I've been blown away by the effect Easter has had on me. As a PW (Preacher's Wife) more things get on me than your normal non-PW, you know...the wife's out there. We have to be that support that comes from a deep place so that the Preacher Man can wear clean underwear, eat enough protein to keep up that smile, and brush the demon's off his back when he comes home for breaks. It really is a never ending cycle of strange demands that was not taught in seminary!
For some strange reason, I thought Christmas was going to be the big demanding Holy holiday that would pull me to the edge of the cliff and call me to jump in order to save myself. I was wrong. It was Easter.
I think it has to do with the preparation during Lent. No, that can't be it, we had Advent before Christmas. Maybe it was the lack of the church knowing how to prepare that wore me out. I found myself saying, a lot to other's, Spend time with Jesus, just be with him on his way to the cross. I believe in the mist of this time, I did spend that time just being with Jesus.
I feel like that was what he craved, and no one would really do it. He asked them to stay awake while he prayed, sleep over came them. He was denied by Peter, left alone in chains, beat to the point of death, and the one person who did struggle to get to him, wasn't allowed to comfort her child.
So I spent time just being with Jesus and it was hard. It pulled my life right to the surface of my being and it hung there, raw and open. It literally wore me out, physically, emotionally and mentally. So I'm done, stick a fork in me kinda done! Lay on the floor and not shower for a few days kinda done!
Preacher man, being a man of secret smartness, that remains hidden from me, even after 20 years, has planned this vacation to commence after church this Sunday and last for ruffly two weeks. So now, preparing for said vacation is wearing me out... More to come....
Epiphany Sunday! The end of the 12 day's of Christmas, as today is day 13 and the day the Gentiles got it! I like to think of it like the day a big light came on! It is also the day that we celebrate the Three Wise Men showing up at Jesus' place and bringing him gifts. The period from January 7 to Ash Wednesday has no central theme and is one of two seasons of Ordinary Time. I mean, we have the Baptism of the Lord on the 13th and Transfiguration Sunday is February 10th, but Preacher man is starting a series on prayer so we won't be "celebrating" those Sunday's, so to speak.
This week we also start our new Bible study on prayer and I'm pretty excited about that. We will have 2 meeting times on Tuesday's so we can hopefully give everyone the opportunity to come. It's just a thrilling time for me right now, because it's time to get down to business. The church is starting to trust us, the prayer team is growing and is understanding how important prayer is, new people are on committees and it's just a new year with new things in store.
I'm also at the half way spot for my Practicum I class, which is good and strange all at the same time. I'm working on my strengths and limitations as a director, which has been an enlightening experience, to say the least. It's been good to gain self knowledge and to be ok with how God has put me together. There always needs to be growth, as I'm fond of saying, God takes us as we are, but He doesn't leave us that way!
I hope to start walking tomorrow and to do some Sherd, we'll see. One of the crazy women in the church, that's a retired nurse, came in today and gave Preacher man and I a flu shot. We have been baulking the whole flu shot thing for years! Two things she said changed our minds this year: Flu shots are like seat belts, they're there, but you don't have to use them, and The church is one of the best places to spread germs, you know, we love on each other and stuff. Fine Audrey! I took your dang flu shot! Dang nurses anyway!
I was looking at my calendar today and it looks like I'm busy, than openish, than the doors get blown off in June. However, I seem to be walking into this time with a little more gentleness than normal and while it's new, I like it!
I had a day of striking yesterday on the packing front! I just spent time in the back yard with Sam and did some reading. I told Preacher man I was resting and he asked, From what!? SO I'm thinking in order to keep up with my 2-3 boxes per day quota, I need to do between 10 and 15 today. Dang, how does this happen?
I wanted to share an insight I had this morning, cuz maybe it will hit you in just the right spot too.
I am so grateful that Lent is over! I have no idea if that's the right thing to say but, Hallelujah! Amen! For me, it was one long Lent, one long walk with Jesus to the cross, and one deep place that I'm truly glad I went to. A friend on the east coast told me, One long Lent = more space and time for the desert to bloom! It's true and I love it! I believe that I did what Jesus was calling me to do this Lent. (and Sister Rachel, who got orders from St. Ignatius) It was hard at times, but being on this side of it, makes it look easier than it was.
I walking a little softer now, breathing a little deeper, and I pray, ready for the next few month. I could very easily change into my custom that you see at the top of this page, but I'm just not feeling it, so I'm not going to go there. If I pack it up today I won't be able to put it one until we get to Sherwood!
The cool thing is I feel like I'm right where I'm suppose to be, doing what I should be doing and I'm not freaking out about not having a job, or all that stuff that goes with it.
Oh, I found this button in a drawer! It made me laugh!
EPIPHANY!! It's here, today! This is the day that we celebrate when the Magi found Jesus! Also seen as the day of Jesus' physical manifestation to the Gentiles. Yeah!!!! To me, this should be a bigger day than it is. I mean it's a big deal that Jesus didn't just comes for the Jewish nation, he also came for us Gentiles! OK, so I guess I will practice it in my own way since I don't think I can talk the federal government into shutting down schools, banks and mail delivery. So to you I say "Happy Epiphany!!"
I think it has to do with the preparation during Lent. No, that can't be it, we had Advent before Christmas. Maybe it was the lack of the church knowing how to prepare that wore me out. I found myself saying, a lot to other's, Spend time with Jesus, just be with him on his way to the cross. I believe in the mist of this time, I did spend that time just being with Jesus.
