, and dance your feet off friend! There is a plan, you just aren't in charge!     

Weary!

Butterfly on flower!

I have a confession to make, I'm weary! It was less of a weight last week, but this week it's full blown heavy! Let me look that up real fast to make sure I'm using the right word. Yep, it's the right word. Feeling or showing tiredness, esp, as a result of excessive exertion or lack of sleep. For me this means; more than necessary physical or mental effort. I think I can throw in emotional and spiritual effort too. 

I found it very interesting that in talking with my spiritual director he suggested that I look at weary and ask why it's hanging around. 

Have you ever thought about doing something like asking your weariness why it's there? Well, up until a few years ago, ok it may have been months, I had never thought about doing anything but begging God to take it away from me. 

So I've been asking weary; What is your intent here? How long is the duration going to last? What do I need to do to make you go away!?

The answers I seem to be getting are: Invitation, as long as it takes, pay attention.

I'm going to do more asking. I'm also going to step back and see if the view is any better from back there.
  

Take the Step!

During a rock-climbing lesson, Dan Clark stops on the vertical incline, as if paralyzed.
He writes, "I could see an outcrop for my right foot, but no place where I could place my hands or left foot."
Yes, he felt stuck. Hopeless perhaps.
The instructor, not far from Dan on the face of the incline, tells him, "Take the step."
"Are you crazy?"
"Once you lift yourself up you may find something you can't see from where you stand."
"Well what happens if I don't find anything?" Dan asked.
"If you don't find anything, " the instructor says calmly, "fall back on the harness and try it again."

This story fills me with hope! At some level it also freaks me out, to fall back, as in...to let go. Of our expectations or our stuck way of seeing and thinking. It's a message that comes to us when we need it most, if we will but listen.

Take the step, give it a try, see what you can see from a new place. It's like at any given moment, we have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end! I mean, what's the worst thing that can happen? You fall back and try again!

Fear will keep us stuck if we let it. Once we see fear for what it truly is, a lie, we are able to take that step and see things from a different place. Sadly, this is where some churches live, stuck in the fear to take a step, any step, in any direction. We've always done it this way! (Still the words of a dying church) These are words of fear. I refuse to let fear have a grip on me! I know the truth and it set's me free, to take that step!

Notice

I leave tomorrow for beloved St. Scholastica, where I will be involved in a retreat given by Sister Rachel called "Waiting with Mary". I will then travel to Bella Vista to deliver BBQ sauce and spend the evening with Anne. Back at the monastery on Friday for class on Saturday then home again. So I'm getting my books and clothes in order and just trying to get things done around the house to prepare for the open house next week. I don't know why we do these things to ourselves, but we do!

While preparing for class I ran across an article William J. Connolly, S.J. called Noticing Key Interior Facts in the Early Stages of Spiritual Direction. Some of what he says stands out to me, actually, most of what he says stands out to me, he's awesome!

One of the reasons that people seek spiritual direction is become they find themselves stuck. Their prayer life isn't going anywhere, they aren't excited about God anymore, it's just dry and lonely. What I think we forget is that the Christian life is reception of and response to God's initiatives. We don't make any of this happen, at all! God does it, starts it, follows through with it, and brings it to completion. However, we must be apart of the dialogue, not only with our words, but also with our lives.

So what does that mean? Or look like? Or maybe even sound like? If Christian life is reception and response, conscious growth in Christian life will depend on noticing God's action and one's own response. Think about it; you can go through life and never notice that God is calling you to a certain vocation, a certain relationship, or anything else for that matter. I believe it's because we give to much credit to ourselves. Someone, somewhere said "God help's those who help themselves", not Biblical forks! Anyway, the point being, or the question I'm asking is: Are you noticing? We can grow consciously, humanly, and spiritually if we notice what is happening in our hearts.

During this time of rushing around, trying to be all things to all people, let's just stop and notice what's really going on in our hearts. Just start with something small, but start. Notice how you react to things asked of you. What happens when they expect you to do... How do you respond? When your responding, how does it feel in your heart? What is God saying to you in that moment? 

