Free

I find myself at a loss today! Has that ever happened to you? It's not that I don't have anything to do, it's that I'm at a loss, in a funk, standing around scratching my head. Things are coming to an end...again. Seems like that's been a common theme ever since I got on the Jesus path, endings. Now, I'm a firm believer of, in every ending is a beginning waiting to happen, but ever so often I have to sit down and be sad about it.


I told that group of folks last Friday night, I did not want to love you! But I do! In that loving, there is a loosing when it's time to go. You would think a Navy Brat wouldn't have a hard time with good byes, I've been doing it all my life, but I get sat down with the sadness of it all sometimes.


It's like lost possibilities, something ended too soon, before it's time. Yet in God's timing, it's all good! So it's sad, yet sweet. OMG, I'm driving myself crazy with this melancholy stuff!


Here's the deal, I'm done with the first year of the spiritual directors' formation program through St Scholastica. All I really did was the spiritual exercise's which is the first year. After that, if you want to continue, you talk to Sister Rachel about it. The 2nd year is Intro to Spiritual Direction! Well, pooh! I'm just about done with my second year of Certification in Spiritual Direction through SMU, I don't want to have to re-start all this again, I'm about to graduate! So I called Sister Rachel.


She cut me free! She wants to supervise me as I get started, wants me to keep a spiritual director, but has set me free to do my thing. I'm at a loss with this. I have spent the last 12 years learning, studying, seeking and working on my stuff. It has been work! Now, it's time to get to work in a different way, as a spiritual director.


Preacher man has told me more than once, You can't just keep taking classes all the time. Your going to have to use this stuff someday! He has cut me free to, or maybe it's more like given me that umbrella to stand under. We now have a non-profit for me to do my spiritual direction through. Oasis Ministries. 


What the heck is going on here! When did all this happen? Where was I when this stuff was coming together and being formed and thought about? 
Really? Now your going to play dumb?
It's really true? I'm ready? Are you sure?
I am the Lord, I have called you in righteousness, I have taken you by the hand and kept you; I have given you as a covenant to the people, a light to the nation,
to open the eyes that are blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness. ~ Isaiah 42:6-7


So you see, I'm at a loss...