|Yazi being trained to use the fly swatter!|
I think there comes a time in all of our lives when we have to be opened to being trained by God. As much as I wish he would send that list down to me with it numbered by important things first, alas, that's not how we find God's training manual. The funny thing about all this is we can sit down at anytime and write up a list of things we need to be doing and working on without even asking God. We are so much harder on ourselves than God is. I am speaking about this because this is where I am right now. I have my list ready to go, which is well balanced with mind, body, soul and emotions all included. Its complex and long, it has huge results to be completed and really no certain timeline.
While I was with Sister Rachel, and just spending time on the grounds of St Scholastica, one thing and one thing only kept coming up. Be with me! Just be. When I look at my list, I am saddened to see that being it's on my list. Yet, if God were to send me a list, I bet that would be the only thing on it. So it causes me to think, why is this so hard? For me, it comes back to the fact that I don't want to be trained. It's not so much that I don't want it, cuz I'm trained in a rather large, varied, realm of things. But I always got the manual, and someone was always checking my progress and there were always the tests that proved I had been trained.
With God, not so much.
I got the Bible, I got Jesus, and Lord knows everyday is a test. But there's nothing to show anyone that proves I've been trained. I'm having this issue with being trained as a spiritual director. Here's what I'm finding, God provides through the people he sends my way. Preacher man tells me all the time, "Your so good at direction, you don't even know your doing it!" Well, I'm glad, cuz it keeps me humble and trainable.
I'm finding that when I have a humble spirit and an open heart, God trains me.
I really can hear him say "Sit! Stay! Be!"