Ladders and Walls!

I spent the better part of three hours reconnecting with a friend yesterday and it opened my eyes to a ton of things I had either forgotten, or dismissed. One of which is how women need to remember how to be women.

It's really pretty funny, cuz I was a huge feminist growing up. Trying to prove all the time that I could do anything a guy could do! After I found out in climbing the ladder to success, my ladder was leaning up against the wrong wall, I fell rather fast to the ground and had to start rethinking my live and what I was really after. So many of us just stay on the ladder, even when we see that it's not working out the way we had dreamed. I'm thankful for my fall, now, not so much when it was happening.

I started to learn something about the way we women are made and don't think I've shared this before so here we go with a few things we know as women, but might have forgotten!

We were made as caregivers! It is something that comes as easy as breathing. Now, some of us are better at it than others and that's fine. We are social and want to connect everyone to everything and in the process we care about others. When I fell off my ladder and started getting real with myself and God, I found out I was pretty dang good at this caregiver stuff. I found this out very quickly after I started working at the soup kitchen. I got to looking and low and behold, 95% of my volunteers that came in and cooked and cared for the people, were women. The 5% that were men, were my board leaders, food pick up and maintenance.

Another case in point story. I was completely blown away one day when I had cleaned the parsonage, played in the yard, and had dinner ready for Preacher man when he got home. The look on his face when he walked through the house and smelled dinner, was worth an amount that I still can't put a price on! I had shown care for him by doing what was becoming my job. In all honestly, it has always been my job. I had balked against it for so many years, cuz I was a woman with more education than you could shake a stick at! Anyone could take care of a house, I wanted to climb that dang ladder that was leaning up against the wrong wall! 

This has been part of my wake up call from God. My job is to care for my husband, AKA Preacher man! Because I am saying ok to this God given design, He is blessing me with a ministry! I am freed up enough to be able to sit down with others and listen to where they are on their spiritual journey and walk beside them. Just in the past week, I have shared in tears of joy, calmness that has come straight from God, frustration that has been self made, and rekindled a relationship that I believe will turn into something so much bigger than either of us can get our heads around right now! All I really did was be available to listen, which is a God given gift (those of you who know me, have seem the change!). 

To think it all started when I fell off the ladder that was leaning up against the wrong wall and I allowed God to reshape me into the woman he had planned all along! 

Saved

I'm trying hard to remain full of joy and hope. Tomorrow is a big day with the election and all. But in the world I live in there are saints to bury and people to love, no matter how they vote. I have BBQ sauce to make and label, a house to clean, people to hug and a Preacher man to support, so forgive me if I don't stop everything to bitch and moan. I will vote tomorrow and I will do it as a right of living in this country and I will listen to how God is calling me to fill in the blank. I found this today and thought it might be nice to share! 

           Before I vote, I'll remind myself of Daniel Berrigan's "Credo."

I can only tell you what I believe; I believe:
I cannot be saved by foreign policies.
I cannot be saved by the sexual revolution.
I cannot be saved by the gross national product.
I cannot be saved by nuclear deterrents.
I cannot be saved by aldermen, priests, artists,
plumbers, city planners, social engineers,
nor by the Vatican,
nor by the World Buddhist Association,
nor by Hitler, nor by Joan of Arc,
nor by angels and archangels,
nor by powers and dominions,
I can be saved only by Jesus Christ.

So, Yeah Jesus!

Napping!

Do you fight against napping? I have to admit, that I do. I don't really know the reason but I have spent most of this day trying to figure it out! In other words, I'm looking for someone to blame.

Napping, at the onset, seems like such a waste of time! I mean, stuff could be getting done, people could be ordered around, dogs could be washed, yard work done, something cleaned up, you know...work!

But, after a day of an hour and 44 minute nap I have to say... I needed it! I want to know who came up with this, and I want to tell them, Hey, Nap dude! Thanks, good job! Nothing got done during that time and after the said nap, I can say I don't care! Here are a few reason's why!

