South!

I saw this and felt compelled to pass it along. The reason behind it? It Preaches!

Things I have learned living in the South!

General Rober E. Lee

Possums and Armadillos are flat animals that sleep in the middle of the road.

You learn that "down the road a piece" could be a mile or 25 miles, and you know to make sure you're looking at the person who says it's "over yonder" so you can see where they point.

There are 5,000 types os snakes and 4.998 of them live in the South.

There are 10,000 types of spiders and all 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.

Skeeters are big enough to tote you off and eat you somewhere else.

If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

A true Southerner knows the car with the turn signal flashing is probably not going to turn.

Onced and Twiced are words and "gimme some sugar" does not mean the white stuff you put on your cereal.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!

"Jawl -P?" means did all of you go to the bathroom?

People actually grow, eat and like Okra!

"Fixinto" is one word, meaning I'm getting ready to do that.

There is no such thing as lunch. There's dinner and supper.

Sweet Tea is a little bit of iced tea in a glass of sugar, and the only appropriate drink for all meals. It is referred to as the Wine of the South and true Southerners start drinking it when they're two.

"Backwards and forwards" means I know everything about you, it or whatever.

"Jeet?" is actually a phase meaning 'Did you eat?'

You don't have to wear a watch, cuz it doesn't matter what time it is. You work till you're done or it's too dark to see.

You don't 'Push' buttons, you 'Mash' them,

Y'ALL is always plural!!!

You measure distance in minutes.

You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

All the festivals across the state are names after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

You know what Dawg is.

You know the difference between a Redneck, a Good ole Boy and Po white trash is.

You know when you hear someone say "Bless her heart" it is the Southern way of saying, she's slow, stupid or just doesn't have a clue to what's going on or how she ought to be acting.

You only need five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup.

Flip flops are acceptable footwear everywhere, even church.

The local paper cover national and international news on one page, but require six pages for local high school and college sports, motor sports and gossip.

You think the first day of deer season and football season are national holidays.

Football isn't a game, it's a religion and Bear Bryant is a patron saint. (sad but true)

You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit, a bit warm.

You know the difference between a hissy fit and a conniption fit and that you don't "have" them you "pitch" them.

You know exactly how many catfish or turnip greens make up a mess and all fizzy carbonated beverages are "Cokes" no matter what it says on the bottle.

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good stew or chili weather.

Fried Catfish is the other white meat.

We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If mama says you can drive, you can drive!!!
The only real way to say I'm sorry for your loss is with fried chicken, mama's squash casserole and a pound cake.