Fearless?

So we start another week. Do we have to? Well, yes, we do, cuz I don't want to  stay around in last week, do you?

I want to say a few more words about fear. It really is an easy topic to talk about because so many of us are eat up with it. We like to think we aren't, we like to think we are brave and courageous. That we have No Fear, (wasn't that a logo a while back?) which would be the absence of fear.

Fearlessness in not the same as the absence of fear. When we are fearless, we are very much aware of the fear we face. I think about it this way. When we lived in Hawaii, I was afraid of two things. Getting burned alive by a volcano eruptions and the high dive at the pool. Now we lived on Oahu, and the active volcano was on the Big Island, but I was still had this fear. One year, we took a family trip to the Big Island and they have a chair called Pele's chair. (Pele is the goddess of the volcano.) You could sit in this chair and make a wish. My sister did just that and wished the volcano would erupt, because it had been thinking about it for years, but hadn't busted through the surface. So what do you think happened? Yes, my fear had come to life, we were going to die from this eruption and it was going to hurt really bad!

So what does my family do? You would think we would get on the first plane out of there and head to Alaska! BUT NO!!! We pack up and drive right down where the hot action is so the kids could see this once in a life time flowing of melted earth! You know what happened when we got there? It was hot, hotter than anything I had ever experienced, but it was also beautiful. In fact it took my breath away at life in the making.

Now the high dive, it was a horse of a different color. It couldn't come after me, I had to go to it. I had to look at this long and hard. I did, one day, climb those bazillion steps up to the top and I jumped off without killing myself. I became aware of my fear and saw it as a compass more than a barrier. (I did not know all this wisdom at the time, I was in the 3rd grade)

Fear can become a way to know what to do next, not an evil demon to be extinguished!  

When we deny our fear, we make it stronger.

When we reassure the voice in our head, that everything is going to be ok, we actually reinforce it.

Pushing back on fear doesn't make us brave and it doesn't make us fearless. Acknowledging fear and moving on is a very different approach, one that allows it to exist without strengthening it.

Life without fear doesn't last very long, you'll be run over by a bus (or someone one in the church) before you know it. The fearless person, on the other hand, sees the world as it is (fear included) and then makes smart (and brave) decisions.

Emptiness!

I've been somewhat sick for about a week. It's hard for me to be sick, I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about, so let me explain! I have stuff to do... important stuff to do! I get paid for a few of these things that I do, but mainly it's just stuff, my stuff. Working out is a good example of some of my stuff, blogging is another. Anyway, all I've been able to do for a week is sit around and try to breath! OK, your right, I did work the Arkansas Flower and Garden show last week, went to dinner with my parents for my birthday, rang handbells in church, got my hair done, had spiritual direction, went to vision cafe, centering prayer and got finger printed for concealed hand gun license. Maybe if I had sat around and tried to breath I would have gotten well sooner, you think?

We are afraid of emptiness. Flat out scared to have space in our lives! This, that I just shared with you, is a perfect example of how fearful we are of empty space! We like to occupy-fill up-every empty time and space that we might have in our life. Look at your calendar if you think I'm making this up! We have filled our empty spaces before we even get to them!  

I'm going on a silent directed retreat this weekend at the beloved St. Scholastica, where I will try to allow emptiness to exist in my life. Emptiness requires a willingness not to be in control, a willingness to let something new and unexpected happen. It requires trust, surrender, and openness to guidance.

God wants to dwell in our emptiness. But as long as we are afraid of God and God's actions in our lives, it's unlikely that we will offer our emptiness to God. 

Come Lord Jesus, and fill our emptiness with you.

Try Hard

Do you find that you try too hard sometimes? Or are you one that finds you don't try enough, or anymore. I have to admit, after trying again and again with success down around my ankles, sometimes I find it easier to not try anymore. It get's hard coming up against walls again and again. 

Those are times when we are called to just Be for awhile. To stop and check out what's going on around us. To be present. 

Do you find that you are centered in the past or the future? I was thinking about it just this morning. I go to my past, it's what made me who I am. It's where lessons were learned or continue to be learned. I go to my future to plan and to have hope in. 

To be present, that's where I fall short. I think it's because it requires effort, and sometimes it requires a lot of it. That aside, to be present, we have to be attentive to the life we have right now, and to experience the scared and the wonder within this present moment.

I want to do less and live more. I want to look into the eye's of others and remember the color. I want to know what's important to the birds that come to my feeders, and to show people that they really can be heard.

What is sacred is what is worthy of our reverence, what evokes awe and wonder in the human heart, and what, when contemplated, transforms us utterly. -Phil Cousineau