1. We drove to Memphis on Friday to pick up the newest member of our family, "Lil Whls". That's 2 1/2 hours there, sign your life away, and 2 1/2 hours home! BTW, we put the top down in Forrest City and got a mad wind/sun burn, which sucks the life out you. 

B. I had to get up at 4 am on Saturday to drive to Fort Smith for my Practicum I class. That's 2 1/2 hours there, learn lots, eat a taco, and 2 1/2 hours home!

III. Sunday is a work day at the Preacher man's house. I have found out that a Preacher really does need a nap.

Y? Well, I'm getting to the place where I believe God wants us to rest. Napping has been voted in as resting. See, God can speak to you when your well rested, he can speak to you any dang time he wants, but we hear better when we're rested. That might be why so many people don't hear from God, they haven't slowed down enough to rest in His presence.

Do you have a porch swing? I know why God made porch swings! So we could rest with Him, in rhythm and at a slower pace with nature. The back and forth of the swing is enough to lull you to nap time isn't it? Have you ever been upset and sat in a porch swing? Whoa Nelly!! Now that's just crazy motion! However, if you will wait it out, the swing will begin to melt away your issues so that nature and God can take over and bring you comfort.

I encourage you to nap! I also call you to the porch swing where life slows down and God speaks, or at least we are able to hear from that place of rest. 

Resting

It has cooled off and I am loven being on the back porch! I just can't get over how I have missed not sitting in a pool of sweat!

I'm sure, like the rest of the country, you know that school has started back. Less than a half a block away is our elementary school and behind that and down the road a little is the high school. We have one of the best kept secret roads in Sherwood that runs right by the house to the schools. Needless to say the teachers know about it and we can see their parking lot from the porch. I can tell you right of the bat that teachers are paid well by seeing what they drive! And it seems that they can afford speeding tickets too!

Why do we have to get in such a hurry? I was talking with a neighbor last night and she was telling me about how she wishes it was November already. If it could already be November, I would have already lived through all the changes that are fixing to happen, I would be on the other side. When we think like this, we miss out on the blessing that are going to happen today. I understand where she's coming from, I get sucked into that thinking too, but I'm learning that now is the best place to be, if your really there.

With Preacher man preaching on the Sabbath and keeping it Holy, it really helps to start to see why God wants us to rest. It's so hard for us to let go of what we feel must get done, even on our Sabbath. God commanded us to rest! Think about that for a minute, women. When are you resting? I told Preacher man for years before he was Preacher man, that we could rest in Heaven! Don't get me wrong, there is a part of me that would love to just sit around and do nothing. 

God wants us resting, I believe, so we will let down our walls. Then, He might be able to speak with our hearts. When we take the time to just sit and Be, we are slowing our whole self's down so that things can get in. That's why people who have lost a spouse have to stay busy, cuz they don't want the memories to  surface and their hearts to start hurting again. What we forget is that God is there ready to help with that if we would but ask. 

When we slow down and take time to look for God, we will find Him! If you start your day by talking to God, ask Him to show up somewhere during the day, and then you start looking. You will stay in the present and not be ready for November to already be here. You will find God in nature even if you live in a city. You will hear his voice when a friend takes the time to talk, in a song on the radio, or when the door is held open for you. 

Come into the silent presence of God and ask for the light in discovering the traces of God's presence and absence in our life.    

Being about Doing

I pray for the grace to be in God's presence, in all of my doing Lord - Help me be. 


So does that mean I sit around reading books thinking about pie in the sky? How would I ever get anything done? The yard would be a mess, I'd never shower, (that sounds ok for a few days) and Preacher man wouldn't have any clean clothes!


To be in God's will and presence... at all times. That's a tall order, or is it?


I believe God wants me to have an ordered house - it's good for Preacher man, it's good for when people come over without calling 2 days in advance. I mean, God is a God of order, so this makes sense to me. However, I don't believe he wants me to be all crazy about it like my friend Anne use to do. She would vacuum and them jump on furniture to keep from flattening out the carpet. That's crazy! God doesn't want me to get sucked into the doing, he wants me to be about it. If something comes up, I'm free to stop and be with what came up.


