It was shown to me this morning that I have not been forgotten. That is so how God works with me and I pray it's how he works with you too. I was talking with Pat yesterday and she but the words to where I am right now, in a pit. This morning, it feels more like a dungeon, but you know what I can do here? Ponder. Ponder lots of things. Sometimes I feel like I'm pondering so much that my head will blow off. I'm pondering faith versus reason. To the reasonable mind, Jesus is either who he says he is or a mad man! It really is that simple. The things that God asks us to do, do not make sense to the reasonable mind. Who in their right mind would want to start having kids in their life at this age? And not their own kids, but kids that have baggage? But that's faith in God and being a humble servant that can only boast in Christ! Bottom line is it doesn't really matter what I think I can do, God knows, and God will equip.
Then Watchman Nee writes The blessing He gives is intended to pave the way for greater blessing, never to become a barrier to it. Let us shake ourselves free from all trammels of the past and live in a state of constant expectancy. This is great encouragement for me as I shake myself of the old thoughts that always drag me down, of the old woman that tries to rise back up and take control of me.
Then Streams in the Desert touches yet another cord in my life. So do not worry or clench your teeth, simply waiting with stubborn determination for the suffering to pass. Instead, be determined to get everything you can from it, both for yourself and for the sake of those around you, according to the will of God. Stubborn determination? Clenched teeth? Well lookie here, who could that be?
So Pat, thanks for being my Jesus friend and reminding me that their is a plan, even if we don't know what it is. Janet, thanks for your timely comments that show you still know me. God will lead if we will but follow. That means to be behind and wait when he says to, not to run ahead and say "Don't this look this the way to go?" How many times do I have to relearn this?