Note: My Editor is out of town for the weekend so watch out for typo's and stuff that doesn't make sense.
I went for a run this morning and ran straight through, which is something I haven't done in a while. My reason behind it was I don't think I will allow myself the walk a minutes ever four minutes with the pressure of the race going on around me. It was lovely out there this morning, cool and crisp 54 degrees, great for running. Anyway, I ran my 3.13 miles in 30.56 which isn't going to light the world on fire that's for sure. I didn't want to push it cuz that's never a good idea day's before a race. I'm starting to wonder if ushering the Razorback game is going to make my legs so sore I can't run. Then it hit me, why am I worrying about all this crazy little unimportant stuff? Is it because I feel like I can control it and there for master something into what I want it to be? Have you ever run? You do feel like your mastering your body and the road when your out there, but at any given moment a pot hole could show up and you would be eating gravel or worse yet, limping home cuz something went snap. So why do I get so wound up before a race, and I bet if you race, I'm not the only one that does this. My niece is a gymnast and if I had to preform for as long she does I would throw up. I'm also wondering who talked me into usher these crazy Razorback games. I will have to leave the house around noon, park at the Ayrshire lot, take a shuttle to the stadium, be checked in by 2:00pm and kick off isn't until 6:00! I might make it back to the truck by midnight. My legs are going to be throbbing noodles.
Then I read something a wise man wrote, "life is a journey into wonder, more mystery than mastery." Think about that for a minute. If we worried less about being the masters and more about seeking the mystery wouldn't that, for lack of a better word, be funner? I have been allowing myself to get all twisted up about no one signing up for my Bible study, instead of thinking, maybe this church isn't ready for that yet. Maybe I just need to seek God in the quietness of the little prayer room I am setting up and be joyful that I have a place to pray! Maybe God hasn't gotten everything lined up on the other side of this obstacle yet, and I just need to press into Him until it's time. Journeying into wonder doesn't diminish us, it gives our lives proper context, cuz it really isn't all about us. Some of it is about us, but not as much as we think. If we can start to see ourselves and all the stuff we want to master "in God" wouldn't that take some pressure off our shoulders? I know I for one think I am suppose to carry every burden that comes along.
My dear friend Pat, has shared a great lady with me in Amy Carmichael. She was a missionary to India in the early 20th century. Her mission was to deliver young women from the Hindu temple prostitution and the sex-slave industry. She went against the grain of the Indian religion and culture and was meet with great resistance. We are told that she kept going by praying a prayer like this, "God, this is Your problem, not mine. You must deal with it, for I cannot. If You will show me what You want me to do, I will work with You. Until then, I'm stuck."
We forget that the battle isn't ours, it's the Lords! We don't have to be experts only servants. So the journey into wonder and not mastery has an appeal to me, it's hugely freeing and enjoyable. So I will see this weekend of football games, church and races as journeying into wonder and we'll see if I enjoy myself more than I get twisted in knots!