I have found that at times, (long ago) I have become too ridged in doing. It then becomes more about doing the task than being with God. It can be at work or just here at home. I forget that my job is to take care of this home and Preacher man. I don't want to do it so  I'm miserable, I want to find the joy in being about the care.


It's the Mary and Martha thing again! Martha was too involved with the doing when it should have been more about the being with Jesus. They probably thought Jesus was going to be around for years and years. There would always be time to be at his feet. 


I have my whole life to figure this being thing out, but I don't want to put it off till the last minute. I want to be about keeping an ordered home and being with Jesus while I'm doing it!    

Silence?

Why do we find it so hard to be in silence? I think we just might be afraid of it. Have you ever been around someone in the hospital and tried not to talk so much? Or had a friend that was going through a really hard time and been able to just sit with them in silence. Sometimes nothing is the very best thing you can say, as opposed to It's going to be ok. or God is teaching you a lesson. While these thing maybe true, I don't think they need to be said or heard for that matter.


I can't tell you how many people think I'm plumb crazy to spend an hour in pray. I've heard everything from I talk to God for 10 minutes than I'm done. to I fall asleep after 3 minutes. Now let me just state, an hour is something you need to work up to. Try starting with 15 minutes! Try starting for that matter. 


I think that words that don't come from silence are probably not worth saying. They are more like words that need to be unloaded than they are communication. I can talk about this cuz I used to be the champ at this, and sometimes...I still am.


Take a Psalm, any one of them, and read it out loud, then just sit with it. Don't start talking to God, just sit there and reread it slowly. Ask God what he has to say to you, then just sit there and keep your corn-hole shut! After 15 minutes, get up and go on with your day. The next day do the same thing. See if you don't start hearing that still small voice inside of you.


Blaise Pascal said all human evil comes into the world because people can't sit still in a chair for thirty minutes! I don't know if that's true, but it could be. Maybe what he's saying is when we run from silence we run from our souls, ourselves, and therefore, from God. Richard Rohr says if he was to advise one thing for spiritual growth, it would be silence. I agree with that more now than I ever have before. 


Maybe that's why as we get older, we listen more and speak less. It's not that we have less to say, in fact, I would bet we have more to say. It's that the others need to unload their words on us. I'd like to think that as you unload your words, you would be making space to receive in silence. If we don't take time to be in silence, how do we ever expect to receive?     

No Time!

Let nothing upset you,

Let nothing startle you.

All things pass;

God does not change.

Patience wins all it seeks.

Whoever has God lacks nothing:

God alone is enough

~Teresa of Avila

How come we can't go through our day's living this out? Or can we? What does it take to live out this short passage from Saint Teresa? After hearing some of the things going on at General Conference, I believe that the only thing for certain is God!

Most of us live in a state of upheaval that goes from one crisis to the next without taking time to rest! We don't take time to sit down and look over what has been happening in our life, cuz there isn't time for some reason and we don't understand why. I hear it often...I would love to change but I don't have the time...There aren't enough hours in the day for... To this I say Horse poop!

God has given us enough hours in the day, we are the ones who cram too much into them. I'm just as guilty as you, or I should say I use to be. OK, I am, but I'm working on it. Why do we think we have to do all that stuff? Who said we did? And where are those people that invented the list?

We are scared to death to slow down aren't we? We're afraid that someone will get ahead of us or have more cute clothes or a better hair style, or their children will be smarter. Have you heard that parents are holding their kids back from starting kindergarden so they will be older in their class and smarter? These are the same vein of parents that don't make their kids work in the summer and then can't figure out why they have no work ethic. We want ever advantage we can get in order to compete with the world.

I'm done with it! I really am! My life is so much better now that I'm out of the rat race! I got to thinking what God had in mind when he made me, and while I can do whatever I set my mind to, my mind was not thinking on what it should have been thinking on. I want beauty and the sound of water in my life. I want to dry people tears and show them the real hope in their life. I have walked their path and I'm so glad I jumped off and decided to play in the flowers!

