Monday, September 17, 2012


I sit here and look at the two books and one article that I should be writing a paper on and I want to scream!  Compare what you find in the 3 sources! They are all three about the Spiritual Exercises only they are a little different because they were written by 3 different people. Only problem, that sentence doesn't make a paper. 

I also need to be re-reading my journal notes from last years exercise and I can't find one of the journals. How is that even possible? It's the red one with my name written across it in two different directions. The only reason I remember that is because I was staring off into some of my pictures today and I say it in a picture. Great! But what did I do with it after the picture was taken?

Preacher man is at a meeting and I just can't bring myself to write a paper that would make much sense right now. 

I leave Friday afternoon to travel to Fort Smith, to stay at St. Scholastica, which almost feels like a home away from home. Funny thing is, it only feels that way when I start to leave. It's not that I want to be a Nun, even though I've told Preacher man if anything happens to him, I'm gone. It also isn't because the food is awesome, even though I have a new love for soft boiled eggs. It's because when I'm in the monastery, I feel The Presence like a thick blanket of fog that you can't run through, you can only walk slowly into it! 

It's not that The Presence is only at the monastery, it's just easier to pick up on there. You are forced to slow down, invited to walk the labyrinth, the gardens, check out the small book store, sit in swings or just stay in your room, which by the way has no TV. As you go through the grounds you continually ask yourself if you could live there, like they do, in a community. I feel like that would be the easy part for me, what would be hard would be the solitude. 

Come to think of it, solitude is becoming something I rather enjoy as of late. Strange, this extrovert of all extroverts likes to be alone sometimes. I'm not very good at it yet, but feel I'll keep at it to see where it goes. It's just easier to be around people and to get energy from them so that I can do whatever it is I need to do. I like to blame being alone on why I can't get anything done around the house, I'm tired of doing it alone. 

Yet, in the quiet of being alone, there is a certain stillness that grabs my attention and calls to me. It could be the deep calling to deep. I don't want to miss God's presence, and if I don't take time to be in solitude, I just might miss it. 

I have been away for far too long. It will be good to be back among the Sisters and The Presence.       

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Kimberly,
Very true about monasteries. I have been to The Holy Spirit Monastery in Conyers, Ga. There God's spirit bathes you with so much love and healing that you seek solitude to experience it more.
One monk there described monasteries as " The spiritual lungs of the church." I feel that is very true.
Have a healing retreat. I need to do the same soon.
God Bless You