If - Then

Do you ever get to spots in your life where you think our doing ok: involved in church, hobby's, going to sunday school, small group here and there. No major fights happening on the home front. You know, feeling pretty good about things and the direction they are moving. Content. Or is it complacent?

That's when you get it, right in the kisser. Comes out of thin air, I swear! Then you spend the next few hours trying to figure out what just happened. Replaying things in your head, going over the What If's, finding a sounding board that can handle what your fixing to lay out there. As I write these words, I'm still shaking my head.

But here's the deal: If we will forgo the desire to lash out in our own defense; If we just take it, like Christ took it, we become vulnerable. Then God has an opening to show up and do what God does.

This is part of what I learned from my time in the vulnerable circle.

1. I can only change myself! 

2. It is my choice to put on Christ or not.

3. God see's me.

I chose to put on Christ yesterday. It was hard to keep my mouth shut when false accusations were flying all around me. I took it. I came home crushed and unable to figure out what to do with all that stuff.

Then this morning, God showed me. I obeyed and He gave me grace by the bucket loads. Every scripture I read this morning was straight from God's heart  to mine! 

If we obey, He is faithful.  

Dallas Grass

We've had over 2 inches of rain since Monday afternoon. Most of it came on Monday, but we have had showers on and off since then. It's dropped the temp down some and has kept the sun from shining directly on us poor slobs. The humidity is 89% right now, but once the sun comes out from behind those clouds, I bet it jumps up to the 90+%.

I have a problem in the yard. It's called Dallas Grass. This is what Dallas grass looks like. The only thing I know that kills it is MSMA and they took it off the market last year. Another bright move by our EPA. Right up there with their ban on DDT, but that's another blog.
Wait, 2 other things I know of that will kill this stuff. Round-up, which leaves a dead spot the size of the clump you sprayed, and a shovel. Guess what I'm going to do since the ground is soft and I'm thinking the roots will be easily extracted? That's right it's Shovel Time!

You know, sin is like Dallas Grass. It's green like the surrounding grass, it is technically a grass. When you cut the grass, it get's cut with it, you know, it kind of hides in plane site. We talk about the Dallas Grass as if it's something we don't want in our yard, yet, we aren't doing what it takes to remove it. We live with it! It's unsightly, and yet, there it is in all it's glory.

When I remove these clumps of ugliness, there's no guarantee that it's going to stay gone. I may have to break out the Round-up and kill it with chemical! But I will fight it for as long as it's in my life!     

Present to the Presence

I talk a lot about living in the present. I got to thinking the other day, well, if your not living in the present, where are you living? My thinking on this, is either in the past or the future. One of which is gone and you can't do anything about it, and the other might never get here. It's living in grief and regret or the land of 'what if.'

Dr. Fred say's it this way: From the vantage point of Christian spiritual practice, being present is about being present in the moment to the presence of the triune God. In that way, and in that way alone, is the meaning of any moment made clear to us.

It's not just about paying attention to what's going on around you. It's not just about living in this moment, as opposed to any other moment. It's about THE presence of the triune God. Paying attention to what God is saying through the things that surround you. Living in this moment so you can see and hear what God has for you right now, cuz that's all you've really got anyway. No promises of tomorrow.

To me, it's about making time, not finding time, to spend in THE presence of God. Starting my day with Him, always re-calabrates me. In this way, any moment is made clear. 

Habit

Why is it that we fall out of habit's that are good for us faster and farther than habit's that are bad? Is it something just made into us? Do we yearn to be disobedient? Is it the rebel wanting to yell in us all?

Billy Idol, Rebel Yell!

I have a list as long as my arm to be done! Some of those things have to happen, some are need, and then there is the MY list that mostly are wants. In all honesty, I'm pretty tired of lists and letting them rule my life. I also know what happens without them, nothing!

We all go through times when we are more on the ball than others, and sadly we waste time beating ourselves up about it when we could just get back into the swing of things. 

I think, this is something I need to talk to my spiritual director about, that will help me get back on tract! However, with me and my director, I already know what he's going to say. Get back at it, now. 

So I listened to what he would say, if I were to ask, and this is what I got this morning:

The world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles, 

no matter how long,

but only by a spiritual journey,

a journey of one inch, very arduous and humbling

and JOYFUL, by which we arrive at the ground

at out own feet and learn

to be at home. 

~ Wendell Berry

So today, I encourage you to get back at your spiritual journey. To do your inch today and let God take care of the miles!

Feeding Time!

We started our Advent Bible Study last night, and if my counting is correct, there were 19 of us there. I was happy to see more than 12, but with a Sunday attendance number of 140, you would think a few more would have showed up.  The real bummer is this is Advent! Let's look forward to the coming of the King together!!