We don't have to live like this, really we don't! All things pass! I promise! Take that cup of coffee, or glass of wine out on the porch and just listen. The baby birds are learning to fly right now! Can you hear them? God does not change! Slow down, hear what the creator of the world has to say to you! Your the one that's too busy to hear, He's speaking!  

Narrative

Do you wake up everyday like it's a new one? Or is it a repeat of what yesterday held part 643? I think on a whole, the world wants us to be on repeat mode. Something like, today is Friday, I will eat, x,y and z, get paid, see "them" and drink too much it hopes that it will change what tomorrow will be. So how's that working for you so far?


So much of the time we get up holding onto the same things we went to sleep with. The attitudes, grudges, and pre-formed idea's of what the day will hold. Is that really all there is? Marketers have been holding this idea for a long time and bank on our feelings and grudges. It's how they sell us that new car, these cool clothes and that bottle of happiness. 


I get the point, if you go to sleep as a middle management team player, you will most likely wake up the same, but is that helpful? Think about it for a minute, is that all you want from life right now? Is that all your willing to give? You take you 1.6 vacations a year, you eat at the same places with the same people, you do the narrative of your life so well that it's boring! Isn't it?


But doing something different is scary! What if I fail? What if I get rejected or humiliated? I could loose everything I've worked so hard for, then what? No that's just too out of the box for me!


The truth is, if you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting! That my friend is the bottom line! The question might be, Is this part of my long-told story narrative, or is it a good decision? Is it what I do out of default, or is this something that I've been called to do.


See, this is what makes ministry so insanely cool! You know where you've been, you heard that voice calling you to the more, and you took a risk! The greatest part of this... The voice calls us all! Yet, the narrative of your life, the safety, the everyday knowing, it calls you too.


I'm not saying it can be done in one day, heck, I've been at this crazy ministry stuff for well on 13 years now. Yet, when I got started, it was scary. Dang, it's still scary! We did have a lot, according to the world. But that voice, that calling, it just didn't give up. 


See, you make a decision for Christ and you think it stops there. For some people, it does. They are the ones who are happy with going to church once a week and maybe Sunday school, if there isn't a game on. But, he asks you to make another decision, a decision for more. Jesus will ask you, your whole life to give him more, Every time to give him more, there he is, asking for more again. The groovy part is, the more you give, the more you get. It's the whole paradox of Jesus and his teaching.


I was done with middle and upper management a long time ago. I'm here to say it can be done and it can be done with gusto! I wake up in a new world everyday! I repeated yesterday long enough! I don't need that new car, cuz the truck still runs. I love wearing my old clothes, cuz they are comfortable. That bottle of happiness, well it ran dry a long time ago. I'm changing my narrative, cuz I'm listening to the call. 


How bout you? Did you hear that?
             

Disappointment

So what do we do when we're disappointed? I am painfully aware of what I use to do and how I want that to change, like right now. Seems that old habits or ways of reacting are hard to change. What makes it even harder, is that I deal better with my own disappointed, than with someone else's. I'm at a loss of how to deal with that. 


For my stuff, I run and talk to God. I listen for what He's telling me in the small and big things of life. I always hear Him saying, I got this! I got you! But when it's a disappointment that effects, say Preacher man, I feel like I've donned my Wonder Woman out fit and I'm flying out the door headed towards all the bad guys that have caused this issue! I vent and foam at the mouth and really make a rather ugly scene, even if it really is all in my mind. I grab hold of the control stick and I go after it.


That's when it hits me smack in the face and I cock my head to the side a little, squint my eyes and look to the heavens asking, Is there a lesson here? Are you teaching me something, yet again? And that's when I see Jesus smile at me and hear God laugh, not so much at me, as with Jesus.


