You know when I started on this journey of spiritual growth some 13 years ago, I really thought I'd get to a point where I could say, OK, I know what I need to know, now I can just do something else! That is so not what has happened, and it's days like today that I just want to sit on the porch and be! To try to sort things in my heart and mind. To make sense of the world, which ends up being something I'm having to give up thinking about cuz it don't make sense.
I've done my share of waiting lately, some of it for good reason, some for no reason at all that I can tell. I think the main thing is to be open to what the Holy Spirit is calling us to do at any given moment. To be receptive to his moving and calling. Lot's of people have crossed my path, some have decided to stay, others have taken their leave for what ever reason they have come up with, and it's really ok. I've learned that from Preacher man, we aren't really in control of others and I don't want to be. I have enough to do with keeping up with me. I'm learning to wait and not to push.
Today is the in between day, living in the belly of the whale, waiting for the morning light! It's where big spaces are made inside of us if we will just wait for them. You see, to love fully is to die. When we hand it over to God, he returns it to us as Christ consciousness. We die to our wants, our ways and we wait for God to fill us with Christ.
I want to stop those Roman's as they hit Jesus and humiliate him. Carry the cross for him you boogers, don't you get who he is? They didn't. Like Mary, John and the Holy Mother, I stand by and watch it happen. My desire dies right along with theirs, and now we wait.
We wait for God to return to us Christ consciousness. We wait for the morning, knowing it will come, and knowing ahead of time that the tomb will be empty. Now is not the time to celebrate, now is the time to wait for the Holy One. To be as we are, where we are, waiting to be changed and filled with His glory!
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