Present

So, I thought I was dying early Saturday morning. I had gone to bed with chest pain that radiated down my right arm. It hurt to swallow, but it wasn't indigestion. I had eaten catfish for dinner, but didn't think it was any of that. So at 3 AM, I'm awake, worrying about having this heart attach that seems to be lasting for way too long!

After racking my brain trying to figure out what I had done, what Preacher man said to me earlier came back to me: Maybe you pulled something!

That's when the light came on and I remembered hauling around a 12 foot ladder at work! I had pulled some of my chest muscle, on the right side! One of the first things my sister says to me is You know, your not 21 anymore! To be totally honest, she was more right than I wanted her to be. 

Yes, I do think I can do the same physical stuff that I've always been able to do. I mean think about it, if I stop moving 12 foot ladders around, #1 who's going to do it? #2 look at what I miss out on!

That brought to mind, living in the now, the presence. God wants us living in the right now, so that we can see His blessings and lessons and jobs. Yes, He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, but all WE have is right now. So I encourage you to live today to the fullest.

My heart aches over the death of Ed Greenwood. Art teacher, dad, friend, cut up. It causes me to want to live more in the present.

My sister and brother-in-law were in town for the weekend. It was great to able to spend time with them and my folks. I'm sun burnt, my right wing is not at 100% but I'm just grateful right now. It's hard to explain when you live in this gap. This place that is no longer and not yet. But here we will be until God says so. 

Remember, today is all you really have!
       

Chicken Spagetti!

How do I go about telling the story of chicken spaghetti? I'll start with my Grandmother. 

Let me just say right off the top, my Grandparents; Katie and J.O. (aka Shorty) were involved with more crap as older retired people, than I have ever seen in all my life!!! Please do not even kid yourself thinking you know any other 2 people that were this involved! Good Grief! They belonged to everything! My poor mom was drug around as a young girl to nightly, weekly, monthly, and supreme special 5th day of something meetings. OK, let me get back on track. Meetings.

Meetings, I believe are just excuses for people to get together and eat. It's great fun, most of the time. You ask me how I know… Yes, They got a hold of me and I too have been a Worthy Grand Matron. I regress. Food.

Food has always been important to meals don't you think? We all seem to love to eat. We're obsessed with either buying cookbooks, making cookbooks, or watching people cook. Well, it was the same back in 1973. And on top of that, Grannie was a Home Ec teacher, so the woman could flat out cook and owned ever type of cookbook there was. 

I am not sure if all cooks do this, or if it's women, or if it's just the women in my family, but we collect recipes. All kinds of recipes! My family stores them inside of other cookbooks. They're stained from being too close to the action and are written on things from evening programs, to the inside cover of another cookbook, to slips of paper folded over in half.

When my Grannie passed, I got the cookbooks. 

Let me tell you how much fun my momma and I had sitting down and just going over those cookbook. Let me read what I have in front of me right now: 

• It's 2 pieces of paper, folded in half, not badly stained, with the recipes for Chicken Salad, Tuna Salad, Chicken Spaghetti, and something with salmon, gelatin and an aluminum mold. 
• Here's a list of things she picked up at the store; buttermilk, dark brown sugar, heavy cream and bourbon. 
• Here's one for stuffed cherry tomatoes, chicken spaghetti and a cheeses ball. Wait, here's another chicken spaghetti… 

Come find out, Grannie had a lot of chicken spaghetti recipes spread throughout cookbook kingdom. They varied by how many people it fed. She had to be prepared for all these meetings that were all about eating. 

Through this, I saw a few things about my Grannie that I hadn't paid much attention to when I was younger. Beside the fact that she liked chicken spaghetti, she was all about hospitality! These cookbook are full of party how-tos and they are more than directions, they were stretching the dollar as far as possible.