We all go through Disappointments, it's how we respond and react to them that's the rubber hitting the road. I got the ole' way down pat, it's this new way that I'm reaching for. Mainly cuz the ole' way doesn't do much good, and the fact that Jesus is calling me to a new way of doing things. He's calling me to be Preacher man's help mate, supporter and lifter upper. I have the awesome job of being the under pinning of a man that is listening to God and following His lead. It's not my job to fix the problems, that would be between Jesus and Preacher man. My job is to love him even when I want to shake him. To follow him, even when I think I know better where we are headed. To listen, instead of talk, even when he doesn't talk about it.


My heart is overwhelmed God! Lead me to the rock that is higher than I! Put your arm around my shoulder and cover my mouth with your hand. Help me stay out of the Wonder Woman out fit and be the help mate you made me to be.     

Last day!

There's something going on around me, well, maybe I should say within my sphere of influence, that I'm really liking. I'm reading some blogs and these folks are starting to slow down too. Here's something that the great wisdom dude JD Walt wrote just today.


The closer the orbit the faster we must move. The faster we move the less we see. The less we see the more limited our perspective. The more limited our perspective the shallower our wisdom. The shallower our wisdom the more anemic our life.


He's talking about s-l-o-w-i-n-g. JD happens to be one of those people who does 984 things at once, lives on snickers bars and wonders why he can't loose weight. He has always had a way of making me think deeper than normal and it always sounds so simple coming from him.


Some of the slowing things I'm going to do this coming year are as follows. I'm going to spend an hour in contemplative prayer each day, I'm going to watch the sun rise and marvel that it does! I'm going to watch the squirrels in the backyard for their secret wisdom, which also means I will keep feeding them. I'm going to run a half marathon just to finish not to set some record and hopefully will be able to cheer others on. I also want to read more and I really like what JD said he was going to do...drive 5 miles an hour under the speed limit.


I looked up anaemic and this is what I found: Lacking power, vigor, vitality, or colorfulness. I want those things in my life! So I'm going to slow down, back up and do some pondering.


I don't know if this would be considered a New Year's resolution or not and in truth, I don't do them anymore cuz they never really happen. This is a choice, something I've been thinking about for a while and now seems as good a time to do it as any. It won't be easy, mainly cuz it goes against the American way, so to speak. But God is calling me to it and I'm going to obey. 


Is this something that knocks at your heart? Whatcha going to do about it?

Mary said what?

You know, sometimes I feel like I really get it! I'm on board, ready to do what is asked of me, go above and beyond, that extra mile thing. Then there are times like today when I feel like sticking my tongue out and going "Pbbbbbbt" all over everybody. So you have been warned!
Maybe it's just better if I do what Preacher man said I should do, "Go run the grump right out of yourself". I frustrated with my group, my Garmin, my blood work results, the season, my work, my lack of direction and being unfocused. I want to sit out in front of this house and throw rocks at people driving by speeding in a school zone. I want to shake people who don't get that the change has to come from within, not the government. 


When you boil everything down, it's all about relationships. Always has been, always will be. I just get tired of saying the same thing especially when no one is listening. Not that what I have to say is new and different, it's just now I think I know a little bit about how the prophets of old felt. No wonder Jonah ran away from what God asked him to do. He wanted those folks to get what they deserved, and I gotta say, "I'm with you Jonah!" Let then reap what they sow, see if I care. 


And then, the trinity got involved and sent Gabriel down to chat with Mary. And you know what happened? Mary said YES! She didn't sit down to figure out how she was going to explain all this to Joseph or her parents before she said YES, she just said, I am your hand maiden! Holy Moly!! Do we do that? Ever?


God is trying to communicate with us daily, but we are in too big of a hurry to hear, let alone say YES! I think of the times He's asked me to do somethings and I have said no, not right now, maybe later. I'm sick about it too, cuz what if I had said yes? This makes me not want to miss a second chance, that God might ask again. So I wait, during this season of advent, which is what we are called to do, wait and listen. Even when I would rather hang out with Jonah in the belly of a big fish! 


Come Lord, your servant is listening. 


Now I'm going to run the grump right out of myself! 
    

Wait!

