My mood seems to be following the weather—overcast and cold with a chance of never getting better. My heart was broken this morning as Alex told me that the so-called health reform bill passed. I cannot believe that the government will be funding abortion. I am shocked that the states will now have to take care of Medicare and Medicaid before it puts the federal government even more in the hole. I think about the men and women who are serving our country in Iraq and Afghanistan and about the health issues that they will be facing when and if they come home, and it blows my mind. We think the PTSDs (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) from Vietnam were bad; they were just the beginning! And we are fooling ourselves if we think we can handle it. It's not that I have the answers; it's just that I'm tired of the questions being ignored and everybody wanting the government to take care of it. I used to believe in the government—really, I did. It's how I was raised. But this is not the government I was raised to believe in. It is the one that I fear.
Alex and I have been packing up books in preparation of his appointment into the Arkansas Conference, and I gotta tell you, it is scaring me more and more every day to be doing this—acting in faith. Sometimes it's just hard to believe in the good of anything after we see what the "Government for the People, by the People" has just done in ignoring what more than 60 percent of the people want. But I guess that is because I put some of my faith in man and not all of my faith in God. I don't mean to be a downer. I'm just mad as hell, and I just don't get it—any of it!
As I write these words, I look over at a card that I have beside my computer that is titled "Praying God's Promises Together." It's Phillippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petitions, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Father God, we come to You in prayer regarding the things that concern our hearts. We offer our praise and gratitude to you, as well as our fears. Take these things from us and in return, may Your indescribable peace guard our hearts and minds. Come, Lord Jesus!