Every Christmas, Grannie would make an Italian Creamcake. I believe it is my most favorite cake, ever. I use to think it was German Chocolate, then Red Velvet, but now I gonna go with this Italian Creamcake. Anyway, after Grannie was gone, nobody made Italian Creamcake anymore. Come find out, it was cuz nobody had the recipe! So I slowly started going through some of the cookbooks that I've unpack. I picked up:

 Smart Ways to Cook & Entertain 

Our Favorite Recipes 

Sponsoned by: Desha Court No. 2 

Order of the Amaranth

1973 

I looked under the desserts, and was blown away when I found Italian Creamcake by Katie Marie Clark. Called Preacher man from the other room to tell him what I found, called momma to tell her I found it and was going to make it! I made my list, got everything together, and made that cake! Man that was a good cake!! Grannie would be proud! 

As I was closing the cookbook, I reached for something to mark that page and placed it in the book. It was another recipe for chicken spaghetti.

I smile, thinking about my Grannie. I don't guess you can ever have enough recipes for chicken spaghetti. 

Miss you Grannie!

Forgiveness!

Aren't Smartphones the best? OK, they aren't better than Jesus, but you can bet they are a lot easier to carry around than your computer! 

I have been thinking about getting a Kindle, so I can read whatever I want, whenever I want. I got the Kindle app on my phone and I downloaded cool stuff like Whinny the Pooh and I found this free book called "Why we eat our own". It's by a pastor in Colorado named Michael Cheshire. He and a group of friends stated The Journey Church in Conifer CO. Anyway, this book has started to change my life, and I gotta tell ya, I needed it.

Preacher man and I are leaving the Methodist Church. Surprise! In hind sight, everything we have ever done has lead us to leave and jump out there for Jesus in a totally new and different way. Things like starting our own business, running a soup kitchen, running boards, cleaning churches, leaving all that you know to go to seminary, healing and wholeness, prayer, and flat out having to love Jesus and each other into every moment.

For the past three weeks, we have hurt, but we have also healed. I have wanted to reach out and smack a whole lot of folks, but Jesus had something else in mind. 

Forgiveness. It's really an easy concept when you ask others to forgive you. It is something totally different when you have to do it yourself and forgive the people you would rather run over with a lawn mower!

Here's the deal: All I have to do is allow Jesus access to my heart and he will work the forgiveness stuff out.

So the grains of sand in my hourglass are still running, and I don't want to waste anymore time with unforgiveness, self righteousness or justification! So I forgive you Sylvan Hills UMC and all the people that make you what you are as a church! 

In 4 days, we will be out of here and I want to thank the Jepko's, Smith's, Shadle's, Clarke's and Christina for being the heart of Christ to Alex and I. We could have done it without you, but I'm so glad we didn't have to. 

My heart breaks when I think about leaving my sweet, crazy neighbors! The meals, treats, talks over the fence, and just allowing me to be me has made our short stay here so much funner!

We came back to Arkansas to be closer to our folks. So that's where we are headed, Heber Springs. We are not leaving ministry, it will just look different from here on out. You can still contact us the way you always have. I'm signing out of blogging, until we get set up in the new digs. 

Peace out! Forgive!

and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. ~ Romans 5:5       

Grateful

I'm grateful for it all. I really am. As strange as it sounds and as strange as it feels, God is doing a work in me that I am in awe of and truly grateful for.

I can name names of who did this to us, but the people who need to know do. I could set out on a revenge campaign because it would be so nice to see their demise, and I could do it, but God has grown me bigger than hurting others.

Here's the deal: I don't have to blow someone's light out, in order to shine.

Has it been hard? Yes. Is it still hard? Your dang right it is! I say I would change it all if I could, but I wouldn't. 

God is growing me deeper. I said that this morning like it was a new idea, yet, when I look back, it has been my prayer all along.

I wanna be a tree that has roots deep enough to withstand the storms that seek to rip me from my grounding. I desire to shine with the love of Christ, who suffered for me, as if I was the only one. He would not have turned away from this trial I face. The people in the know didn't like Him either, so I'm in pretty good company.

Suffering is a wonderful fertilizer for the roots of character. The great objective of this life is character, for it is the only thing we can carry with us into eternity. And gaining as much of the highest character possible is the purpose of our trials. ~ Austin Phelps

I'm grateful for it all.

GRATEFUL

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