Wednesday, January 18, 2012


Been doing some thinking about my journey and why I keep coming back to the same issues. It's like, Haven't I spent enough time and energy on that topic God? Waiting, listening....
What do you think?
OK then, let's keep at it shall we?

I think sometimes there in lies the problem, we think because we have prayed about it and spent sometime thinking about it, that it's a done deal. We put in the allotted time and now it's time to move on. 

Have you ever needed to forgive someone? So how long have you needed to forgive them? How much time have you spent on your knees asking God to give you the grace to choose to forgive? I'm guessing, if your anything like me, 5 to 10 minutes. God didn't give me the grace to choose to forgive, so I don't think He wants me to forgive! How's that working for you so far?

We all are broken, messed up human's and God knows all about it. He was there when the breaking happened and he's the one that made you human in the first place. He knew we couldn't fix any of this on our own, so hence, the reason Jesus died for each of us, yes, even those people you don't want to forgive. 

But our whole life boils down to the choices we make doesn't it? The choices I made while growing into this person I am now, made me who I am right now. Good or bad, loud or whatever the opposite is, opened or closed. My problem is I feel like if I let go and forgive, who will get back at them? Who will make them pay for what they've done? How will anyone know how awful they are? We call this hold a grudge. 

Read a story the other day about a woman with a grudge. Her name was Herodias, she was married to Herod and from what I can see, also his brother Phillip. John the Baptist told Herod, It is not lawful for you to have your brother's wife. And Herodias had a grudge against him, and wanted to kill him. This grudge was the end of John the Baptist. We never hear what happened to the grudge holder after that, but I bet it wasn't a live happily ever after kind of ending.

Here's something to think about: Herodias knew she was wrong. You know holding onto unforgiveness is wrong. Jesus tells us to forgive as we have been forgiven. He never said, Think about it and if you feel like it's something you should do... My problem is I don't think it's happened yet. That's when it hit me, to keep praying for the grace to choose to forgive. It's a choice, everyday, to forgive or to dig it all back up and hold onto that grudge. 

I pray for the grace to choose what brings me closer to God, gives God the glory and is salvation for my soul...everyday!   


Robin said...

Enjoyed reading your blog! I too have had to roll up my big girl sleeves and tackle this elephant in the room called 'Forgiveness'
Took me a bit to figure out I wouldn't necessarily forget.
Blessings to you in your journey =)

Anonymous said...

Hi Kimberly,
Thank you for your insightful and straightfoward blog. I am just starting to let go of a life long grudge against my parents. Your voice is another hand helping me to overcome my lack of responsibility for my behavior and the accompanying anger.
I appreciate you being my friend and fellow pilgram on this spiritual journey.
God Bless You

Anonymous said...

Hi Kimberly,
What prayers would you suggest to daily ask for the grace of forgiveness to stop holding a grudge?
God Bless You,

Kimer said...

Hi Geoff,
I posted a blog today that might help with the questions your having. Let me know if you need more info, I'd be happy to help!