This got me to thinking about the purse party I had on Monday. I know it sounds strange, but stick with me and see where I'm going before you call me crazy and click onto something else. I sent out an email to 30 people, had the event posted on Facebook, made phone calls, and sent out 25 postcard reminders. Had about 35 people coming until the day of the party got here. Slowly, through out the day, the calls started coming in. I ended up with 7 people that night. We had a nice time and I was tickled that they showed up, but my point goes a little deeper than that.

As a church, we expect the Pastor to feed us. This is Biblical (John 21) and it's their job. It's also their job to make disciples of Jesus Christ! Tell me how that can be done if you are showing up once a week and expecting your tank to get filled, and last you for the week, on I might add, a 15 minute feeding? We are setting ourselves up to die from malnutrition!

The problem is not what we are getting fed on Sunday, it's what we are feeding ourselves Monday through Saturday! The sheep have their job to do too you know! It's our responsibility to eat! Anyone who lives on milk, still being an infant, is not acquainted with the teachings about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish between good and evil. Heb. 5:13-14

Here's the deal: It's the Pastor's job to serve up Word, hot and fresh every Sunday! It's also their job to ensure that there are other feedings going on during the week to feed us hungry sheep!

Sheep of the church, it's our job, right, and responsibility to eat. If we refuse to study, apply it, pray some during the week, join a small group and dig deeper with others, theres not much the Pastor can do for us!

So when we talk to your fellow sheep, and hear things like I'm not getting fed, and we know there are feedings going on during the week, cuz we're at them, and don't see them. We might want to remind them that drinking milk is fine while your an infant, but if you want to mature in your faith, you have to train yourself and start eating the meat that's being offered.

Just my thoughts from this side of the street!

Silence?

Why do we find it so hard to be in silence? I think we just might be afraid of it. Have you ever been around someone in the hospital and tried not to talk so much? Or had a friend that was going through a really hard time and been able to just sit with them in silence. Sometimes nothing is the very best thing you can say, as opposed to It's going to be ok. or God is teaching you a lesson. While these thing maybe true, I don't think they need to be said or heard for that matter.


I can't tell you how many people think I'm plumb crazy to spend an hour in pray. I've heard everything from I talk to God for 10 minutes than I'm done. to I fall asleep after 3 minutes. Now let me just state, an hour is something you need to work up to. Try starting with 15 minutes! Try starting for that matter. 


I think that words that don't come from silence are probably not worth saying. They are more like words that need to be unloaded than they are communication. I can talk about this cuz I used to be the champ at this, and sometimes...I still am.


Take a Psalm, any one of them, and read it out loud, then just sit with it. Don't start talking to God, just sit there and reread it slowly. Ask God what he has to say to you, then just sit there and keep your corn-hole shut! After 15 minutes, get up and go on with your day. The next day do the same thing. See if you don't start hearing that still small voice inside of you.


Blaise Pascal said all human evil comes into the world because people can't sit still in a chair for thirty minutes! I don't know if that's true, but it could be. Maybe what he's saying is when we run from silence we run from our souls, ourselves, and therefore, from God. Richard Rohr says if he was to advise one thing for spiritual growth, it would be silence. I agree with that more now than I ever have before. 


Maybe that's why as we get older, we listen more and speak less. It's not that we have less to say, in fact, I would bet we have more to say. It's that the others need to unload their words on us. I'd like to think that as you unload your words, you would be making space to receive in silence. If we don't take time to be in silence, how do we ever expect to receive?     

Calling the Shots!

Graduated from The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius last night in Fort Smith. For some reason, that doesn't even sound right, mainly cuz I don't know if it's possible. A better way to say it is the formal class is now over. It's one of those times when your happy and sad all at the same time. I now have to be responsible for myself! Oh bother!


I have to say I am changed! I believe Peg and Marilyn would call it, living into my authentic self! It's a different place than any I have been through yet and I gotta tell ya, I like it! 


We were asked last night, what was the one gift we received from our 4th week, which was the end of our time. For me, it was a combination of gift's rolled into a big one. If I had to break it down, I'd say that the love I now know is so much bigger and freer! One gal said it was now in color, I like that! I want to live into this bigness and this freedom, and see what God has in mind.


I also think I'm getting that it's so much more than Jesus loves you, and God is love! I mean, they are great places to start and if that's where you are, awesome! But if your still there in a month or two, your plan might have gone off it's tracks and you might be listening to too much "all you need is love"! 


What it is about is God, not you! Dr. Fred had a great way of putting it today in his blog... 


It's about God—about God's claim to be God, about the challenge that our lives pose to God's claim to be God, and about how God ends up vindicating God's claim in the resurrection. We get to go along for the ride, but it isn't all about us. And because it isn't all about us we can't opt out or work on our own best guess about what we need. God is calling the shots.


