Saturday, September 6, 2014


It's been hard lately to be in the stillness, so I have opted to not seek the stillness.

This is always a bad idea. It's very idea comes straight from the the gates of hell. But we go there, I go there, and let me tell you I can justify being there too. 

Then something happens and it slaps you back into the real deal of obedience, of the age old question: Even if you never hear from Him again, will you still seek Him? My Spiritual Director put it like this: How would I respond if I never had another gift of consolation? 

You know, when Jesus left the Disciples, they went back to what they were doing before they met him. John 21 tells the story, and tucked in there is fishing. Peter says, I'm going fishing! He knew how to fish. He had been making a living fishing for his whole life before Jesus came along! So when you don't know how to go forward, you sometimes end up doing what you know how to do.

Jesus came to them again. To remind them they needed to feed His sheep!

So my Spiritual Director has me going back over the Principles and Foundation from Saint Ignatius. Today's reading was the last part, you know, the part that always get's ya'! 

I want and I choose what better leads to God's deepening life in me. 

I haven't posted, because I haven't had the words. It's been a quiet time, a lonely time. Sometimes just knowing that your not loosing your mind, that people have gone through "this" before and come out the other side better, is enough to hold on to.

We can not ignore the call.  

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