Monday, August 30, 2010


How nice it was to go for my run, and then on a walk with Alex, without having to jump in the shower and get ready to drive to Fayetteville to deal with the lovelies at the bookstore. I had a good time, and I'm glad I got the opportunity to do it. When I die, I'll probably hold the record for most diverse jobs ever worked in a lifetime.
I'm joining a new Bunko group, and we meet Friday to talk about times and dates and to get to know each other. One of the questions that I'm starting to hear is, "So, Kimberly, what do you do?" I really want to answer, "Whatever I want to," but don't think they would understand what I'm talking about. Alex and I talked about it this morning, and it's just frustrating to know my call and not know how to go about doing something about it. I have had training, but is it enough? I'm going to get more training, but is it the right kind? I thought getting certified in spiritual formation through the UM church would be the way to go, but in all honesty, they really don't have a clue what to tell me to do. Since I'm not really wanting to do the deacon track, I feel like they aren't taking me seriously. Is that going to stop me? No! I just get frustrated when I can't plan it out and move toward checking things off my list.
It's like starting this Bible study on prayer. I think one person has signed up to take it, and I just can't see doing it with fewer than six. I know God is calling me to prayer and to help others learn to pray, and you can lead that horse, but that don't mean he'll drink. So here I sit with hopes and dreams for God's church, and nobody is going to pick me for their team. The crazy thing about that is, I don't need no stinkin’ team to do what God calls me to do. Never have. He called me into that crazy job at the soup kitchen, and it was me and Jesus. When He was ready, He brought the right people to me, and we had us a rockin’ team. I have to remember that I didn't start off as the best nonprofit. It came with hard work and a whole lot of depending on Jesus to show up and provide. All I had to do was show up and step out there. I had to be available, and that, friends, is one of the hardest things for us to do. We stay so busy that we can't hear God calling us into something.
So while I'm glad I got to experience the whole bookstore thing at the University of Arkansas, I'm sure working as an usher for the home games will also result in a ton of stories. What I really want is to do what God is calling me into, so God—I'm knocking.

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