So, I thought I was dying early Saturday morning. I had gone to bed with chest pain that radiated down my right arm. It hurt to swallow, but it wasn't indigestion. I had eaten catfish for dinner, but didn't think it was any of that. So at 3 AM, I'm awake, worrying about having this heart attach that seems to be lasting for way too long!
After racking my brain trying to figure out what I had done, what Preacher man said to me earlier came back to me: Maybe you pulled something!
That's when the light came on and I remembered hauling around a 12 foot ladder at work! I had pulled some of my chest muscle, on the right side! One of the first things my sister says to me is You know, your not 21 anymore! To be totally honest, she was more right than I wanted her to be.
Yes, I do think I can do the same physical stuff that I've always been able to do. I mean think about it, if I stop moving 12 foot ladders around, #1 who's going to do it? #2 look at what I miss out on!
That brought to mind, living in the now, the presence. God wants us living in the right now, so that we can see His blessings and lessons and jobs. Yes, He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, but all WE have is right now. So I encourage you to live today to the fullest.
My heart aches over the death of Ed Greenwood. Art teacher, dad, friend, cut up. It causes me to want to live more in the present.
My sister and brother-in-law were in town for the weekend. It was great to able to spend time with them and my folks. I'm sun burnt, my right wing is not at 100% but I'm just grateful right now. It's hard to explain when you live in this gap. This place that is no longer and not yet. But here we will be until God says so.
Remember, today is all you really have!
I seem to be hung up on a phase I read a few weeks ago in a book a friend is making me read. OK, she's not making me read it, like holding a gun to my head, but she's a friend from the group of friends that if they tell me to read a book, well, I read that book. The phase is Mind the Gap.
The author explains the gap in light of the London Underground. People will tell you to mind the gap that's the space between the edge of the landing platform and the car. You don't want to fall down in it!
Also, transitions are gaps.
They mark the gap between the no longer and the not yet. They are the space where we are neither in one place nor another... They mark the place where a certain order breaks down and chaos arises.
This is the gap that I find myself in. I've have said more than a few times, I'm over this and moving on, there's no stopping me now! I was in the gap for about 62 day's but I realized I was there and I jumped out of it. Yip! That's about right. I'm gapless.
And I see Jesus smile at me.
The thing about gaps, is also the thing about God, neither can be controlled, they have to be experienced. I can tell myself all day long that I'm in control of my life and that I'm on a new road, but unless I give up the control to God and let Him lead me through this gap area of gapness, I'm only fooling myself. One thing I'm learning is that the sooner you give up the control, the sooner God can do what needs to be done.
This is a strange time for me. Opportunity is knocking on a door that has been closed for a long time.
I'm still in the the gap between the no longer and the not yet.