I long for the day that we would own our own spot of dirt somewhere. It's hard to be a renter after you've owned a home and land, not impossible, but challenging to say the least. Preacher man and I a few sayings about living here, one of them goes like this..."I hate this house!" The owners have put some paint over things that should have been repaired and it really get's under Preacher man's skin, cuz he ain't put together that way. 


Yesterday was put lights on the outside of the house for the Christmas season. We bought these lights when we owned our home in Kentucky and they were beautiful! They don't do much for this house and they aren't all working. After a few hours, 12 fuses and a jar full of spare bulbs, they are hung, but not working. I suggested trashing them and just getting some more, and the response was, "Not while we're in this house!" We are done with this mole infested, too many dang trees in the yard, wall paper falling off the wall, dishwasher dying, drafty little piece of paradise. So we wait.


Waiting is hard and something we don't like to do with our fast food, pull up window mentality. We want it done now, and that's just not how things really work. We try to change this way God set up for things to function, but it doesn't last long, if it works at all. So, as hard as it is, I'm trying to embrace the waiting, and in doing that I'm starting to look and listen differently. 


When you wait in a waiting room at the doctors and if by the grace of all that is holy, you didn't bring your smart phone or your book, what do you do? I bet you people watch. We are having to do a "In Between" thing for my class. Sister Rachel has asked us to really see in some public place what absorbs/preoccupies me, others? AND to ponder what has been my love experience with God? My experience of self-sufficiency? Have you ever tried to ponder with a smart phone around? It just doesn't work people! I have been trying to do this and I am sadden by how hateful we are to each other even during this time of year! We don't have time, won't make time, yell at the car in front of us, don't wait for the elderly to get to the check out stand before us, open doors, smile or wish folks Merry Christmas, cuz we don't want to offended anyone so we say Happy Holiday's if we say anything at all.


WAIT!!!!!! Take a slow, deep breath, hold it for a second and slowly let it out, with all your pent upness! Do it 5 times! Now, listen... 


We all have to wait for different things and getting all up in the air doesn't make the time pass any faster. Try to learn the lesson of waiting with an expectant heart. Even if your not good at it to begin with, try it again and again. God will bless you, if you will but try and listen for His voice.            

Listen!

When was the last time you really listened to someone talk? What was that? What is listening? Does it depend on what I mean by listening? It's a skill that we take for granted, one that we can do while doing a few other mindless tasks huh? I was in a meeting the other day and I can honestly tell you that a few of the folks wanted to be heard more than they wanted to listen, and when your running a meeting like that, listening becomes very important.
How awesome would it be if we really listen to each other? Think of all the time we would save by not repeating things over and over. It takes intention and commitment. We need to slow down to expand our awareness of the possibilities of deep listening. How many of us, when we are going to speak for a group, take time to prepare for that encounter? How many of us prepare to listen? How would you go about preparing to listen anyway?
First off, I think we need to make the choice to listen. Have you ever found yourself in a conversation and all of a sudden you notice that you have no idea what the other person is saying? That is a choice not to listen. Listening is not a passive activity, it takes energy. Have you listen to someone before and found yourself physically wore out? It can be a work out!
Second off, listening is a gift. Think about the last time you felt heard. Someone took the time to slow themselves down and to give you time to talk. You felt understood, and relaxed I bet. Has someone ever told you "Thanks for listening?" Women do it more than men, I think because when a man listens to a woman, and then doesn't want to fix it, it's causing a connection! When preacher man just listens to me, a part of me heals because I feel understood. Sometimes I have to do this disclosure first: I need you to just listen to me, I don't need you to fix anything or tell me I'll get over it. Just listen!  Wow! Preacher man can be a good listener.      
So heres what I'm thinking. Today, look for opportunities to make the choice to listen to someone. Slow down enough to look them in the eye, open your posture to them (no crossed arms or tapping foot), and really hear what they are saying. Do not interrupt them, do not think of a response to what they are saying, just listen. I have found that when you start looking for these listening opportunities, people really start to talk to you, from their true selves.