God really is calling the shots! Our role is to be more Christ-like in our daily doings, so that we might start to see the shots that God is calling. We can run off and pout and do our own thing, shaking our fist up at God and saying, Oh and by the way, I'm not going to play anymore! But, do you really think that's going to stop God? He will still come after you and as I love to say now a day's... He will Woo you to Him! Don't get me wrong, God is love, but He's also Holy and Truth! His love is going to take you as you are, but He's not going to leave you like He found you! Have you lost your mind? Well, maybe you have! Let me be the first to let you in on this secrete plan of His, He wants to change you and grow you!


We would love to be able to say and really believe that our religious practices are private and up to us, that they have nothing to do with you and if it feels good to me, I'm going to do it. I'm here to tell you that's not how it works! It takes a community! Wort's and all, to grow us into who God wants us to be. It's messy and painful sometimes, but when we do it together, we really do see that it's so much more than Jesus loves you!

Long Lent!

I was looking at my calendar today and it looks like I'm busy, than openish, than the doors get blown off in June. However, I seem to be walking into this time with a little more gentleness than normal and while it's new, I like it!


I had a day of striking yesterday on the packing front! I just spent time in the back yard with Sam and did some reading. I told Preacher man I was resting and he asked, From what!? SO I'm thinking in order to keep up with my 2-3 boxes per day quota, I need to do between 10 and 15 today. Dang, how does this happen?


I wanted to share an insight I had this morning, cuz maybe it will hit you in just the right spot too. 


I am so grateful that Lent is over! I have no idea if that's the right thing to say but, Hallelujah! Amen! For me, it was one long Lent, one long walk with Jesus to the cross, and one deep place that I'm truly glad I went to. A friend on the east coast told me, One long Lent = more space and time for the desert to bloom! It's true and I love it! I believe that I did what Jesus was calling me to do this Lent. (and Sister Rachel, who got orders from St. Ignatius) It was hard at times, but being on this side of it, makes it look easier than it was.


I walking a little softer now, breathing a little deeper, and I pray, ready for the next few month. I could very easily change into my custom that you see at the top of this page, but I'm just not feeling it, so I'm not going to go there. If I pack it up today I won't be able to put it one until we get to Sherwood!


The cool thing is I feel like I'm right where I'm suppose to be, doing what I should be doing and I'm not freaking out about not having a job, or all that stuff that goes with it. 


Oh, I found this button in a drawer! It made me laugh!

Discipline?

2011 Spring shower!

I sat up till close to midnight preparing for the storm. I had to because I have two very large dogs who freak out when it storms, the cat... not so much. 5 - 12 inches of rain they said. 1.3 is what my little rain gauge said this morning. I brought my house plants in that I had placed out on the porch cuz I was afraid they would drown. I might put them back out there later today if it warms up some.


Yesterday I got 2 boxes of books loaded. Not sealed up cuz I can't find the right sized books to finish up the boxes! This is yet another reason why I shouldn't be allowed to pack books. By the way, I started reading 3 more! 


I have to pick a movie and write a 2 page paper on it's spiritual significance for Spiritual Direction class. You might think that's a pretty tuff thing to do, but unbeknownst to the movie industry (I'm sure) most movies have them. We watched Grand Tarino (sp) during our class and it's a pretty spiritual movie! Even with Clint Eastwood staring in it! Anne is going to come over sometime this week and we are going to watch "The secret life of Bees" and "Over the Hedge". I've already watch "9" and have notes but I want to have a few choices. After I watch them I should be able to pack them?


One of the books I found yesterday was a small book called "Discipline & Discovery" by Albert Edward Day. I'm thinking it might be something I don't pack, but just keep out and read a little everyday. The very first line in this book is: As Christians, we are an undisciplined people. I tend to have to agree with this statement. We, Christians, have forgotten the faithful practices that gave us our saints of old. I hardly think that people like Francis of Assisi, Teresa of Avila or Evelyn Underhill got to be who they were without discipline, do you? (If you don't know of these folks, you really should google them!) But as a church and also sadly as a country, we are undisciplined. We don't understand why we lack spiritual insight and power. 


You might not even know that there are scriptural disciplines. If you don't, I will list them. They are: obedience, simplicity, humility, frugality, generosity, truthfulness, purity and charity. I think this might be part of the reason we don't have discipline huh? These go against everything our culture stands for. They are considered "weaknesses" in our day and age. Yet, as Christians, these are things that we should be learning. These are the things that make up small groups, grow people together as they struggle with the how's, and give us spiritual insights and power! 


That's all I have to say about that today, I need to get into the shower and get to class!